Wednesday, May 23, 2012

"You're so Gay you don't even know it"

Extra, Extra! Fresh off the press. My response to the DC super-hero hetero/homo switch controversy. Now that was a mouthful. Get it? Wink, wink, say no more.

A quick disclaimer is on order though. While I am heavily ridiculing DC for this ridiculous way of drumming up support for slumping sales and bad press due to their mistreatment of Alan Moore, I am not ridiculing or making fun of Gays/Homosexuals. They as a people/minority group and American citizens, deserve the same respect and support that anyone else in the US and aboard deserves. They're people too, and shouldn't be hated on due to something as small as sexual preference. Besides I have a very good gay friend who'd be pissed if I did.(Hey Jake!)
Well two, if you count Shlomo Ben, but I digress.

Alright on with the show.

Robin: "Holy Dilema ! DC's going to make some prominent super-hero who was straight,and make them Gay. Man, I hope it's not me!"

Robin: "Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, but I just can't stand being turned into a cliche' just for the sake of controversy. I mean, it's bad enough to have to put up with the "Batman and Robin are gay"jokes all year-round, but to actually have it possibly made true is more than I can take!"

Obsidian: "Hey there Mary! How's my favorite crime-fighting fairy doing?" Grabs Robin's ass.

Robin: "Would you quit it? It's bad enough I got to deal with the gay jokes, but I don't need to be sexually-harassed too!"

Obsidian: "Touchy, touchy. What's got your panties in a twist? Trouble at home with the old ball and chain? Ha ha!"

Robin: "Haven't you read? DC's making one of us gay. They won't say who, but I have a bad feeling it's going to be me."

Obsidian: "So what if they do? Would that be the worst thing in the world? Personally I'd love to see more pitch-hitters in the DCU. I mean, just because I'm butch doesn't mean I can't kick somebody's ass and look fierce doing it."

Robin: "I guess so but still.....

Obsidian: "I mean look at all the gay antics you and the old man have been into all these years. And for time's sake I'm not even going to mention the boners the Joker's tried giving you and Batman back in the day.(It's true kids. Go to for quick photo evidence.) Let's have a quick looksee shall we....."

Robin: "Sob. Oh god could it be true? Could I really be gay all this time? What will Batman say?"

Obsidian" No offense Mary, but you're name is Dick sooooooo...."

Batman: "Robin! The Bat-pole won't grease itself. Now hop to it lad, The Riddler's escaped Arkham again, and we need to go kick his ass again for the 50,000th time."

Obsidian: "What was that about being a cliche'? I guess someone's in for a long night."

Robin: "Grrr! Shut up Todd!"

Speaking of Gay, here's one for you Shlomo, way to represent your people man. Hang in there bro. Ha!

 And here's some other funny pics I found on the web:

                       And this is what Batman and Robin would look like if they were real and really gay.

Awwwwwww! Don't they look like a nice, sweet couple?


Dan said...

Hey mate - that was really well done! Makes me glad ta have an internet connection back!

Me, I'm one of those crazies who think it's so much a part of modern life, that for Marvel and DC to issue a press release over a 'Spider-Man being another race' or a hero being gay/lesbian and getting married, almost makes them seem outdated for trying to gain press about it or think its news.

Who would've thought the X-Books would ever try and play catch up with a more in touch Archie book??? Now there's ya sign of the apocalypse.

StarryPluto said...

HAHA! I sent that pic "If you don't like gay marriage" to Jake, you know why! ;)

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

damn dude that was some funny ass shit and i haven't even had time yet to go through this posting in detail. but i will later on today i promise. but i'm not gay, i just happen to i live in the S.F. Bay Area, and have been talking about balls on foreheads lately, and happen to be pro-gay marriage, and happen to own several cats, i wear turtle necks all the time, i eat a lot of organic yogurt, and i like lots of potpourri in the house too, but i'm not gay.
by the way Dale, Craig showed up on the SS blog today for the first time in while with a reply to your last comment. "i'll be back", or should i say brokeback?

Dale Bagwell said...

-Hey Dan, thanks for the kind words. Glad you enjoyed it.

Yeah it does seem like the major publishers are just now jumping on the diversity wagon, and it only took them what 20 years or so?
I think that's the problem with major publishers or major whatevers, in that it takes a long while for something new or radically diverse to become mainstream, and then it only happens once it becomes the hip/cool thing to do. So retarded and ass-backwards.

Glad you have your internet back. Trust me I know how that shit feels when you can't do what you'd normally do because of stupid bullshit like that. Welcome back mate.

-Starrypluto, glad you liked it too. Did I do good mama? Hell, just send the whole link to this page to him. He might like it.

Thanks for watching guys!

Dale Bagwell said...

-Shlomo, LOL man, LO f'n L! Sureeeeee you not gay.Rolls eyes.
And yeah, read all of it you lazy bum!

As for Craig, you sure he wasn't talking to you? I think he's harboring a secret crush on you forever man. If you guys ever meet, never, ever drop the soap! Just kidding Craig, you're a good sport and thanks for playing along.

Jay Andrews said...

Ha! Great post Dale. When you get the chance please check out my blog, you inspired me to write a similar post.

Dale Bagwell said...

Hey Jay, thanks for giving this humble distraction I call a blog a try. Also, I'm very humbled you were inspired by this post. Just spreading the madness I guess.

And I'll make sure to check your out as well.

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