Thursday, February 23, 2017

So, Who Would Win?: Kurt Busiek's Thunderbolts VS. Warren Ellis's Thunderbolts


What's up People?
For this week's edition of So, Who Would Win? I'm pitting Kurt Busiek's original Thunderbolts against Warren Ellis's version of the Thunderbolts.

Why? Because I can, and it sounds like a really, really fun fight.

Now if some of you don't remember by now, the major twist and hook at the end of first issue of the original Thunderbolts run, was that they were all classic villains posing as heroes, all led by Baron Zemo, posing as the patriotic hero Citizen V.

The main hook for Ellis's version of the Thunderbolts, was that they were all criminals who were legally-sanctioned to hunt down heroes and villains alike who violated the registration law post-Civil War.
This incarnation was led by now government operative Norman Osbourne, AKA, the Green Goblin.

How cool would it be to see these two similar, but also vastly different iterations of the same team face off against each other?

That's what I want to know.

Here's the roster for the original Thunderbolts:

  • Citizen V (Baron Zemo)
  • Meteorite (Moonstone)
  • Atlas (Goliath)
  • Songbird (Screaming Mini)
  • Techno (The Fixer)
  • Mach V (The Beetle)

And now here's the roster for Ellis's Thunderbolts:

  • Norman Osbourne (Green Goblin)
  • Moonstone 
  • Bullseye 
  • The Radioactive Man
  • Venom (The Scorpion)
  • The Swordsman (Andre Strucker)
  • Songbird 
  • Penance (Speedball)
Now as you can plainly see, at least two of the members from the first incarnation are also on the Goblin-led one, so that automatically makes it even more interesting to watch play out.

And no, I didn't add Jolt to the original line-up because she wasn't part of the initial original line-up, and 'cause I said so.


Kurt Busiek's Thunderbolts 


Warren Ellis's Thunderbolts 


Who wins and why?.
Let me know who thinks the last team standing in the comments' section below.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Why No Balder?

What I mean is where is Balder the Brave's representation via an actual action figure become a priority at Marvel and Hasbro?

Seriously, here's or I guess was nowadays, a pretty damn big deal in Thor's world and sphere of influence back in the day. Shit he was even king and ruler of all Asgard for a cup of coffee even.

But these days he's nowhere to be seen both in the current comics, or the movies. Which is really messed up if you think about it, considering that there's now three Thor movies ( well about three with Thor: Ragnarok coming out later this year) that at some point in the franchise the filmmakers would introduce Balder the Brave at some point, but no. Not even for a bit part.

And then of course there's other possible merch like games, t-shirts, and of course action figures.

None. Not one single Balder figure. Ever.

That's pretty fucked up Marvel/Hasbro. For real.

Hopefully in the next Thor wave whenever that is, if there is if Chris Helmsworth agrees to play Thor again in another movie.

So c'mon give Balder a break.
The same applies to the Warriors Three, Fandal, Hogun the Grim, and Voltstagg.
They desperately need to be made into figure too.

Do it!!!!!!

Monday, February 20, 2017

Dream Waves: X-Men Movie Figures

What's up People?
Enjoying yet another bullshit holiday like today, President's Day?
Seriously, it's a bullshit holiday that means absolutely nothing and does very little to honor the long-standing office of the US Presidency. And yet it's still a federal holiday, that needlessly closes the banks and most federal agencies.
Fucking stupid.

But enough about that. Today I'm going to briefly talk about what I would have done if I was Marvel and actually decided not to be petty and actually create Marvel Legends movie figures from the last two X-Men movies, Days of Future Past and X-Men: Apocalypse. 

I know why Marvel didn't due to the ongoing issues with FOX over FOX owning the exclusive movie rights to all the X-Men and X-Men-related characters.

Well I'm ignoring all that dumb political bullshit, and rolling out, free of charge, my ideas on how I'd handle organising and distributing Marvel Legends movie figures focusing on characters from those particular last two X-Men movies.

Here we go......

X-Men Movie Marvel Legends Wave 1:

1). Old Magneto

2). Young Xavier

3). Storm

I'm mainly using the Storm from Apocalypse, because that's what I figured would be used as the official Storm figure of the line, but they could always go with the Halle Berry version too.

4). Blink

5). Warpath

6). Iceman

7). Wolverine

8). Quicksilver 

There's two main looks for Quicksilver and personally I'd go for his Days of Future Past look, but that's just me.

BAF: Apocalypse

Wave 2:

1). Old Xavier

2). Young Magneto

3). Beast

4). Mystique

5). Young Cyclops

6). Colossus

7). Psylocke

8). Young Phoenix

BAF: Movie Sentinel

I put up two versions of the movie Sentinel because they had different looks throughout the movie; the main future versions and the more color-correct past versions. Take your pick.

So as you can clearly see, I mixed characters from the different movies, and mixed young and old versions around in the two waves as well.

Whatta' think? You like? No like?

Now yes there are some characters I didn't include, and I guess they could be the basis for a third wave. Characters like Bishop, Angel, Kitty Pryde and Rogue didn't make the list, but they might in another wave.

Thursday, February 16, 2017


Last week I got some nice SWAG in the form of three figures I ordered off Amazon, Spidey UK and the new black costumed Spider-Man from the Sandman BAF Spider-Man wave, and the new, updated Wonder Man from the Captain America Abomination BAF wave.

They're pretty decent figures really, especially the new, updated black Spidey. He comes with two sets of hands, which the Wonder Man figures also comes with two sets of hands, plus the often used Havok energy bubble snap on effects.

The Spidey UK figure, not to be confused with the British punk Spider-Man, is pretty unique in that he's not a straight up copy of the usual Spider-Man body buck, but instead uses the more bulkier body buck plus a new headsculpt. He goes great with the new, updated Captain Britain figure if you also happen to own one too.

So as it stands, I'm only two figures ( Ms. Marvel Kamela Khan and Spider-Man 2099) away from finally completing the Sandman. He's really fucking cool this go-round as a BAF even if I still think the first Sandman figure from 2005 is still the overall better Sandman figure.

As for the Abomination BAF, I'm only two figures in, so I've got a good ways yet to go, as I need to get the Cap, Iron Skull, Eel, and MCU Scarlet Witch figures in order to complete him.

Then on a shopping trip out of town, I wound up buying the first volume of the Batman: Elseworlds collection.

It's not a bad read, collecting works like Batman: Holy Terror, Batman: The Blue, The Grey, and The Bat, Robin 3000#'s 1-2, Batman/Dark Joker: The Wild, Batman/Houdini: The Devil's Workshop, Batman: Castle of the Bat, Batman: In Darkest Knight ( Batman as a Green Lantern), and Batman: Dark Allegiances.

These are all pretty much decent early Batman Elseworlds tales outside of the Kelley Jones' Batman Vampire trilogy. I wish they had included the Mike Mignola Victorian Batman one, but these are pretty good and worth a look-see.
Only $34.99, which for what you get, is a damn good deal.

I don't if any of you out there watches The Magicians on the SyFy channel, but you should be. The second season started two weeks ago, and man has the tension and intrigue really ramped up this season. It's never failed to entertain me, and this season is no different, maintaining the "anything can and will happen to the cast-storytelling approach that the show is known for. Give it a try if you haven't already. It comes at 9pm on Wednesday nights on the SyFy channel.

Oh and I'm also watching Legion.

It's the new show on FX about the mutant David Haller, aka Legion, Prof. X's schizophrenic but very powerful mutant telepathic and telekinetic son.

The show's been very fun to watch and diffinetly is a not your typical superhero show at all. It very much is a perfect visual marriage of mental health and mutant powers. If you haven't already, I highly, highly recommend watching this series, especially for those who don't usually watch superhero shows. They'll like the approach used here. Plus it's its own separate, contained thing that doesn't require you to know jack about mutants or the X-MEN. It's that new viewer-friendly.
It comes on at 10pm on Wednesday nights on the FX channel, so don't miss it.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

I'd be so down for this it wouldn't be funny!

So Moon Knight artist Greg Smallwood acting on his own accord, posted what's basically both fan art and a proposal for a new Midnight Sons series.

Here's the image:

As you can clearly see, the intended roster is Dr. Strange, Hannibal King, Blade, Ghost Rider, and Moon Knight's Mr. Knight persona.

I'd be all for this man. Shit just seeing Moon Knight on that roster seals it for me.

Now personally, I wouldn't stop there. I'd add a least 4 more on there, even if it's in a rotating guest capacity.

I'd add Damien Hellstrom

Jack Russell, Werewolf By Night

Morbius the living vampire

And Brother Voodoo, because frankly he could use the exposure.

What you guys think? Who would make the cut in your very own Midnight Sons team?

Monday, February 13, 2017

So, Who Would Win?: Sabertooth VS. Bane

What's up People?

Well I've got some bad news.
OK so you know it used to work for the Fonze to just bump/tap/hit an electronic device if it was acting up, and it'd just work like normal afterwards?

Yeah well there's a good reason why that only works in imagination land; 'cause in the real world you run the risk of making things worse.
That's what happened to me last week when my slow, 7+ year old laptop was being a stubbornly slow bitch to me. I open-hand slapped it a couple times in the wrong spot, and essentially broke my hard drive.

I swear I didn't think I hit it that hard, but isn't that just what domestic abusers say all the time?

Anyhow, it'll be a good 2-3 weeks before I get a new hard drive replacement. Oh and to make things worse, the hard drive was so badly damaged that they couldn't read the data on it. Meaning I lost all my saved pictures, files and music. Everything's gone for good. Fuck me running....

So I'll have to ask you guys to be patient and bear with me as I seek to continue to post from my trusty, but also slow, cellphone.

Oh technology, such a cruel and equally giving bitch of a monster are you....

So with that in mind, I'll be posting mainly column pieces from here on out until I can start making skits again.

For today's post I'll be pitting everyone's favorite assassin mutant sociopath Sabertooth against the man forever edtched in history as the man who broke the Bat, Bane.

Hey, I saw why not.
They're both two of the most merciless, remorseless and very resourceful killers you'd ever hope to avoid ever, so why not pit them against each other and see who manages to limp away?

Sabertooth is second to his eternal rival Wolverine I'm terms of mutant healing ability and deadly, razor sharp claws.

He's been militarily trained in the art of fighting, has keenly-sharpened senses that can smell and track anyone or anything, and is basically just one bad dude you NEVER want pissed off at you. EVER.

Likewise Bane is also a heavily trained combatant, who's also a very intelligent and capable strategist.
After all he's the who orchestrated the massive jailbreak in Gotham City that caused Batman to be wore down enough to be susceptible to being as severely beaten and broken as he was by Bane in Knight Knightfall.

As deadly as he is just by himself, what makes him even more dangerous is the super steroid serum he injects called Venom.  It's Venom that's increased his already considerable strength to super max levels as well as increased his durability and given him a much-increased healing ability.
It's this extra edge that has pushed him to upper echelon of Batman's rogues gallery.

In my scenario, Sabertooth's been hired by a rival nation to finally end Bane's reign of terror in ruling over the island nation of Santa Prisca, Bane's home, and Sabertooth seems to be the type of solution best used to achieve this goal.

But Bane's no dummy. Using his genius-level intellect ( yes folks, he really is a smart motherfucker) he learns all he can about his intended killer, and makes a plan to deal with him and those that sent him.





Who wins and why?