Monday, May 14, 2012

"Baby, you're a rich man"

Hey people,
I don't know about you guys, my weekend wasn't bad. I went to the Toys R' Us in the nearby city of Florence and snagged some cool new figures; DCUC's Wave 20 to be exact. There's was tons and tons of figures to choose from that and other toy lines. I even found a Monarch figure from the Venture Bros. cartoon series for only $5.90, but passed on it anyway.

What I did get though was Red Arrow(prepare to bombarded by drug/junkie skits now), Hawk(of Hawk and Dove fame), a personal favorite and must-have, Prof. Zoom, the Reverse-Flash, and last but not least......the Super-Friends edition 2-pack of Hal Jordan/Sinestro on sale for only $20. No bad from being originally $35.

The big thing(ha ha) that was the main selling point for me, was the fact that this Sinestro was in his traditional blue and black costume, that was sculpted in more appropriate scale and body-wise than the other Sinestro figures distributed throughout the line.

Plus the extra glowing energy ring construct weapons were welcome bonuses to the 2-pack. Too bad there aren't that many necessary accessories packaged in with the regular figures, as that's become a growing, but now moot point of contention from fans. Moot now that the wave has ended for now. Damn shame that one is!

Anyways, while I struggled and debated over either getting the 2-pack or 2 more Wave 20 figures such as Dove and the modern Green Arrow, I went with the 2-pack and never looked back.

Now some of you, especially Goo, would ask "How in the hell do you buy Hawk, but not Dove?" Simple. I'm a terrible chauvinist when it comes to figures. I rarely buy female figures unless they either look good enough to get or I need them for their C&C parts. Yep, just using them for their parts. How like a man huh?

As much as I really thought about buying Dove, I just couldn't pass up DC Comics' favorite teen sidekick junkie, so blame Roy, everyone else does.

Alright now on to today's skit, and bear with me folks as it's kinda' long. Not super long, but longer than my usual skits. It features Iron Man and Green Arrow(he broke his cherry guys!), so enjoy.

Green Arrow: "Well, well, well! If it isn't Mr.Moneybags himself,  Tony Stark."

Iron Man: "Hey Ollie. What's the matter with you?"

Green Arrow: "What's the matter with me? I'll tell you what's the matter with me. It's you! You're nothing but a Howard Hughes-wannabe, who happens to also be a typical, lying, opportunistic war-proffiteer who greed knows no bounds. Not to mention an insatiable horn-dog, whose love of women is only matched by his love of booze."

Iron Man: "Really, is that all? I think you forgot to call me a fat cat too."

Green Arrow: "Damn straight you are!"

Iron Man: "Look, I don't know what your problem is Ollie, but it's not with me. And since we're being so honest with each other, I feel turnabout's fair play. I'm not going to stand here and be insulted by a guy who has white-collar guilt."

Green Arrow: "What!? I don't have white-collar guilt."

Iron Man: "Sure you do. You're no better than a typical suburban white kid who thinks he's black just because he listens to Rap and feels he's being held down by "the man." You need to get over yourself because you're nothing more than egotistical loud-mouth, who claims to be disgusted by rich people, yet easily forgets how he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a golden rod up his ass. Not to mention being woefully unable to admit to being a second-rate copycat of Batman, who'd rather play William Tell than be a good enough role-model to keep his kid sidekick off of smack."

Green Arrow: "Yeah, well you're still a man-sized Richie Rich with delusions of grandeur, who uses his money to fill an empty space in his heart instead of what really matters, love. You also had a black manservant, so suck on that Miss Daisy!"

Iron Man: "Manservant!? Rhodey's a good friend who helps me out from time to time, you pathetic Robin Hood wannabe. FYI, Robin Hood was a well-known criminal who regularly looted and robbed from both rich and poor people alike. But for some strange reason he was made out to be a heroic outlaw, and not the common thief with good-to-average archery skills and a better PR rep he really was. And by the way, last I checked this is the 2000's, not the 12-or 1300's that you seem to think it is. Who the hell still uses a bow and arrow to fight crime this day and age, except maybe real-tree, jacket-wearing rednecks with deer stands and bad teeth."

Green Arrow" Yeah, what about Hawkeye, yours and Captain America's favorite ass-slave?"

Iron Man:"What about him? He gets a pass because he's f'n Hawkeye! Plus Clint's a much cooler name than Ollie, and he's in one a major top-selling movie."

Green Arrow: "Damn man, why you gotta' be like that? I'm sorry man, I just have a had a very bad week and all. I guess I didn't really mean all that stuff I said....well most of it anyway."

Iron Man: "It's all right Ollie. We're all entitled to have bad days sometimes. It's the nature of the game of life I guess."

Green Arrow: "Well, let's go find some cold ones and some hot women to make us feel better about 
ourselves. Whatta' say Stark?"

Iron Man: "Well, I guess technically I did give up my sobriety to for help from the gods during that Fear Itself bullshit, so I guess I better do my part to honor my bargain, so what the hell. Let's get stinking, falling-down drunk and tear shit up. We can always blame the property damage on some stupid super-villain that happens to be nearby. After all, it worked for President Bush Jr."

Green Arrow: "Cool. Except I'm all outta' cash right now tin-man. Sorry."

Iron Man: "Somehow that doesn't surprise me. Fuck it I'm rich! The booze and bitches are on me, but you got next time."

Green Arrow: "Fine by me Fat cat."

Both: "Ha ha ha ha ha!"


googum said...

I was gonna ask how you could get Hawk without Dove--but then I remembered I have a Ren and no Stimpy, so...

Ignoring Bendis's run on Avengers, I do like Hawkeye better than Green Arrow; probably because I've read like four different stories where Ollie loses his faith or his mojo or whatever and can't shoot. His arrows. Hawkeye wouldn't know an existential crisis if it bit him in the ass, and that's why he's cool.

That said, I love pitching Hawkeye crap too: "Earth's Mightiest Heroes...and Hawkeye."

Dale Bagwell said...

Yeah, Hawkeye does seem cooler since, as you said, he doesn't lose he shit even when he has a good excuse. Like the time his own teammate(Scarlet Witch) killed him and brought him back, or when he was looking for her, thought he found her and banged her, then found out it was a doombot! I'd be slightly fucked up about that fact alone.

You have a Ren and no Stimpy? You idiottttttttt! Sorry had to do it.

Omega Agent1 said...

Man this one was intense. Did arrow get all off his chest? I'm gong to read this one all over again, and then go say the shit to somebody. think they'll get mad? I don't give a shit I got Hawkeye as my damn back up. Coolest Avenger ever.

Oh, I asked you about DCUC in another post just disregard that. You told me what I needed to know in this post. I should have read em in order huh?

Dale Bagwell said...

Ha ha, yeah I guess so. I honestly don't know where all that came from, other than I imagine if those two ever got into it, the insults would probably go alittle something like that.

I Hawkeye's got your back, who's got your front? Gay joke alert. Gotta' watch those things m'man!

Glad you enjoyed it though. you rock too.

Omega Agent1 said...

Thanks Compadre, you've given the killa a new medium for self expression.

Fixed It: Knights In Trump's Service

   I'm starting the week off continuing with my new feature, (There)Fixed It , where I find a random panel from a random comic that in...