Wednesday, May 16, 2012

"The Five Of Us Are Dying" Part 1

Okay folks,
I've been talking to the other guys like Goo, Dan, Ben, and Omega how I was going to make a skit based on the five of us. You can thank/blame Ben, as I believe he was the impetuous(oh big word) of this idea. He suggested how cool it'd be if there were action figures of us all, and I got to thinking, yeah that would be cool, but there isn't. So here's the next best thing; using the figures I have available, I use 5 to represent each one of us. Oh boy this is gonna' be fun!
So sit back and enjoy, "The Five of us are dying" Part 1. And yes there are 2 parts, so don't complain.

Act 1: Much a-Goo about nothing

-Awaking in a strange and unfamiliar place, Googum quickly finds out he's not in Seattle, Washington anymore......

Googum: "Wha-!? Where am I? And why do I have the sudden urge for communion waffers?"

-Looking down, Goo realizes......
"Uhh Frik! Well this can't be good. I guess I'm Nightcrawler now. Nice. This must be karma for all the crap I put him through over the years on my blog."

"I just hope I'm not made to do anything I'll be too ashamed to let my kids read. Although this a Mr.Morbid skit, soooooo."

-Suddenly a lone wolf walks by......
"Oh come on! A small plastic toy wolf? Wow, the production value of this skit is real low.
Wait a minute! That wolf looks oddly familiar. Sam? Sam is that you?"

Sam: "Woof woof!"

"Great, now he drags my own dog into this skit? Alright, alright, think Goo, think. There's always a way out of these things, I just have to find it. Okay boy, let's find our way home."

Sam: "Woof! Woof, woof!"

-End of Act 1.

Act 2: Mozel Tov Magneto!

-Ben Hungstien(giggle) also awakens to find.......
Ben: "Huh what!?  Where the hell am I? Last thing I remember was secretly sending death threats to Adam Glass and having a werid, quasi-sexual talk with Omega. He, Hey I'm Magneto! Gee such original thinking there Mr. Morbid.

"Hmm, I wonder if I have magnetic counting abilities like the real Magneto does?

-(Yes it's true. Check out A vs. X#2 true believers!)

"But what the hell, I'm Magneto! Look out world, because I'm one Jew you don't want to mess with!"

"You there. Yes you! Go out and tell all the world that our people shall suffer no more! From this day forward, I, Magneto, shall lead our people back to the promised land!"

Random guy: "Sure, whatever you say mister. Just as long we make it back in time for my wife's Knaidlach(Matzo Ball soup)."

Random Guy's Wife: "Yeah Mister Magneto, we need to be home in time for suppah. Oy what a shame to be missing suppah!"

Ben: "What? You're missing the point here. I'm telling you that I'm going to deliver our people from oppression and all you're worried about is missing dinner? Fools! Magneto cares not for soup!"

Random family: "Arghhh! Run Mr. Mensch is going all Meshuggina!"

Ben: "Now what a minute! I didn't say run. Stop!"

Random Nazi: "Seig Heil!"

Ben: "What the fuck did you just say!?"

Random guy's wife: "Ooh Mr. Jew Hater, you shouldn't have said that! Now we'll never make it to temple on time!"

-End of Act 2.

Act 3: Rumble in the jungle.

-Omega himself awakens to the sudden realization that things are not what they appeared moments eariler....
Omega: "Huh? Hey where am I? I was just going to sleep thinking about that weird, semi-sexual talk I had with Ben, but I all of a sudden I'm waking up here, wherever here is."

-Omega looks down and realizes he's not what he's supposed to look like.....

"Wha? Alright!!!! I'm a kung-fu badass baby! I'm Bronze Tiger! Hell yeah! It looks like this 'tiger's gonna' be baggin' some serious sooki tonight! Arrrrooooo!"

"But first, I need to stretch out. I can't have a sex-sprain while tworkin' that tail. Ughh yeah, I'm gonna' hit it and quit it like Bruce Lee. Howahhhhh!"

"What? There's no shame in stretching and working up for the big game. Not all of us want to end up like David Carradine you know. Damn shame 'bout that dude though. Brotha' just couldn't handle that Thai ass I guess. Not me though. I'm gonna' all tiger-style on her ass, while she snatches the p-nis out of my hand. Ya heard?"

-End of Act 3.

To be continued.

Well, that's just the first part folks. As you can see, I've been using free, photoshop-like programs like and Gimp to mess around with. Hopefully that and my adequate computer skills will start to make these skits seem a little more better.

Part 2's on it's way soon.......


StarryPluto said...

Only time a ___ will ever be hung!

Dale Bagwell said...

I see what you did and I like it Star! He he.

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

bravo, we're off to a good start. you didn't have me eating gefilte fish and you managed to work David Carradine into a posting a again. by the way the first name is Shlomo they say it a lot in this video parody:

Omega Agent1 said...

Is Zatanna in the building?

I brought duck tape and holy water (among other things).

googum said...

I assure you, like the comics Nightcrawler, I am both helpful and useful...when the plot requires it. The rest of the time, I'm genuinely useless. And double for Sam!

Looking forward to meeting the rest, and awesome as always!

Dale Bagwell said...

-Ben, I'll keep that in mind for next time, and yes I didn't go for the super easy gefilte fish line...that's what the Matzo ball soup was for. And yes I looked up Mashuggina and the k-word, so there some research was done to be authentic.
Glad you liked it though.

-Omega, you're starting to freak me out man! Should I call the cops? Ha! Just kidding, love the humor. I smell a skit based off of what you laid out for Z, although that could also be my underwear....hmmmm.
Also, you must be a mind-reader, and I'll leave it at that.

-Goo, glad you liked it, and yes I guess Kurt can be useful for something other than Sentinel target practice or slight of hand...Ha! Get it?

Thanks again for the comments guys, I'm doing this all for you...and me. What you think I'm totally altruistic? Bitch please.....

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

there may have been more to it then just good and thorough research on your part Dale. you might have a little bit of heeb some where along your family tree :)

Dale Bagwell said...

You know Shlomo, I actually thought that at one time since my grandparents on mother's side are both German and French. They're not, but who's to say there isn't a little Jew in all of us eh? Wow, now that is a scary thought!. Can't be, because I suck at math! Ha!

Dale Bagwell said...

Damn my poor typing skills! You must all think I'm on crack or something.

LisaGemini1 said...

Thanks Dale for the welcome

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