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Tuesday, May 08, 2012

"Animal crackers in my soup...."

Captain Atom: " Well, if it isn't PETA's favorite super-hero, Animal Man!"

Animal Man: (Singing)"Animal crackers in my soup, monkeys and rabbits, loop de loop.

Hey cap. I was just going to the grocery store to pick up some things for the wife and kids. You need anything?"


Captain Atom: "Yeah, how about making it 2004 again, or better yet, 1986 while you're at it. And don't forget the industrial-sized can of whoop-ass for the whole damn DC corporation!"

Animal Man: "Wow, someone's in a bad mood."

Captain Atom: "You can say that again. God I hate this stupid company! Is it too much to ask to not be rebooted every 5 minutes? For the love of God, I'm a slightly altered human being not a laptop!"

Animal Man: "This whole NuDCU thing not working out for you I take it then?"

Captain Atom: "Did ya' gain the attention span abilities of a dolphin? Of course I'm not happy with the NuDCU! They're trying to turn me into Dr.Manhattan from the Watchmen. Do you think I'm happy with being turned into a second-rate, naked copy of myself?"


                                        Animal Man: "I guess not. Well at least my book's doing well. It's a spooky good run by the crafty Jeff Lemire. I haven't been this popular since Morrison was writing about me."

                                      Captain Atom: "I hope I give you cancer just from standing next to me.



-Ben says Animal Man should suffer from an extremely lower sperm count as well. he's right and I should've thought of that. Damn! I'm slippin'.

-Extras:

Animal Man: "Oh wow, I finally made it into one of these skits I'm always hearing about. Cool Beans!"

Captain Atom: "I'm just sure the wife and kids are thrilled for you."

Animal Man: "What was that?"

Captain Atom: "I said I'm thrilled for you. Welcome to the club. Ass-clown."



2 comments:

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

oh man these past couple of weekends while watching Young Justice i've had to deal with those vintage Shirley Temple movie commercials with among other things the animals crapping in my soup song. now i've got that song in my head thanks to your posting title.
i haven't been following the new DCU Capt. Atom but aside from cancer i think being too close to him can also make your sperm count drop.
check out what showed up on the re-cornered blog today: http://corneredblog.blogspot.com/2012/05/david-holsey-corners-suicide-squad.html

Dale Bagwell said...

Ha ha. Glad I could add to your bits of mental frustration there. You know for some weird reason, those commercials don't irritate me like they usually would.

Oh, and yeah, the sperm count issue is definitely something I should've thought of. Nice. Well I guess it wouldn't hurt having help writing these things so I wouldn't forget something as obvious as that. Oh well, better luck next time.....or I could add it in and update it. You want credit? Nah, of course you don't. You're a good sport.