Monday, September 18, 2017

Swamp People

Ok, maybe this would've funnier two weeks ago....

But what's not funny is just how much of a tear the Grim Reaper's been lately.
Last week we lost two legendary talents in actor Harry Dean Stanton, famously known from such movies like John Carpenter's Escape From New York, Alien, Pretty In Pink, Cool Hand Luck and many many more over a 60 year career, and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, former wrestler and famed manager from the '80's who was arguably one of the greatest wrestling managers of all-time.

Damn Grim Reaper, no fucks given :(

Friday, September 15, 2017

So, Who Would Win?: Kurt Busiek's Thunderbolts VS. Warren Ellis' Thunderbolts


Oh what the hell, haven't had a Friday post in awhile, might as well make the most of it.
And that means, another exciting edition of So, Who Would Win?

This week's combatants are Kurt Busiek's Thunderbolts and Warren Ellis' Thunderbolts.
Yes that's right, a battle of the Thunderbolts, 'cause why not?

You know how it is, if you have a team/franchise that's been awhile, there's always the temptation to ask well which version or particular era of that team/franchise is better than certain others?

Well today I'm asking out of these two well-known and popular incarnations of the Thunderbolts which version is the superior version, the originals or the original Civil War version?

To help determine that, we'll have to look at the members of those teams and how they ultimately stack up against each other.

Let's take a look at the original Thunderbolts first, shall we?

They first appeared in the Incredible Hulk#449 (1997) and quickly shook things up when it was revealed at the end of the team's first issue, that the seemingly heroic new super-team that just took over the FF's home and headquarters, were in fact Baron Zemo and the Masters of Evil in disguise.
After that shocking revelation, it was on like neck bone sucka', to see just how long Zemo's ruse would last.

Zemo's Thunderbolts:

1). Citizen V - 
AbilitiesScientific genius
Master swordsman and hand-to-hand combatant
Skilled strategist

2). Mach 1 - 
AbilitiesHighly intelligent
Extensive knowledge of mechanics and engineering
As Beetle and MACH-I/IV:
Powered armor grants:
Superhuman strength and durability
Flight via artificial wings
Variety of weapons systems

3). Atlas - 
AbilitiesSuperhuman strength and durability
Size and mass manipulation

4). Songbird - 
AbilitiesSupersonic speed
Sound and vocal manipulation
Sonic screams, waves, and burst projection
Hypnotic song
Ability to create "solid sound" constructs

5). Meteorite - 
AbilitiesSuperhuman strength, speed, stamina and reflexes
Gravity manipulation
Photon blasts
Light generation
Minor molecular control

6). Techno - 
AbilitiesElectronics and mechanical genius
Robotic body

7). Jolt - 
AbilitiesOriginally: Kinetic powers, energy control, super-human agility, electric shocks
Later: Electrical control and discharges while in energy form

I chose to include Jolt even though she wasn't originally a part of Zemo's team. She came around the 4th/5th issue, so not quite an OG member, but kinda'....similar to how Cap's retroactively a founding original member of the Avengers even though he didn't join until the 4th issue after the team was already established.

Norman Osborn's Thunderbolts first appeared in Thunderbolts#110 (March 2007), and came about due to the aftermath of the first Civil War, in which Tony Stark decides create the Marvel version of the Suicide Squad....basically. This incarnation of the team would eventually become the Dark Avengers in 2009 during the Dark Reign era.

Osborn's Thunderbolts:

1). Green Goblin - 
  • Superhuman strength, stamina, durability, agility and reflexes due to ingesting the Goblin Formula
  • Regenerative healing factor
  • Genius-level intellect
  • Proficient scientist
  • Skilled in hand-to-hand combat and martial arts
  • Utilizes goblin-themed weapons and a Goblin Glider

2). Bullseye - 
AbilitiesExpert martial artist
Exceptional physical condition
Use of edged/throwing weapons and conventional firearms
Spinal column and various other bones laced with adamantium
Innate ability to throw virtually any object as a projectile

3). Moonstone - 
AbilitiesSuperhuman strength, speed, stamina and reflexes
Gravity manipulation
Photon blasts
Light generation
Minor molecular control

4). Swordsman - 
(Andreas von Strucker):
Concussive bolt projection
Phenomenal acrobat
hand-to-hand combatant
Force blasts and flight while in physical contact
Sword usage

5). Songbird - 
AbilitiesSupersonic speed
Sound and vocal manipulation
Sonic screams, waves, and burst projection
Hypnotic song
Ability to create "solid sound" constructs

6). Penance - 
Abilities(As Speedball):
Force field generation
(As Penance):
Energy blasts

7). Venom - 
As Venom and Spider-Man:
Symbiote grants:
All of Spider-Man's powers
Limited shapeshifting
Immunity to Spider-Sense

8). Radioactive Man - 
AbilitiesGenius nuclear physicist
Radiation manipulation
Armored suit grants:
Superhuman strength and durability
Flight via boot jets
Computer and radio transmitter and receiver
Backpack rocket launcher

Well right out the gate, Zemo's team is outnumbered 8-7, and then there's the shock for both teams to realize they're sharing two members with Moonstone and Songbird.
That's defintiely gotta' fuck with both teams mentally going into this.
Then there's the dueling power and skill-sets, with Osborn's team possibly pulling ahead again, but that's only once both Songbirds and Moonstones have taken each other out.

What would really be interesting to see is who can out-manipulate and betray who, especially with two world-class manipulating scumbags in Baron Zemo and Osborn. 
Goddamn if this wouldn't be the epitome of a pissing contest between the two. The bragging rights alone would be worth seeing who comes out on top.


Kurt Busiek's/Baron Zemo's Thunderbolts


Warren Ellis'/Norman Osborn's Thunderbolts

Who wins and why?
As always I'm curious who you think would be the last Thunderbolts team standing.

I'd be remiss if I didn't pass along some bad news.
Wednesday we lost famed actor Frank Vincent due to complications he suffered during open heart surgery.

If he looks familiar to you, he should, seeing as how he gained fame playing Italian gangsters throughout his storied career. 
His most famous and well-known role had to be when he played Billy Batts in the movie Goodfellas( My absolute favorite movie ever)

Damn shame to lose such a talented and very well-respected veteran actor and all-around damn fine human being.
To my fellow Leo(we shared the same birthday),

Salute, Frank Vincent.....

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Fantasy Team-Up: Adam Strange and ROM


Well folks, here we are on the last day of Fantasy Team-Up week.
And for today, I'm going out on a high note with a special team-up that not only makes sense, but also one that should make a certain longtime friend and commenter to this blog very happy.

Shlomo, this is for you buddy.

Why would Shlomo be interested in this particular team-up? Why because it involves one of his favorite comic characters ever, ROM, the Spaceknight, as he teams up with Adam Strange, the human protector of his adopted home planet Rann.

So why would ROM and Adam Strange ever meet up, besides the fact that both of them hangout in space a lot?

Simple, because of these nasty fuckers, The Dire Wraiths.

In case you didn't know, the Dire Wraiths are life-long enemies of ROM's and basically all other forms of life in the universe, due to the fact that just like the alien Brood, they seek to conquer and consume all they can in order to continue to thrive.

The Dire Wraiths are very powerful since they're able to shape-shift, have super-strength, and in the case of the females of the species, also actively practice magic.
The Dire Wraiths get their shape-shifting abilities from being genetic offshoots of the Skrulls due to the Celestials experimentations, but shit, even the Skrulls don't want anything to do with them.

Now in my scenario, the Dire Wraiths are looking for a new home-world since their last one was destroyed after being banished to limbo by ROM.
Now this problem was solved in the main MU back in 2011, when the Annihilators restored Wraithworld in order to restore a cosmic balance with the universe.

Not so here.

Instead, the Dire Wraiths are still roaming the stars, looking for a hospitable planet to use as their new home.
This is where Adam Strange comes into play, because for some odd reason, it's HIS adopted planet Rann, that is chosen to become the new Wraithworld after its deemed fit enough to takeover.

The atmosphere of Rann seems to agree with the Wraiths' unique physiology and abilties, meeting all the conditions needed for the Wraiths to survive and thrive in this new world.

So to Rann they head.

Upon their arrival, they quickly access the situation and study the natives of their new intended home.

Its then after a period of a month of having laid low and bred enough new Wraiths from both natural means and from having taken and assimilated various native lifeforms, that the Wraiths make their presence known.

Sardath, Rann's resident genius scientist and father-in-law to Adam Strange, begins to notice signs and evidence of the Wraiths' arrival, and sets off to personally investigate, taking his lab assistant with him.

It doesn't too long for Sardath to find the Dire Wraiths new base of operations. After a quick fight, Sardath somehow is able to escape long enough to send out an emergency distress signal to Adam Strange before the Wraiths kill his assistant and capture him for further study.

After successfully probing Sardath's mind, the Wraiths gain all the knowledge and facts about Rann (Its strengths and weaknesses) they'll need to help them in completely conquering and taking over the planet.

It doesn't take them long to put that knowledge to bad use as they waste no time in killing and assimilating more and more Rannians.

All hope looks lost until a certain familiar red and white-garbed figure comes streaking through the Rannian sky, Rann's protector and champion, Adam Strange!

Adam Strange came as fast as he could, considering he has to wait for a certain day of the month for a zeta-beam to transport him from Earth to Rann.

Unfortunately when he does finally arrive, he arrives to a Rann that's already been constantly bombarded by daily attacks from the Dire Wraiths for the entire time it it took for the conditions to be right for Strange to get there.

After quickly accessing all the damage, he instantly thinks about his wife Alanna and wonders if she's okay.
Thankfully it doesn't take long for his worries to be assuaged upon seeing Alanna alive....

.....but not for long as she's being tirelessly pursued by some wraiths.

Adam manages to fight them off long enough to grab Alanna and fly away to a safer place.
She quickly fills him in on what's happened, how there's race of invading aliens hellbent on taking over Rann, and how her father's among the many missing Rannians.

In the days that follow, Adam Strange does all he can to combat the threat of the Dire Wraiths, but there's only so much one man can do.

Brought to the brink of utter exhaustion after fighting non-stop for days on end and on the verge of being killed, things look bleak for Adam Strange while in the middle of an intense battle with a horde of Dire Wraiths.

Just as it looks like they're going to gain the upper-hand and kill Strange, multiple blasts of ruby red death strike the horde of wraiths with lazer-like procession, eliminating all of them in a big blinding flash of light.

Another giant explosion follows near Strange, as a mysterious figure emerges from the spot where the wraiths once stood.....

It's ROM, the spaceknight, and he's arrived on Rann to help Strange combat the Dire Wraiths after intercepting Sardath's emergency distress signal.

Introductions are hastily made, and ROM's brought up to speed on all that's happened.

Now it's Adam Strange and ROM against a planet-full of angry, hostile, and desperate Dire Wraiths.

May whatever gods the Rannians serve help them all!

Shit, I maybe be biased here, but I'd definitely read this one. Probably have it be a two-parter or 3-issue mini-series to really get the most out of this team-up.

What do you guys think?

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Fantasy Team-Up: Ultron and Skynet

It's Day 3 of  Fantasy Team-Up week here @ Mr. Morbid's House of Fun, and today's team-up involves some very homicidal robots/machines, in Ultron and the Skynet program from the Terminator movie franchise.

When you think about it, I can't think of a more deadlier combination of evil machines and robots other than if Ultron ever hooked up with Skynet.

Think about the long-term ramifications of Ultron at first aiding, then quickly taking over Skynet to mass produce millions and billions of Ultrons?


So in my scenario, Ultron still exists, just not in the regular MU or multiverse. He exists in the James Cameron Terminator world, where he's still created, and even still built by a Dr. Hank Pym, except this Dr. Pym never becomes a superhero or founding member of the Avengers. In fact there's no superheroes at all in this world, or a SHIELD for that matter.

 Nope, instead he's just a regular old genius scientist who's in direct competition with the creators of Skynet, to create a new defense system to benefit the the world and all mankind.

Of course as in the main MU, his plans don't go the way he intended, and this Ultron also becomes self-aware and increasingly hostile towards his "father" and all humankind in general.

Ultron breaks free from Pym's lab after killing him, and goes of in search of kindred spirits.

 Those kindred spirits wind up being Skynet, which Ultron interfaces and interacts with, to the point that Skynet too becomes self-aware....and increasingly hostile towards humankind.

 I'm sensing a pattern here....

Since Ultron had a more direct hand in making Skynet self-aware, he has an easier time manipulating and eventually taking over the system, whereas, he'd probably have to sweet talk Skynet a bit more if Skynet had achieved self-awareness on its own.

 Either way, Humans are fucked.

In a very short amount of time, Ultron uses Skynet to takeover the world, and in time, Ultron plans on conquering other planets and solar systems as well.

Then he sets his sights on the multiverse....

With no one really to challenge him, since there's no superheroes in this world, Ultron truly is king.


For a tiny, remote bunker, where a very small band of freedom fighters still exist....for now.
The mission? To send someone back into the past to kill Ultron's creator before he creates him.

That person is John Connor.

*Que Terminator movie music*

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Fantasy Team-Up: The Hulk and The Maxx

What's up people?

Today's another exciting edition of Fantasy Team-Up, a column I'll be going with for the rest of week, posting various team-ups I'd love to see and read about.

For today, I'm going with an admittedly odd paring of the incredible Hulk and Sam Kieth's the Maxx.

Now Kieth is no stranger to the Hulk, having drawn various Marvel covers with the Hulk on them back during the late 80's/early 90's, and even wrote and drew a 4 issue Hulk/Wolverine mini-series in 2002.

Then there's the Maxx, Kieth's personal creation from the early 90's that became so popular that MTV agreed to and aired an animated Maxx series in 1995.
Maxx was

In my dream scenario, Mr. Gone's returned and he plans on making life for the Maxx and Julie very difficult by forcing the dream world of the Outback to combine with the "outback" of every person alive in the world to overtake our reality.

He's got various schemes in place to make this ambitious plan work, but the Hulk does factor very much into these nefarious plans.

 And it's the Hulk who Mr. Gone goes after, invading his dreams, showing him the Outback, or at least a distorted version of the Outback, the Hulk's Outback/dream world, according to the Hulk's damaged mental state, and attacking him through that.

Lots of Hulk VS. Isz action, with the Maxx and Julie being likewise attacked by Isz's.

Of course, you'd get the obligatory superhero misunderstanding between the Maxx and Hulk, leading to a fight.

And let's be real here, there's no way I'd ever do an edition of So, Who Would Win? with these two, because all know the Hulk would win hands down. Now maybe Hulk were to be transported to the Maxx's Outback, The Maxx might have a chance with all things being even, kind of, but either way, the Hulk's got this one, so yeah, no wondering who'd win in a fight, because the Hulk would clearly have it.

No folks, instead, Julie's able to step in the middle of them and force the Hulk to calm down enough to listen to reason and realize they're all on the same side and that they need to band together to take down Mr. Gone once and for all.

Now imagine all the sights and different locals we'd get to see.
The New Mexico desert, Julie and Maxx's home city, The Outback, and more.

Fuck, I'd read it!

"Closing time. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here."

Well..... I kinda always knew this day would come, and it sure has. It's been a hell of a ride, but it's time to for it end. Ti...