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Tuesday, August 07, 2012

The Fast and the Furyous

Got a late start today folks, thanks to the shitty weather. It fucks with my Wi-Fi connection bad, thus adding another reason why I hate summer. I know I have to break down and buy a wireless antenna, but I'm cheap and lazy, and don't feel I need a bunch of equipment just to have fucking internet. Bullshit people, bullshit.

Anyhoo.

Here's a skit I have had in the can for 4 months, but never used it. Maybe you guys will like, maybe not. Picture quality's not the best, but the dialogue, yeah I'm actually proud of that.

So without further ado.......


Nick Fury: "Yahoo! I'm a fucker, I'm a fighter, I'm a wild-bull rider! Yahoo!

Captain America: "Dammit Nick, I told you it's time for your daily meds! Now come back down here mister or there will be some serious consequences."

Nick Fury: "Eat it Rogers, ya' lousy pinko!"

Nick Fury: "I'm coming for you David Hasselhoff! I'm gonna' make your commie ass sorry you and Hydra ever tried to sissify my name with that shitty FOX made for TV movie ya' candy-assed goldbrick!
I'm gonna' make you my bitch just like I did with ol' Adolph."

Captain America: "Sigh. Why me? God why do you hate me so much? Haven't I always done the right thing for America and the whole entire world all my life? I think I deserve better than this."

Nick Fury: "Stop yer' crying ya' pinko goldbrick, 'cause it's time to kill us some Nazis. Yahoo, ya' Nazi-lovin' bastards! Get some, get some!"


Well Fury's got a point there; after all that Nick Fury movie from FOX really was god-awful. I mean the chick playing Madame Hydra, Sandra Hiss was hot as hell, but the whole movie looked low-rent, and it showed. Thus probably why it took a bad-ass like Sam L. Jackson to make Fury cool again....you know, even if this Nick Fury's black. But I digress.

In honor of Fury's.....enthusiasm, here's a track from probably one of his favorite movies, Full Metal Jacket, called "Hello Vietnam."

Take it away Johnny Wright!




6 comments:

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

i my God i just watched the trailer for the first time in my life. i've seen sci-fi channel originals that were higher production quality. but just imagine,The Hoff vs The Wall. thanks for getting back to me on that Batman Vampire trade i think i'll look of it at a couple of local libraries here. they actually have a good selection of trades just yesterday i found a Secret Six TPB complete with the first 6 or 7 issues.

Dale Bagwell said...

No problem on the recommendation man. Seriously, $20 for all 3 parts is good deal, so go get if you can.

I haven't seen the trailer for the FOX movie, but I'll have to now that you mention it. It's bad enough I vaguely remember the damn thing in the first place:)

And yeah compared to those horrible SyFY originals, the Nick Fury movie makes those originals look like the whole Star Wars and Godfather trilogies combined:)

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

i remember back when the Sci-Fi channel just got started in the early 90s and was really cool. they used to play old 70s and 80s sci-fi TV show re-runs all the time. sometimes they had lame shit like Lost In Space but most of the time they had a lot of good stuff like old Sliders, Battlestar Galactica and Buck Rogers episodes. they even used to have stuff like old Wonder Woman episodes the good anime like Robotech too. they even used to have this pretty cool program about all things sci-fi and comic books called the Anti-Gravity Room.
but for years now it's been nothing but shit like ghost hunters, fucken wrestling and those rancid sci-fi channel movies. that channel is unwatchable now unless they happen to be playing a random sci-fi movie that wasn't bad. but FX is more likely to have that.

Dale Bagwell said...

Yeah, tell me about it. I miss the old anime shows too, as they used to come on friday nights, and saturdays too. I don't watch the channel myself that much either, and FX really isn't all that much better, but it all depends on your individual preference.

Now FX when it first came on, played old re-runs too, like Greatest American Hero, Wonder Woman, Batman, the Green Hornet, and more. Hell they even played 21 Jump Street too. I still can;t get over how much the remake's killed that possible franchise. It was treated like a joke, unlike the original show:(

Dan said...

Nick Fury needs his own book - sure he's got a Max one but even a geneeral audience book would be cool. When Jason Bourne, James Bond and CSI are among the biggest franchises in current existence, plus that Avengers thing, how a straight talkin super spy with a jetpack and hellicarrier cant rank in sales is beyond me.

Just don't get me started on the comics recent Nick Fury Jnr.

As for tv here, I'm surprised how many fans are in my office of the retro tv classics that absorb late night programming. Just proves that Accountant or Pencil Pusher, there's a little Dolph Lundgren Punisher in us all. ;)

Dale Bagwell said...

@Dan, Sweet baby Jesus no! I can't believe you just referenced that horrible, horrible film! Hell I'll take the Jane Thomas remake and the old 1990 Captain America film over that abortion. What the hell was Dolph Castle's deal with sitting buck-naked yoga-style in his home I guess you'd call it? You now it was the 80's because they made Frank share a base with the TNMT in the sewers:)

As for a main Fury book, yeah maybe they should, but I doubt it'd sell super well. Googum tells me the Fury Max stuff is fucking awesome though.