Monday, August 20, 2012

Return of the slap!

Monday already? Damn where does the month go?

Today's episode features Elongated Man, who's busting his appearance cherry here @the House, and good ol' reliable Captain Cold.


-Captain Cold flees the scene of a recent bank robbery in Midway City....

Captain Cold: "Ha ha! That was the easiest score of my life; almost too easy. I need to get the fuck outta' dodge before some stupid do-gooder gets in my way."

-All of a sudden that elastic hero, Elongated Man shows up.

Elongated Man:"Whoa, where you going Cold?"

Captain Cold: "Away from you to enjoy my hard-earned money and some loose women. Now step aside Hero!"

EM: "Now you know I can't do that! That's a direct no-no from the superhero code-book."

Captain Cold: "Have it your way Sherlock, but get ready to find out just how fucking brittle rubber gets when its frozen solid."

EM: "Sure, sure. I think we all watched the that first Fantastic Four movie and found out the answer to that one genius. But before you start blasting, can I ask you a question first?"

Captain Cold: "What, you gonna' beg out of this one Ralphy-boy?"

EM: "No, I just wanted to ask you a quick question."

Captain Cold: "Oh this'll be good. Sure pal, what is it?"

EM: "What did the five fingers say to the face?"

Captain Cold: "What? You're really asking me that? Wait, I'm sure I know this one."

Captain Cold: "Is-*"

EM: "Slap!"

EM: "Ha ha. I'm the Elongated Man, bitch!"

Captain Cold: "Uhhh."

Come on people, you have to know where that's from.
If not, maybe this will refresh your memory:



StarryPluto said...

You don't slap a man and even when it used to be socially acceptable someone died afterwards.

I like this one, haha

Dale Bagwell said...

I knew that you would:)

Now which team are you on, Shirts or blouses?:)


Omega Agent1 said...

the elongated man has a nice figure. I still hope Captain Cold get's up and beat him like he stole the money.

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

i'm sure i must have sent this to you at one time or another:

Dale Bagwell said...

@Omega, yeah this one is. He's from the DC Direct Identity Crisis set. There's a new DCUC version coming out next year, but unfortunately for me and many others, its only available from the subscription line:(

I like how his neck stretches up and down(not like that you sickos)
and the swap-able stretchy arm extensions he has.

And Cold just might...when he wakes up.

@Shlomo, yeah I remember that. Funny shit. That one line's what made him despite that re-donk-ulious costume he wore:(

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

what cracks me up about this skit is that it opens up with Captain Cold and a plastic bag full of pocket change. it kinda reminds me of the opening scene in a Justice League Unlimited episode "Flash and Substance" in which Cold and some of the other Rogues are complaining about how desperate they've gotten in terms of low ball heists because of the Flash.

Dale Bagwell said...

@Shlomo, yeah I didn't have an empty balloon or glove, or something to use as a bag for Cold's stolen loot, so I just said fuck it, and use my very own bag of loose change. Sometimes its the little things eh Shlomo?;)

Dan said...

I loves me a decent Captain Cold. its great that some bad dudes just want to swim in boobs and booze and not take the world hostage. As for 'I'm the elongated man bitch' that gold belongs on a tee shirt.

Dale Bagwell said...

@Dan, Ha ha yeah it would wouldn't it? You think DC would let me slide on that one?:)

googum said...

The Rogues gotta hate Elongated Man--it'd be better to get beat by Kid Flash, or old Flash, or anyone. And is it OK to slap a drunk? Since Cold is, well...

Dan said...

hey what are they gonna do? We could make a range of them. 'I'm F%&#d over, like DC did Joe Shuster' for example. Actually I sense a Dragons Den pitch in that one lol :-)

Dale Bagwell said...

@Dan, I know right? Too much material, too little shirts:)

"I've just been Alan Moored", "Joe Shustered", "Siegeled", etc.

@Googum, No, actually the Kid Flash one would be more of an insult because its a kid; powers or not.

Ralph's a pro, so it comes with the territory. Still, I can't imagine Digger and the gang NOT giving Cold shit about that.

As for hitting a drunk, which I don't think Cold was at the time, since he hadn't really had a chance to spend the dough, I don't see any law against it. Hell cops do it all the time right?:)

"Get Snakey"

Hey whattaya' know, it's a brand new skit this week. Enjoy this fun little homage to one of the more recently popular "danc...