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Wednesday, August 01, 2012

"Always bet on Black"

1st of the month mother-truckaaaaaaaaaaaas!
It's fun doing that. Oh the little pleasures we derive out of life, am I right?

Anyhoo, before I get to the main attraction, some quick shout-outs.

Two birthdays to celebrate today; one used to be fun to observe, and the other one is a new reason to celebrate the 1st of August, you know besides, it being....


So birthday boy/entity numero uno, is MTV.

Ah yes MTV.
I've gone on a short rant before on the topic of MTV, and how far the concept and network have fallen since its golden days, a long, long time ago. So I won't go into all that again, but I will say this, it seems the network may have been ahead of the curve after all. How you say?
Well look at the programming they have on there; baby-mama drama, fist-pumping, alcohol-guzzling Guidos,   reboots of popular 80's movies, high school comedies, Jack-Ass rip-offs, and shows devoted to covering funny web blunders, you know, because there aren't enough of those types of shows already out there;(

It's the type of programming that's perfect for today's aggressively short-attention spanned teenager. Quite sad really.

And as I lamented before, the incredible lack of emphasis on what brought MTV to the dance in the first place: actual music! Well what passes for music these days, so don't ask me about that particular topic unless you want me to tell you when actual music was being made.

*SPOILER ALERT*

....It was before you were born!
Well maybe not Shlomo, but you get the point.

So yes, happy 31st birthday, MTV. You now largely irrelevant symbol of days long gone by.


And the other birthday?
Oh yeah, you know him as the host of his very own blog, and admitted collector of Barbie doll furniture(I think:)) Googum!

Yes our very own Big 'EMs aficionado turns.......IDK, but I probably won't want to know what it is in dog years:)

So do the big guy a favor and visit his blog, because frankly kids, he needs all the visitors he can get:)

I kid, I kid, He's doing fine.
So happy birthday Goo!

And now ladies and gentlemen, on to the main reason you come here, and I know its not the food:

"Always bet on black"

-Bronze Tiger walking along, minding his own business, when all of a sudden....


Spider-Man: "Hey, look who it is! Wow man, I've always been a big fan of your films."

Bronze Tiger: "Say what!?"

Spider-Man: "Yeah, I know you....you're Wesley Snipes. I loved Jungle Fever, Passenger 57, oh and all those Blade movies. If it wasn't for you, Marvel wouldn't be making so many kick-ass movies like it is now. Say, aren't you supposed to be in jail though? You know, for tax evasion?"

Bronze Tiger: "What!? What in the hell makes you think I'm Wesley Snipes? Oh you think just because I'm black and I know karate I just have to be Wesley Snipes then? That's just straight up racist man, damn!"


Spider-Man"Sorry man. It was an honest mistake."


Bronze Tiger(not Wesley Snipes): "Oh you're sorry now huh? You're gonna' be sorry in a minute after I kick your white, honkey-ass!"


Spider-Man: "Hey I'm not racist, honest to god! I have black friends, you know, like War Machine and Luke Cage."

Bronze Tiger: "Oh you think you're down because your friends with a poor-man's black Iron Man and Mr. Blackspolitation himself? That nigga' still thinks he's in the 70's, hanging out with his rich, crazy white friend with the Kung-Fu fetish and fucking green pajamas. Fuck that shit!"
Spider-Man: "Hey he's cool, I swear!"

                                Bronze Tiger: "Whatever cracker, I...wait a damn minute! That's not how I talk. I'm a respectable and well-educated man, not some puppet who has his strings pulled by some punk-ass puppet master."

-Both men look at the viewer/Puppet-Master.

Bronze Tiger: "Yeah, that explains everything. The hell with being played like this, I'm outta' here. And if I ever catch you manipulating me again, I'm gonna' show you why you always bet on black!"

Bronze Tiger: "Damn! he did it again!"

Spider-Man: "It happens." Shrugs shoulder


I know somewhere out there, Omega's just nodding his head, going "Right On!", and "Now why didn't I think of that?"

And on that note, here's a birthday dedication to all you lucky birthday boys and girls out there. Sing us out Stevie!

Peace folks!

9 comments:

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

i was about 8 or 9 when MTV hit the airwaves. MTV and the advent of music videos is about as 80's as it gets. i pretty much grew up on it. i even remember how Adam Sandler and Colin Quinn got their show biz start on that trivia show called Remote Control. nobody knew who either of them were back then. Quinn was a like a co-host (along with kari Wuher, HOT RED HEAD!)while Sandler was this reoccurring character called The Stud Boy.
that was one of your best skits yet with that dialogue between Spidey and BT. why did it never occur to me that Snipes could have been a good live action BT? also, great word play on that posting title! where the Hell has OA1 been lately?

Dale Bagwell said...

@Shlomo, awwww, you're making me blush man:)

Seriously though,thanks for the kind words. Believe it or not, I actually do put some thought into the dialogue, so thanks for the props.

As for BT, I guess I'm as guilty as Spidey for thinking that you could use Wesley Snipes to play most, or all martial arts-oriented heroes, like Black Panther or Bronze Tiger. He just seems like natural choice....well him or Michael Jai White, so.......

I'm not sure who could play Luke Cage off the top of my head, but a much younger Ving Rhames would've been cool.

Yeah, where is Omega at? He hasn't been around for awhile, hell he hasn't even stopped by the house. And after all the trouble I went through to make him that tuna on rye.......

And yes, Kari Wuher was, and probably still is, a smoking, fucking hot woman!
Late night cable soft-porn movies and Sliders proved that:)

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

looks like OA1 is back. didn't catch any of that soft porn with Kari (FUCK!) but i certainly caught plenty of Sliders back in the day. despite the sci-channel like budget it was a great show i really miss it. as for BT i like Michael Jai White but hands down for me it's Roger Cross. he's a big dude with an awesome voice check out one of my earliest SS blog postings: http://suicidesquadtaskforcex.blogspot.com/2010/10/no-question-about-who-should-play.html

Omega Agent1 said...

Fellas, had to take a break and try to find some cos play stuff. After dale called me out over at Shlomo's spot (Hella funny I mmight add) I had to try and find Zatanna and Cheetah.

The post is funny too. The Puppet master, great! Because honkey??? lame word play. Somebody else had to be talking.

Dale Bagwell said...

@Shlomo, just read that post, and yes, I readily concede and agree w/ you 100% that Roger Cross would be freakin' perfect as BT. Hell, those pics you supplied more than makes the argument that he looks like a dead-ringer for Ben Turner.

The ball's in your court DC, but I fully expect you to fumble it.

@Omega, so how'd you pan out man? Any success in your happy hunting?

I probably didn't define who the puppet master was, because he's....well me of course. But I was not going to ham it up and pull a Grant Morrison on Spidey and BT's asses, so that's why it was ambiguous.
Just wanted to clear that one up.

Thanks for stopping by folks; you know how I more than appreciate it.

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

The Shlomo is all knowing my friend. just wait until you see what i have coming up as the week progresses. you may need to go out and buy some extra hand lotion.

Dale Bagwell said...

@Shlomo, ha ha! So if my dominant hand shits the bed, and I have use the other one, you'll compensate me? That'd be cool:)

No, can't wait to see what sweet sweetness you have in store, you know the stuff you can barely get away with without having to put up the explicit warning sign out front right?

Nice.

Wait, you did warn Omega too right? With his new lust-filled mad-on for lady magicians in fishnets and furry chicks, I worry about him:)

Oh, and I saw that custom ROM figure too. Nice. I commented there, you'll see.

Thanks for thinking of me dearly, not queerly:)

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

yeah just saw your comment thanks for visiting over there too. you can probably see now how running both these blogs that get plenty of comment traffic keeps me busy. especially since i like to respond to every body. i fucken hate that when you see blogs where the person running it never bother to reply to comments especially when those comments are questions.
there's a Marvel 80s blog i think that's pretty good but the guy who runs it is kind of a dick that way so i don't hardly ever go there and i certainly don't bother to leave comments even when he has something cool posted.
as for the blogger guidelines thing goes i don't know anything about it but i know a guy from France who had this pretty raunchy blog that was really anti-muslim (not just anti-islamic) terror who got his blog site yanked eventually. aside from the offensive anti-muslim language it had chicks with huge tits, all sorts of different pigs on it and also blown up bodies all the time. it was pretty over the top but i'd be lying if it didn't crack me up sometimes. but that sort of thing is not my style as far as how i express myself.
at any rate, what i got coming up just a bit later this week is gonna be pretty sexy but not quite R rated so i should be ok. i just made it today actually. it was another blog related marathon day between that and all this bullshitting with you guys :)

Dale Bagwell said...

Yeah I feel the exact same way! If somebody takes the time to actually read your blog/post, then unless it's a fucked up response or question, you are kind of(morally)obligated to respond. It's just decent, common courtesy you know?

I'm not naming any names but cough*Googum*cough, cough sometimes does this, but I give him a lot of slack because he actually has an honest to god 9-to-5 job, and doesn't always have the time to respond. Plus he's a friend, so there's that:)
Love ya' Goo!

As for that 80's guy(nice handle huh?) I think I've been over to his site, and might have commented once, but was never super interested by what he had to say.