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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Still hungry.....

I could have sworn that I posted that last skit piece yesterday, but when I went to go check on the comments, it was still listed as being in the draft stage. That's fucking weird!
Anyhoo,

 It wasn't intentional, but here's a sorta sequel to Who's Hungry?

Enjoy folks!

Red Arrow: "Man I'm really hungry! I mean I got a serious case of the munchies after all that pot and heroin I just did. And I really need something to coat my stomach, so I wonder what the hell should I eat.
Hmmm, maybe Mexican."

El Dorado: "Hola Amigo! ?Como esta usted? Looking for some Mexican Senor?"

Red Arrow: "Well yeah, but how did you know?"

El Dorado: "No say, pero how about some nice chicken fajita strips and some of my homemade salsa?"

Red Arrow: "Uhhh yeah, I'll pass El Dorito. I learned my lesson the hard way after the last time I ate something "homemade. I'll tell you what, I'll never eat "homemade Alfredo sauce"from a stranger for drugs ever again! Now vamoose, Va mos! "

El Dorado: "But how about some nice tasty pico de gallo?"


Red Arrow: "Alright, what's next? Hmm, how about some nice Sushi?"

Samurai: "Konichiwa Red Junkie-San. Might I interest you in some nice Sushi?"

Red Arrow: "Yeah sure thing Tojo. Is it homemade?"

Samurai: "But of course Super Heroin-San. The fish are-"

Red Arrow: "Yeah, that's cool Judge Ito. I'll pass."

Samurai: "I am not Judge Ito, I am the honorable Samurai from the Super-Friends!"

Red Arrow: "Sure, sure. And that was how long ago? They only let you in because they had a minority quota to fill, and were hungry for some Tuna rolls. Don't get it twisted Mr. Sulu."

Samurai: "I am not Mr. Sulu! Continue to disrespect me and I will choppy-choppy your pee-pee!"

Red Arrow: "Whatever man. You might as well since it's like a taffy pull anyways."

Twenty minutes later.......
Red Arrow: "Damnit I really hungry! What else is there to eat? I guess I could go Vegan."

Medphyll: "Don't even think about it!"

Red Arrow: "Whaaaaat!?"

Food songs. Lots of 'em around, so might as well go for one obvious one, and one maybe not so obvious.
The obvious one:
"Eat It" by Weird Al

and the not so obvious one:
"Hungry Eyes" by Eric Carmen

Have a good weekend folks!:)

Under the covers

I was just messing around with some pictures I found on the Internet, and decided for the hell of it, to make some captions on them. You see it all the time, so I'm hardly the first person to do this.

In fact, I remember a brief time back in the days of Wizard magazine where they'd do the same thing. They'd take popular or just any old comic cover, and add funny captions to it as part of their Undercover(s) section.

Well here's some humble samples of my own I made while waiting for the sun to come around.

Enjoy:)


or


Then there's this little number that should be full of gay jokes.




Finally, here's an original pic I took last weekend just for the hell of it. I call it "Brokeback Playmobile".



Yeah, I went were:)

I couldn't think of an appropriate song to go with the title of this post, other than "Undercover Angel."
Then it came to me, since this post's about stuff or things not said out front and hidden underneath, The Who's "Behind blue eyes."
 Here's The Who, live in1975, singing "Behind Blue Eyes."

You're welcome:)

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Bum Dentistry

Hey People,
don't you just love rainy days? Well I don't when I need to take pictures, but I was able to get enough to finish this freshly-written skit featuring the Sandman and Venom. I call it my ode to Bum Dentistry:)

Enjoy!

Venom: "Ohh, my achin' tooth!"

Sandman: "What's shakin' killer?"

Venom: "Aww, my tooth hurts. It hurts really, really bad!"

Sandman: "What the hell happened?"

Venom: "I think I overdid it on eating this fatty. They don't call them thick for nothing, oh!"

Sandman: "Haw, haw. That's rich."

Sandman: "So if you're in so much damn pain then why don't you go to a dentist?"

Venom: "Yeah I could genius, except I can't afford the deductible on my health insurance. And to think, they call us criminals."

Sandman: "I hear ya'. Fuckin' shame that one is. Well maybe I can help ya' out."

Venom: "How so?"

Sandman: "Come here!"

Venom: "Whaa!?"


Venom: "Oww! What the fuck did you do that for!?"

Sandman: "Hey, you said you couldn't afford a dentist so I did a little bum-dentistry on ya' myself. Feel better?"

Venom: "Now that you mention it, yeah. You know you enjoyed that right? Especially ever since the time I took a big bite out of you."

Sandman: "Damn right! Now lets go get a beer, and score some broads."

Extra scene:

Bum-Dentistry really does exist. How do I know this? This clip from that funny-ass, yet controversial series of dvds, Bum Fights.
Go to 2:06 for the bum-dentistry part.

or this one, where some guy pulls a homeless woman's tooth out, bum-style!





Monday, August 27, 2012

Odds and Ends

Well I didn't take any new pics or write any new scripts over the weekend, so here's some misc. outtakes and alternative scenes for your enjoyment. Don't worry it's not that bad:)

I'll be back on schedule this week, so..........


Anybody familiar enough with the movie Clerks 2 should know where this scene comes from.


                                 This one's dedicated to Lance Armstrong. Hang in there buddy:)

The next set is a series of variations on the same theme; namely this picture:


An old picture taken of me and Dan, or Captain Boomerang and Pyro, you decide:)
If it's Dan-O and me, you can bet your sweet asses this pic was taken after a weekend of debauchery, koala-mugging, and general naughtiness:)


Speaking of Danny-Boy, he posted recently about Rob Liefield's twitter wars with whoever he decided to attack. Amongst his latest victims were current Bat-scribe Scott Snyder and Marvel's very own info guru, Tom Brevoort.
Here's the link if you're interested in reading the whole thing, including what Liefield wrote to each person.

Personally, I think the whole thing reeks of Liefield trying to divert heat off himself for leaving the books the way that he did. At first, I was on his side since he claimed he left due to heavy editorial interference. Okay, I can buy that, especially with a big publisher like DC. Plus George Perez and other former DC writers/artists basically said the same thing. But then Liefield started go further, claiming DC has no direction with the titles. Okay, I can kinda' see that too. But then he started attacking random DC employees, with whom I'm not aware he previously had any beef with. And then he goes from there. Just crazy man.

The thing I don't get is how he keeps getting re-hired by either of the big two. Somehow his name carries some weight for things he did over 20 years ago, yet he hasn't really done anything amazing or beneficial for the industry on the whole, other than bad art, and poor writing.

I was talking to Googum about this yesterday, as I noted how he must have an extreme case of creative ADHD since he can never seem to stay on one project for very long without getting bored and jumping into/onto some other random project. Like take his own creations for example; he's got Youngblood, which he puts out basically whenever he feels like, but then gets bored with his own stuff and leaves for either of the big 2. Makes no sense. But then he's been like this for years, so its not like its surprising or anything just sad. Especially now that he's gone out of his way to kind of burn the bridges there to both companies. Crazy, just crazy.

Finally, got to give out a shout-out to one of the Five, Omega Agent. Here's the link to his kick-ass Bronze Tiger Custom figure he did. 
The paint job's excellent, as the whole thing really. Mattel needs to take notice, as they got a talented possible future sculptor here.

I'm outta' here........

Friday, August 24, 2012

Who's Hungry?


-Skallok and Medophyll come running in a panic from some unknown destination.....




Skallox: "Oh Jesus...'pant, pant'....Oh Jesus, oh sweet, sweet Jesus! I can't believe we made it!"

Medphyll: "Yeah, 'pant', for a minute there....'pant'...I thought we goners."

Hal Jordan: "Whoa fellas. What the hell happened to you guys?"

Skallox: "We were chased down by a bunch of weird, hungry aliens. The first one was living planet who called himself Ego. Then another one was a tall blue and purple humanoid called Galactus."

Hal Jordan: "Who? What?"

Medphyll: "Yeah, and the big blue and purple guy had a shiny, flying metal creature who worked for him chasing us down."

Hal Jordan:"Wait, how do you know that shiny guy was for this Galactus?"

Skallox: "Because you idiot, he was throwing barbecue sauce on me, and ranch dressing on poor Medphyll over here!"

Hal Jordan: "What!? Now why would someone do that?"

Skallox: "I just said, because Galactus wanted to eat us you ass! Eat us! Barbecue sauce for me because I look like a walking rack of ribs, and ranch dressing on Medphyll because he's made out of fucking broccoli!"

Hal Jordan: "Hmmm, yeah I guess that makes sense. Man, you know all this talk about food sure's making me hungry. So who's hungry guys? I'm buying."

Skallox and Medphyll: "Grrrrrr!"

-And elsewhere, in another part of the distant galaxy......


or




Classic Hal huh guys?
This skit was heavily based off this old Muppet Show sketch. The one where the Gill brothers sing "Aunt Chovy."
Some guy in the audience was waiting for them with Tartar Sauce:) Classic.

Have a good weekend people........

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I sentence you to.....SuperJail!

So I was flipping through the channels late last night, and happened to stumble upon a show I haven't seen in a long time, Superjail.

What's Superjail?



Superjail's a funny ass show on the Cartoon Network during Adult Swim hours that features tons and tons of funny gratuitous violence that's mostly aimed at criminals. "Say what?" you ask.

Allow me to explain, or you can go to this link @ Wikipedia.org.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superjail

Naww, I'll tell you. Basically, imagine Willy Wonka, on crack, as a warden of a super-maximum prison, filled with billions of inmates.

Now imagine that this giant prison is built on top a huge fucking volcano, built on top of another volcano. Nice huh?

Trust me, you need to watch the crazy-ass intro to the show just to get a small glimpse of what'to expect.

The main cast of characters are:

The Warden, his assistant Jared, Alice, the manly-looking main security guard, The Doctor, a German doctor psychopath who conducts crazy ass experiments on the inmates, and finally the most bad-ass of the bad-ass,



Jailbot.
Yeah, that robot. His or its main function is to put down any riots or civil unrest from the inmates, not to mention whatever various problems or situations that occur. And trust me weird shit happens at that jail all the time!

And then there's the inmates.
Among the more regularly featured ones are:

The twins, Paul Guaye and Jean Baptiste Le Ghei, who are two gay inmates that were leaders of rival gay biker gangs who met up in prison and got married. Funny shit there. And then there's Ash, who's a severely burned pyromaniac. He's a big mess of crazy himself who's had some funny moments himself
 on the show. 


Here's a clip from one of them where he befriended a girl with terminal cancer. The funny thing was that he thought Cancer was her name, and lovingly called her Can-cer. Well this clip's from when Ash sings to her after she, you know, kicks the bucket. Funny shit.
I love that the artwork is crude, like Beavis and Butthead crude, but it works. It's like looking at the crazy, deranged drawings of some angry kid in middle school.

If you're even the slightest bit interested, go youtube this one quick.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Crying Game

Hey People, What's up?

Today I got a funny skit that's fresh off the presses. I mean this shit's red hot!


Enjoy:)

Namor: "Run Surface-Dwellers! Run for your miserable lives! Know that this day you've incurred the wraith of Namor the Sub-Mariner, prince and son of Atlantis!"

-Surface-dwellers run for their fucking lives!

Iron Man: "Hey Namor. How's it hanging Captain Spock?"

Namor: "I'll never understand your surface slang, but if you must know Stark, I shall flood your city and wipe out the entire lot of you insufferable surface-dwellers!"

Iron Man: "What for this time? And it better be good"

Namor: "Because the Son of Atlantis has been besmirched most foul! I, and I alone, should rightfully be the next villain to face the Avengers in the sequel, not that poor man's Darkseid lunatic, Thanos."

Iron Man: "But you're a good guy, a hero. Well you are technically, especially if you go ahead an ignore that whole Avs.X debacle. Besides, why would you want to play a villain anyway? You know you'll just lose anyway."

Namor: "Trust me, a role's a role. Ever since Obamacare started, I've had to shell out some major doubloons to cover my loyal subjects' healthcare costs. And daddy needs to make some serious bank, as you surface-dwellers say."

Iron Man: "Uh, Obamacare huh? But you're a king, why in the hell would Obamacare matter to you?"

Namor: "It does for the purpose of this skit you fool!"

Iron Man: "Fair enough."

Namor: "Besides, I'm much more talented and handsome than that silly human Tom Middleton anyway. That talent-less hack can suck on my Atlantean Balls!"

Iron Man: "Yeah, that's a pleasant mental image. Yeesh!"

Namor: "Besides, I was going to takeover the surface world next Tuesday anyway."

Iron Man: "Gotcha. But seriously though, do you even have any acting experience?"

Namor: Fool! Of course Prince Namor does."

-Namor flashes back to his prior movie "experience."


Director: "Alright we need to stay on budget and knock this last scene out. C'mon Subby baby. I know we've been here for hours but we're almost done. Let's get that money shot okay? Places everyone, and action!"

Grip Boy: "Slippery When Wet money shot scene, take 25! Action!"
Random porn guy: "Hello, I have a package for a Imma Queerbait. You---Sweet Larry Flynn! Dear Penthouse, it all started out innocently one day..."

Namor: "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and damn right it's better than yours; damn right it's better than yours..... Wahhhh, wahhh, huhh."

Director: "This is great! Keep going Subby-baby! Don't go soft on me now!
Close up on Namor man, close up!"

Random porn guy:"Ohh, your skins' so soft!"

-Namor cries due to shame for having to do porn to make it in Hollywood.

Iron Man: "So, have I seen any of our movie lately?"
Namor: "Nope, don't think so. Dear Poseidon I hope not. *Sob*"

Ha ha! Now when you read that faux-porn scene this is how I imagine it going down:


And the kicker? The background music to the whole thing is either the Culture Club's "Do you really want to hurt me?" or Boy George's solo hit, "The Crying Game."

You decide.

I'm outta' here.........