Tuesday, April 17, 2012

"I'm not that innocent"

Today's skit features Alex Ross's favorite superhero Firestorm(cue sarcasm) and his really other favorite suphero, Captain Marvel/Shazam. Let's see what trouble these two get into shall we?

Firestorm: "Let me get this straight, so basically you're a 10 year-old boy stuck in the body of a ridiculously super-powered, full-grown man right?"

Captain Marvel: "Basically, yeah."

                           Firestorm: "So then you're like a fucked up version of the movie BIG. And you say that you got your powers by a dirty old man who lives in a tunnel underneath the subway?"

                          Captain Marvel: "Uh yeah, but I don't think I like where you're going with this."

                          Firestorm: "Dude, that's just totally fucked up right there!"

                          Captain Marvel: "No it's not you pervert! It's completely innocent and wholesome."

                              Firestorm: "Whatever you say Brittany Spears. I'm just saying, you're lucky you got super-powers and not raped, plus a one-time ad on a milk carton."

                             Captain Marvel: "Oh, because being a walking nuclear reactor who shares body with a unemployed physics professor is so much better right?"
                             Firestorm: "Talk to the hand because the hand doesn't talk back!"


Dan said...

As the hero who is part old man school professor Firestorm is really lucky Marvel's not of a name callin' mind!

As for the line "I'm just saying, you're lucky you got super-powers and not raped, plus a one-time ad on a milk carton" not even Dr Phil can be that honest. I'll never look at Cap's old origin the same...

Dale Bagwell said...

Ha ha! Glad you like that one Dan. And yes not even(but possibly) Dr. Phil could be that honest.

googum said...

Hey, back when Marvel was introduced, kids in comics were practically encouraged to go off with strangers, punch Nazis, and wear uncomfortably short pants. So at least he got off easy on one of those.

Somehow, even if the wizard Shazam had lured Billy into a van and told him to drink some wine coolers; it probably still wouldn't be as bad as his new origin.

Dale Bagwell said...

-Goo, you're right on that one. Despite how well Johns wraps the new origin up in the pretty art of Gary Frank, the new origin just doesn't work. And while I did make fun of the current one, it did work for its time, so why change it DC?

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