Pyro's Top Ten Fire-Themed Songs

Fresh off the presses folks,
it's Pyro's Top Ten favorite songs about Fire....and olddly enough Pyromania did not make it on the list.

The End

Not a bad list. Sure he missed a few...

-"We Didn't Start The Fire"

-"St.Elmo's Fire"

-"Eternal Flame"

-"Hot Child In The City"

etc...

                                                       .....but I wouldn't hold it against him;)

                                                                                Extra:

Fire Hazard

Just to get you guys in the mood for today's skit, I provided a little soundtrack that'll get you in the right frame of mind, courtesy of the Ohio Players and their hit single "Fire". So sit back and take a listen.

Don't mind me, I'll wait for ya'.

Okay, you ready? Good.

Firestorm: "Uh, should we be you know, standing next to each other? I figured we both might blow up or something if we're standing too close together."

Pyro: "Bugger if I care mate. That's why I'm a super-villain, so's I don't have to follow any bleeding rules or orders as such. Like my dad used to say, No rules, just right!"

Firestorm: "Uh, I think that's the slogan for Outback Stackhouse you're referring to."

Pyro: "You calling me ol' man a Jack of tall tales? That he ain't dinkum? You bloody angora! I outta' burn ya' damn lips off!"

Firestorm: "What the hell are you talking about? And who's a jack a what? And I'm pretty sure I don't have an angora; I have a penis thank you very much. Although now that I think about it, I do have an Aunt Flora... I think. Anyways, learn to speak English man! Maybe that's why you get into so many fights."

Pyro: "Piss off ya' bloody wanker!"

Captain Atom: "Hey guys what's up?"

Firestorm: "Okay, now we should be worried."

Bonus Scene:

Firestorm: "Hey! Those are mine! Give 'em back!"

Captain Atom: "Sorry soldier but I just bought a timeshare for these babies, and I aim to get my money's worth."

Firestorm: "Doh!"

So how'd I do Dan? I think I'm slowly, but surely getting the hang of Australian slang. Of course being able to look this shit up on the internets(yes internets for you Prince fans) makes things super easy for me.

One of the words I just happened to see, is Liquid Laugh. That's Aussie slang for vomiting/puking. I had a good laugh myself off of that one.

Speaking of puking, here's a funny little embrassing personal story of mine:

I was in 4th grade at the time, and me and some classmates were talking about different colored-boobs. Yeah I know, real highbrow stuff for a 10 yr-old. Don't ask me how we got on that topic but we did. So we all start to get really ridiculous by just calling out different colors of boobs, again real highbow stuff here.

So I start laughing, and laughing, all while eating big bites of pizza in-between all this. Well I laugh so hard, I forget to swallow, and I start choking. The really messed up part is, I was laughing and choking at the same time, because for some fucked up reason, I was too damn amused by the image of different-colored breasts, to stop and deal with me choking. So from there I proceeded to puke, and I mean puke hardcore, all the while I'm still laughing my ass off! Everybody at the table scattered like roaches when you turn on the lights, and quickly moved away from the colorful, liquid pyrotechnics shooting out of my mouth. What's funny is they were  both disgusted, yet were laughing at me, and I was laughing at myself and the brightly-colored boobs too!

After that a kind custodian saw what was going on, took me outside, and performed the Heimlich maneuver on me.

I was fine after that, and even got a free 2nd lunch to boot. And you know what? I still laughed even after all that. Yeah, what can I say, I was a silly ,stupid kid back then, except now I'm just a silly, stupid man.

And that was one of many adventures I had while doing the liquid laugh. Literally!

Have a good weekend folks, and please don't laugh and puke at the same time. It's not for everyone!

Short-Shots 2:Attack of the Son of Short-Shot....

Hey People,
having a bitch of a time with my internet, so excuse the delays.

I've had a hell of a weekend, and not the good kind of hell either! I won't bore you guys with the details, because if you wanted to hear/read someone moping about how unfair life is, you'd simply listen to an emo music channel or something. Suffice to say, life isn't and leave it at that.

Someone said "Life is a shit sandwich sometimes, and we all have to take a big bite and swallow." Truer words have never been spoken.

But enough with all that, you came here for the funny(I hope), so let's get to it.

The 1st short skit features the two Batmen I have, the Detective version, and the GA version. I've been wanting to do this particular skit for awhile, but just now got off my lazy ass to make it. Enjoy.

Batman: "Time for bed young man. You have to hit the books hard in the morning, plus your early morning workout."

Robin: "Awwww, but Bruuuce. I don't want to go to bed early. I think I'm old enough to stay up to 10:00pm now, don't you think?"

Batman: "You heard me Dick. Time for bed."

Robin: "Gosh darnnit! Green Arrow lets Roy stay up late."

Batman: "And that's why Roy's doing so well now as a drooling, drugged-up idiot."

Robin: "You're a drooling idiot!"

Batman: "What was that?"

Robin: "Nothing"

GA Batman: "Bruce, it's way past your bedtime young man. "

Batman: "Awwww, but daaaaaad. You said I could stay up late tonight!"

GA Batman: "No buts young man, or else I'll spank yours. Off to bed with you now."

Robin: "Ha ha. You have to go to bed early too."

Batman: "Shut it Dick!"

And finally, here's a skit Dan can get behind, mostly because it's filled with his two favorite fellow Aussies:

Captain Boomerang: "Oi ya' wallaby-lovin', fire-startin' Billy. How the hell are ya'?"

Pyro: "Well if it isn't my favorite bludgerin' bluey? How are ya' ya' damn bogan you? Going to chuck a sickie are ya?"

-Now Imagine furbies, but speaking Austrailan. Yes, it's still gibberish you can't understand. But it's worse. It's with an accent. That's these two.

Cap'n Boomerang: "Come on ya' cockie, let's go out for a coldie."

Pyro: "Can we go to the nearby Outback Steakhouse you reckon?"

Cap'n Boomerang: "Now why would wanna' go to that piss-poor place you silly dag you? They ain't even a proper dinkin Australian restaurant."

Pyro: "I know. That's why I want to go there and burn the whole place to the ground, right along with all those stupid bloody gits! I'll cock a fat watching those bloody yanks burn to death. Well that and the bloomin onion. Amazing appetizer it is."

Cap'n Boomerang: "That's what I like about you Pyro ya' crazy dunny rat. You're always good for a laugh. But now that you mention it, a bloomin' onion and a right mug of Fosters' is right what the doctor ordered."

Both men singing at the same time:

"We come from the land down under. Where women glow and men plunder? 

Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? 
You better run, you better take cover." 

And no, I didn't cock a fat when I thought of you Dan. Damn you Aussies have some weird fucking slang! I swear man......