Jesus Fucking Christ Hal.....

Sure Hal, sure. That's what ALL pedophiles/child molesters and members of NAMBLA say.

Seriously, what the hell was DC thinking letting a such scandalous and potentially character-damaging storyline like this be allowed to be printed?

You can definitely file this under the tagline of my old features, What The Fuck Where They Thinking!?

Speaking of pedos, I don't know if you guys have seen this or not, but Vice News (of the Vice Network) tweeted a video of Sasha Baron Cohen (Borat, Ali G) interviewing Alabamian judge Republican Roy Moore.

What makes the interview so noteworthy (Cohen has a parody show called Where In America?) is how Cohen tricked Moore into the interview in order to fuck with him and call him a pervert without directly coming out and saying it.

Check it out:

HA! GOT 'EM!!!!!

No Excuses

Sounds legit to me 'cause, why wouldn't Hal use a perfectly good excuse like that if he were facing a Sexual harassment suit?;)

Ok, so I don't know if you guys were already aware of this, but comic creator Darwyn Cooke died over the weekend after losing a long battle with cancer. He was only 53, so basically he died young.

It's more than a damn shame, it's a genuine loss of a real talent and a true comic fan, which showed in all his works.

To this day, my favorite work of his is the New Frontier, because he made me fall in love with his retro rendition of the Justice League, especially when the animated adaptation came out. It just hit on all the reasons why I grew up a JL fan, and why at the time, I was sorely wanting his version to be THE main current version of the League at the time. 

To say he'll be missed, is a colossal understatement, but as with many creators who have died before their time, he'll have plenty of company up there somewhere.

Forgot to mention last week how before I bought the ML Black Widow figure, I broke down and bought the Sharon Carter ML figure in order to complete my Red Onslaught BAF. 

Well he is completed, and I damn sure love 'em....as much as you can love a giant Nazi, even if he's a toy.

Anyhoo, feeling impatient as usual for the next wave of Civil War figured to show up locally, I just bought Nuke and the Red Guardian off Amazon. Ah, good ol' Amazon. I'd be lost without you.

I gotta' tell yeah, I absolutely love both of them!!!! Nuke's got that cool Brock Lesnar face with another cool alt head and weapons. He's like a giant 6 and some change-inch, whacked out, psycho GI Joe.

 And Red Guardian's just as cool, with the nice finish on his shield. It'd have been nice if he'd been given another pair of hands, but figure-wise I'm more than pleased.

Just a friendly word of warning though, you might wanna' wait for the movie version Black Panther figure to hit stores near you, as he's going for a bill payment or two online, thanks to scalpers.

So yeah, I know I'm waiting.

So Who Would Win?: Hal Jordan VS. Alan Scott

What's up people?

Figured I'd play around with the order of of when these columns usually come out. That's what today's edition of So Who Would Win? is early this week.

Ever since I became aware of there being another actual Green Lantern around from the reprinted pages of  Green Lantern DC Blue Ribbon Digest#4, I became fascinated by one, Alan Scott.

I didn't know until then, that he was the Golden Age Green Lantern back in the day, and basically was the basis for the then modern incarnation in Hal.

Years later, and I'm stuck wondering who really was the better GL? Alan or Hal?
From what I remember outside of that initial fight between the two, there hasn't really been a knockdown, drag-out fight with them. I think during Mark Waid's Brave and Bold: Green Lantern and Flash mini-series, there was one issue where a fight was teased, but never followed though on.

So, for the purpose of this imaginary fight I'm placing both Hal and Alan in their prime: so chronologically (1938-1951) for Alan; (1960-1990) for Hal.
I'm also including Hal's old weakness to yellow, and Alan's to wood(which is very hilarious when you consider his NU52 incarnation;)

And this is the strictly pre-NU52 versions of these characters by the way.

So.......

Alan Scott.

VS.


Hal Jordan.

Who Wins and Why?
Let me know who you think walks away from this one as the "Ultimate" Green Lantern.

Hal's about some humility?

Happy Hump Day!!!!

Hope you got some or are getting some;)

An offer I wrote about some weeks and weeks ago still stands;
if you have a guest column/article you want to write about, and it fits the whacky-ass requirements of this blog,
then by all means don't hesitate to ask/tell me what you want to do.

Just saying.......


And now onto today's skit............

The End

Poor Hal. He just never learns does he? He's like Captain Kirk that way sometimes.....that and the fucking of any interstellar race that looks mildly attractive enough to fuck.

Back-Issue Spotlight:Green Lantern#0

Yep, it's Friday, and today I was bored and figured what the hell. So here's this week's edition of Back-Issue Spotlight after all, with today's pick being one of my favorite Issue Zero's to come out of Zero Hour back in '94: Green Lantern#0.

This issue, unlike some of the others that were just included as a cheap gimmick to boast sales, actually matters since it follows directly after the conclusion of Zero Hour.

If you remember that far back, After Parallax/Hal get shot right in the fucking chest by lifelong buddy Green Arrow, him and Kyle are basically locked out of time when Waverider reboots the universe.

Well this issue opens up with both spiraling outside of time, until Parallax is able to latch onto Waverider's signal, and they both land on Oa, home of he then very dead Guardians.

Parallax/Hal wants to recharge, and decides the best way to do that is by sucking up the remaining residual energy that's still floating around Oa.

It doesn't work out though, since Hal realizes he needs a ring to tap into the energies. Kyle bravely fights all the way, trying his best to keep him from achieving his twisted goals.

They keep fighting until Hal breaks down, after seeing Kilowog skull. They then start talking about just how hard it is being a Green Lantern, with Kyle bringing up his dead girlfriend Alex, and how much he still missed her.

Hal actually convinces Kyle to give him his GL ring and let him be Green Lantern again. Kyle does, saying "Yeah well, probably bound to happen sooner or later." 

Try 10 more years later there Kyle.

Hal gets his old ring back, and goes back to trying to tap the energies in Oa. This prompts Kyle to have a sudden change of heart, and then the shit is back on, but this time Kyle's powerless.

Hal chases Kyle through a crypt/mausoleum for dead Lanterns which is creepily illustrated by Daryl Banks, where Kyle dumps a dead Lantern onto Hal, pinning to the ground. Kyle quickly grabs his ring back, and the shit is back on.

But rather then go back to Rocky and Apollo Creed round 74, Kyle quickly and smartly, decides to blow up Oa so Parallax/Hal can't steal those remaining residual energies.

Oa goes boom, and both of them look like they didn't make it. Except when we see Kyle emerge unscathed from the gigantic blast.

Writer Ron Marz(speaking through Kyle) goes on to make a point to say Kyle's the new Green Lantern now, and that's how things are going be for the near future, so deal with it old school Hal fans. Or something like that;)

I remember at the time having mixed reactions to what DC did with Hal, with his heel turn and all.

On one side it was interesting and was a much needed boast to sales, plus Kyle was, and still is, pretty likable. 

But on the other hand, it was the way they replaced Hal that most likely was(and could still be) a source of anger and hate towards Kyle. Marz tried his best to flesh out a believable explanation for a very shitty editorial-mandated decision. I think he did okay with what he had to work with, justifying Hal's actions as being tired of the Guardians being dicks to him despite his unwavering loyalty and then with the utter and complete destruction of his home town, Coast City.

It wasn't too far-fetched, but again, it was ultimately the way it was done that just left a bad taste in everyone's mouths.

But of course all is well again, and Hal's back again, even with the introduction of a brand new Green Lantern in Simon Baz. So far so good on how Johns' handled him, and with a new creative team taking over, hopefully that will continue.

Hey, like I said, how a good weekend people;)

Hal-Plicity

What's up people?

Well today is officially my 300th post. Yep, it's been interesting a wild ride in getting up to this point, so I hope you've all enjoyed what you seen and read so far. I promise to continue on with the usual slack-assery and smart-assery for at least 300 more;)

Anybody check out last weekend's DC Nation block?
Not bad huh?

I have to say, I really enjoyed the "Steam Lantern" episode, what with all the steampunk stuff and all. Oh, and who managed to figure out which mysterious guy in a red shirt and cape also managed to escape that world that world was? For some odd reason I couldn't think of who it was, and it wasn't until Googum, was like "duh! Alan Scott", that it actually dawned on me. Duh exactly;)

Young Justice also continued it's usual streak of awesomeness, with the steaks being raised even higher now that Miss Martian knows all about the secret undercover mission involving Superboy, Nightwing, Artemis, Kid Flash, and Aqualad. It'll be damn interesting to see what happens next, once MM gets over her shock of what she did and saw.

The animated shorts were also pretty decent. I would've loved to have seen the continuation of the whole "Sword of the Atom" story, so maybe later down the line we will. I will say the bit with Black Lightning's kids was kinda' cute.

Also who else beside me watched the Amethyst short and thought "Now this is what they should've done for the reboot!" Trust me, the way the DC animators handled and re-did this concept is much better than how it is now. Think about it, it'd have made more sense to have gone in this direction, especially with the supposed targeting of the tween/twilight audience. I know it would suck, but I say scrap the current hideous direction in favor of this one. I'm telling you, that animated version is the way to go!

Oh well.......


And now, on with the show as we take a look/brief review of the many Hal Jordan figures I own.........

Kinda' like that title of that of that famous book by Dr. Seuss, "Oh, the places you'll see" huh?

Have a good one..........