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Monday, June 04, 2012

Short-Shots 2:Attack of the Son of Short-Shot....

Hey People,
having a bitch of a time with my internet, so excuse the delays.

I've had a hell of a weekend, and not the good kind of hell either! I won't bore you guys with the details, because if you wanted to hear/read someone moping about how unfair life is, you'd simply listen to an emo music channel or something. Suffice to say, life isn't and leave it at that.

Someone said "Life is a shit sandwich sometimes, and we all have to take a big bite and swallow." Truer words have never been spoken.

But enough with all that, you came here for the funny(I hope), so let's get to it.

The 1st short skit features the two Batmen I have, the Detective version, and the GA version. I've been wanting to do this particular skit for awhile, but just now got off my lazy ass to make it. Enjoy.

Batman: "Time for bed young man. You have to hit the books hard in the morning, plus your early morning workout."

Robin: "Awwww, but Bruuuce. I don't want to go to bed early. I think I'm old enough to stay up to 10:00pm now, don't you think?"

Batman: "You heard me Dick. Time for bed."

Robin: "Gosh darnnit! Green Arrow lets Roy stay up late."

Batman: "And that's why Roy's doing so well now as a drooling, drugged-up idiot."

Robin: "You're a drooling idiot!"

Batman: "What was that?"

Robin: "Nothing"

GA Batman: "Bruce, it's way past your bedtime young man. "

Batman: "Awwww, but daaaaaad. You said I could stay up late tonight!"

GA Batman: "No buts young man, or else I'll spank yours. Off to bed with you now."

Robin: "Ha ha. You have to go to bed early too."

Batman: "Shut it Dick!"

And finally, here's a skit Dan can get behind, mostly because it's filled with his two favorite fellow Aussies:

Captain Boomerang: "Oi ya' wallaby-lovin', fire-startin' Billy. How the hell are ya'?"

Pyro: "Well if it isn't my favorite bludgerin' bluey? How are ya' ya' damn bogan you? Going to chuck a sickie are ya?"

-Now Imagine furbies, but speaking Austrailan. Yes, it's still gibberish you can't understand. But it's worse. It's with an accent. That's these two.

Cap'n Boomerang: "Come on ya' cockie, let's go out for a coldie."

Pyro: "Can we go to the nearby Outback Steakhouse you reckon?"

Cap'n Boomerang: "Now why would wanna' go to that piss-poor place you silly dag you? They ain't even a proper dinkin Australian restaurant."

Pyro: "I know. That's why I want to go there and burn the whole place to the ground, right along with all those stupid bloody gits! I'll cock a fat watching those bloody yanks burn to death. Well that and the bloomin onion. Amazing appetizer it is."

Cap'n Boomerang: "That's what I like about you Pyro ya' crazy dunny rat. You're always good for a laugh. But now that you mention it, a bloomin' onion and a right mug of Fosters' is right what the doctor ordered."

Both men singing at the same time:

"We come from the land down under. Where women glow and men plunder? 
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? 
You better run, you better take cover." 


And no, I didn't cock a fat when I thought of you Dan. Damn you Aussies have some weird fucking slang! I swear man......






4 comments:

Dan said...

Lol it's cop a fat mate, your versions a little too direct ;-) Other than that you've used Aussie slang better then pretty much anywhere I've read or seen lol and in the right way too. Nice job.

I take the mick out of the aussies way of talking here too and they take a few stabs at my kiwi accent, but they forget theres a whole country of them for me to laugh at!

As for Men at Work songs.....

Hope youre going ok mr! Remember planes to ozzie depart daily ;-)

Dale Bagwell said...

Ha ha, yeah you're right Dan. I really did get the first part of that wrong. You can tell where my mind's at.
This is the link to one of the websites I went to to look up Aussie slang:
http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

And here's the proper term, at least according to them:
Crack a fat : get an erection
So it's that, and for some reason I thought it said cock. Nice. Hurray for me right?:)

Glad you enjoyed it, and approve of the slang. I'm just going to have to trust you on that:)

And thanks for the invite. I swear if I had the money, we'd be hanging out laughing at them together. Then I'd mug a koala and get eaten by a croc.

Dan said...

Well koalas are pretty darn mugable - but hey after a few beers even boxing with kangaroos seems a decent idea!

Dale Bagwell said...

Ha ha. I bet. Crockey's