Thursday, June 28, 2012

"Angel of the morning"

Quickly counting down to my 200th post. I should reach that by the 1st or 2nd week of July, so yea me:)

If you're not familiar with today's title, you should be. It's from singer Juice Newton and her classic 80's hit "Angel of the morning." Duh!

Here's what it sounds like, just in case it doesn't quite ring a bell"

Not bad huh?

And she has a hell of a voice to boot! Oh and that name is fucking awesome. If she wasn't a singer, I'd swear she was a pornstar. "Juice" Newton indeed!

Hey just consider it my unofficial mission to enlighten and teach you good folks some musical history.
Your welcome.

And now on to today's skit. Enjoy bitches:)

Maash: "Oh my achin' heads! What the hell happened last night?"

Low: "Hey cutie! That was soooome night last night huh?"

Maash: "Uh yeah, yeah. My heads are still pounding! I think I drank way too much last night."

Low: "Well don't worry sexy, because my ass is sore too after the pounding you gave me."
(touching Maash's ass)
Maash: "Whaaaaat!? You can't be serious!? I'm not gay!"

Low: "Well you coulda fooled me sexy. Although after all that pillow-talk, you weren't saying much except how that was the best ****job you ever had, and how much you loved me. Don't you remember?"

Maash: "Duh! I was drunk man! I'm not gay either, so can we just forget last night ever happened, because I'd very much like too."

-Starts crying.
Low: "Sniff, mom always warned me about giving my heart and ass to a pretty face. And she was so right. Bwahhhhhh! Just call me Angel of the morning, angel. Just touch my cheek before you leave me, darling. Sob."


Angel: "Is this thing on? Yeah, okay then. Yeah Angel, founding member of the X-Men here. And no I don't endorse this skit. It's not because of the Juice Newton-inspired title, because, hey, I like a little Juice Newton every no and then. And no, it's not because of the gays. Hey I like gay people. I even let a few of them design some of my last costumes obviously. Hell even Iceman's gay. Well, at least I think he is. It's hard to tell sometimes, so I'll just go with a yes to be on the safe side. 

No, I'm pissed because the title has Angel in it, but I'm not the main star of the skit. So, you guys should really be paying me royalties to use my name. And yes I did trademark the name "Angel", thus why I'm owed royalties. Hey I'm rich; I'm supposed to be a dick. Deal with it."


Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

oh yeah i remember that Jew Newton song. that was one great fucken power ballad from my child hood. speaking of music i know we've had our musical differences about the Chilli Peppers. but fuck that for now i just found this on my friend's blog. guess where they're going to be playing later this year for the first time? and as usual with musicians who pick this venue they got hammered by the haters to not play there but they're going to any ways so they've got my respect. check this out asap!

by the way there was so much great shit in your comments it would take me all night to over all the points. did you have the day off today or something where did you find the time to write all that?

Dale Bagwell said...

I actually thought of all 8 of those while on the can, "taking care of business" if you can believe that:)

The last two I had to scramble and think of while typing the list out, so go me:)

And then I had to type out today's little ditty, except the dialogue was already written down, so I all I had to do was the special FX tears photo-shop job for the next to last pic.

Glad you enjoyed them, and are such a good sport about it. As I and Head Roaster of the Friar's Club, Jeffrey Ross says, "You only roast the ones you love." Or something like that. Yeah, I think I'll stick with that one:)

I look forward to a reprisal, so make it good Sholmo, or else.....:)

Dale Bagwell said...

By the way, any truth to those possible statements? Inquiring minds would like to know.

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

Dale i don't think i'll be able to counter strike with a full barrage of jabs at ya. with these blogs and the other shit i have to deal with i'm stretched pretty thin time wise. there's still a lot of fall out i'm dealing with from some shit that went down earlier this year among other things. did you take a look at the link in my other comment?

Dale Bagwell said...

Ha, no worries man, I bet.

Good for the Peppers to do that, as I'm sure, unless I'm mistaken that particular part of the world doesn't see a lot of good rock acts come their way. Of course to be honest, I don't blame people for not jumping to go over to the middle east. I know I wouldn't since there's always some war or bullshit violent terror attacks always going on over there.

Which is a shame because I hear the dead sea is great for your skin and the food pretty good. If there was true peace in the middle east, I suspect a huge rise in tourism and capital to occur, but until then.......

Omega Agent1 said...

Low, and Mash, hmmmmm. Morning looks bad but last night had to be down right ugly.

Really though these were two of the best figures that came from the DC Universe classics line.

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

the Middle East makes up a large portion of the Earth's land mass so we're talking about a lot of area that the news doesn't pertain to. but that doesn't mean i'd want to be in syria right now. there is a constant state of alertness in Israel but aside from that you'd be surprised how normal things are there and not at all different then around here. besides, you haven't seen hot until you've seen Israeli women on the beach in bikini like swim suites and an M-16 slung around their backs. this one time i was at a house party and these two chicks who had just gotten out of the army and were pretty hammered started doing some krav maga play fighting. oh man it was so hot!
Krav Maga is a specialized form of Israeli martial arts specifically for battle field conditions. it deals mostly with close combat fighting in particular in how to disarm someone who may have any number of steal edge weapons or a gun. it also involves a lot of wrestling since hand to hand combat on the battle filed often turns into a grappling match. there's some elements of Jew jitsu and karate with an emphasis on fighting multiple opponents at the same time. some real bad ass shit!
the Dead Sea was pretty cool you just have to remember not to try and swim in it, just float. you start trying to swim in it and your eyes will feel like someone poured pepper spray in em. the water is like taking a bath kinda warm year round. also, it's good have some kind of sandles or flip flops. the water isn't surrounded by sand. it's solidified salt deposits. walking on it with bare feet almost feels like walking on broken glass. almost all Israelis speak English pretty well and the younger ones really seem to like a lot of reggae and hip hop along with our movies and TV shows. they even have their own version of reality shows like American Idol and crap like Big Brother. the Pride Parade they just had there is even bigger then the one in SF. so as you see aside from all the ancient sites there being in Israel is an experience quite different from what you get on the news. in many ways Israel is so much like America in so many ways most people don't know but of course it's quite unique too. an all around special place that's why i fight for it in my own way over here.

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

Dale, i sent you an email at 4 PT from a different email account. yeah i'd rather be writing blog postings then worrying about picking up the soap. or doing community service for that matter which i'm i'll be finished with tomorrow. you see either way Dale the "justice system" is gonna give to you. first in the wallet and then in the ass.

"Get Snakey"

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