Monday, July 02, 2012

Flair for the gold

Welcome to the first post of the new month. I promise to put on a hell of a show for you today,
so enjoy

Speaking of fun, you recognize this commercial?

Yeah I know, I know. God bless him though, as he's still going, living like it's 1986 and he's on top of the world. Of course if it really was 1986 again, that still wouldn't be enough time to for him to save up money to pay off  the millions.....and millions, he owes the in back taxes to the IRS. Sad but true.

Anyways, as is the custom here at the House of Fun, I parody the shit out these unintentionally funny commercials as only I can.

I dare you not to laugh.......

Trigon: "Whew! Man, looking for my other arm and leg is really taking a lot out of me. I need to drink some blood quick, or sacrifice some of those delightful crack babies everyone's raving about, because I am tired."

Things look bleak for Trigon until all of a sudden......


Ric Flair(God): "Woooooo! The souls of those poor little crack babies wouldn't drain themselves. Here, why don't you drink this energy shot and get that blood and demonic energy pumping again. It really puts the wooooooo! in my WOOOOOO!

Don't forget to to spay and neuter your kids! Wooooooo!"

Trigon: "I don't know what the hell that was all about, but now I'll be able to find the rest of me and conquer this pitiful planet and all its dimensions in no time. Thank you Ric Flair. You lovable broke bastard! Wooo indeed ."

Elsewhere we find.......

Iron Man: "Hic', Uh, uh, Harmpfhhfh! Oh, oh God! That was worse than the last one! G**damn Matt Fraction for costing me my hard-fought sobriety and making me a stinking drunk again! I swear, when I find him I'm going to repulsor blast his fucking face right off! Hurmph! 
Oh, uh, I think it just came out of both ends! Rhodey! Rhodey! Come quick and clean me up. I just had an accident in my suit. Oh, god the smell...."

And then all of a sudden.....


Iron Man: "Oh no!"

Ric Flair: "Wooooo! Hello Tony. Looks like you're in need of a serious pick me up champ."

Iron Man: "Oh Steve Jobs no! Not you again! Last time we partied together, you out drank me and stole all the women."

-It's true kids he did!

Ric Flair: "Here, drink my new and improved energy shot. One drink of my energy shot, and you'll be back to pounding those drinks hard , and pounding the women even harder. Wooooooo!"

Iron Man: "Well, fuck it! It's not like my day can get any worse right? Wait what was that? Reboot in the MU? Bendis leaving the Avengers? Noooooooooo!"

Elsewhere again......
Red Arrow: "Ughh man! I'm so wiped out from that last 48 hour Heroin binge while watching that Young Justice marathon, that I don't have enough energy left in me to shot up my last batch."

Then suddenly......


Red Arrow: "Whaa!?"

Ric Flair: "Wooooo!  What's the matter little Brother, got Iced again? 

Red Arrow: "Uh yeah, you can say that."

Ric Flair: "Well don't worry, because the 16! 16! 16! 16! 16 time World Heavyweight champion of the world has got just the energy shot for you. After drinking a shot of this, you'll be ready to get back on the horse again. Woooooo!

Red Arrow: "Wow Ric Flair, thanks!"

Ric Flair: "That's right. Drink Ric Flair's energy shot. It puts the woooooo! in my Wooooooo!

Did I ever tell you how me and the 4 Horsemen used to party all night and party a little longer? Woooo! It's true brother."

Red Arrow: "Wait, you and 3 other guys used to do Heroine so much you named yourselves after it? Fuckin' Sweeeeet!"

Red Arrow: "Huh, what!? What the hell just happened? Oh man, I think I just hallucinated that Ric Flair was here. That's weird. Oh well, thanks to that little nap, I can get back to doing what I do best: Shooting......Heroin. Ha, you though I was gonna' say arrows huh? Suckers."



StarryPluto said...

fucking hilarious! LOL Whooooo!

Omega Agent1 said...

Take a shot and get back on the horse. classic

the rubber band around the arm. fucking hilarious.

Dale Bagwell said...

Thanks for the comments guys! And no, I don't why certain parts of the text on the post gets highlighted. I think Roy did it just to fuck with me that little bastard!

-Thanks for stopping by Star. Always glad to have you visit, and glad you liked the Ric Flair bit. You'll really like tommorow's skit.

-Omega, you know it man. I had to go for the easy kill. It would have been inhumane not to:)

Dan said...

wrestling figures were the best esp Macho Man. aww yeah lol.

nice job again mr. Flair brings the thunder!

Dale Bagwell said...

Ha ha, he does indeed Dan; and the Wooooooo!

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