Wednesday, December 04, 2013

"Top 5 Chicks Who Actually Rock: Not Another Frakking Diva"

Happy Hump Day Bitches!

So today we have another guest article/post for you all. Regular contributer Randomnerd has been nice enough to help me out and give a day off basically. So, take it away Ging........

There isn't a lack of female stars in the music industry. Some of them can actually sing, too. But there is that small segment, elusive, mysterious, and talented who do more than just stand and out-diva each other. They actually -gasp- play an instrument! Holy rock 'n rollers, Batman, who knew chicks could rock? That's not a real question, we all know they can, and here are five of my favorite Chicks who Actually Rock...(just imagine the booming voice-over).

5). Abi Harding (sax player, The Zutons)
I'm sure you've never heard of them, but this whacky group from the UK was just kind of bumbling along until Sean Payne started bringing his girlfriend up on stage for a few sets. Her simple saxophone lines added a much needed layer of smooth depth to the tracks, and Abi ended up a bona-fide member of the band. Not something you see much of in rock bands these days, check out the hot horn action in one of my favorite songs of theirs.

4). Melissa Auf der Maur (bassist, Hole, Smashing Pumpkins, solo)
Bassist and band jumper extraordinaire, this is one chick who knows good music. She even played in a Black Sabbath tribute band called Hand of Doom for a while. But I was never happier than to see her go solo. She can strum, she can write, and she can sing. Sure, she's not hard to look at either, but if you come for the pretty face you'll stick around for the tunes. In a world of lack-luster easy listening females, this woman isn't afraid to pump the heavy edge of rock, mellowed only by her voice.

 3). Nikki Monniger (bassist, Silversun Pickups)
This woman is brilliant. And I'm not using that term lightly. Without her, Silversun would be just another almost-good hipster trend band. (Sorry, guys, you know I love you, but without Nikki I wouldn't have noticed.) Often times her bass line is what MAKES their songs great. It's the oomph behind everything, and watching her play makes you want to pick up a bass and try it yourself. Mostly so you'll look just that cool.

2). Kim Gordon (bass, guitar, Sonic Youth)
I like to think of Sonic Youth as experimental punk. It's raw and polished at the same time, and pops up with some of the weirdest sounds when you're not expecting them. I always hear them called grunge, and I suppose it's true considering when they came out, but they weren't just another garage band in flannel shirts and dirty hair. And a big reason they rock so hard is Kim Gordon, who plays bass, guitar, and sings. Just listen to Cross the Breeze, from Daydream Nation, and even prog rock fans will lean towards their speakers waiting for the next change-up.

1). Joan Jett (guitarist, vocals, The Runaways and solo)
Yeah, this one's not hard to figure out. And while some of the above ladies might be technically superior to Ms. Jett, let's not forget that without women like her and fellow Runaway Lita Ford paving the road for women in ACTUAL rock 'n roll and not just the fluffy pop music they'd always done, we might never have had an Auf der Maur, a Monniger, or a Gordon. To this day, you put on I Love Rock 'n Roll and everyone in the place will stand up and sing along. That's impact, baby. And Joan left one helluva footprint for all rockin' chicks to step in.

There are many many more women in music that can blow the covers off of speakers. And I don't want anyone to think the order in which I rated them means anything other than that's who popped into my head at that minute. Please shout out and give some free PR to your favorite rock star in a skirt. Or leather pants. And thanks again for letting me hang around the Morbid House!

No, thank you Random:)

I'll say it's always nice to have friends that help contribute new musical influences or band/singer ideas to the your own huge catalogue. Dan and Random have done just that for me. Multiple times I'll check out Dan's Monday's Music picks or talking music to Random, and I'll usually be suggestions to listen to so and so. And you know what? I can honestly I've haven't a bad suggestion yet. Hell, I'll usually wind up downloading the song(for for free bitches;) that same day or the next.

I'm sure there re plenty of you out there that can do the same, so as always, feel more than free to throw in your two cents and musical picks. Be they music, movies, or whatever.

Speaking of entertainment, yesterday I briefly mentioned Son of Anarchy. Watched last night, and DAMN!
I'm sure Dan probably watchd it before I did due to that crazy-ass time zone thing they got going on in Kiwi-Land, but! No spoilers, but next week is indeed the season finale, and I for one can not wait to see the cliffhanger it ends on.

Also, I was buying my new minutes for my phone card(Straight Talk Baby!) and I found for pretty cheap, the complete 1st season of the 2005 Dr.Who series with the 9th Doctor. Not bad for only 20$. And then right next to it, ws Part 2 of Season 7 with the 11th(or is it 12th now?) Doctor, Matt Smith, for only 14$. Merry Christmas to me indeed;)

That's me for today, enjoy your day:)


Dan W said...

This is a great post! Nice idea Random! There are so many I'd chuck onto this list, my mind is racing faster than my two fingers can type thinking of them all. I'd add in Amy Lee from Evanescence, 'Heartbreaker' Pat Benatar, Eurythmic Annie Lennox and Fergie just four four. The latter i never really thought of as a rocker, but her team-up with Guns and Roses main man Slash is one of the most played songs on my ipod - talk about hot (and a little naaassty but that's all good too :)

Not as nasty as Katey Sagal in Sons - but thats all good too :)

Dale Bagwell said...

That Katie Segal.....nasty indeed. In fact, to quote don from TDKR, "Balls Nasty";)

Ging really hooked me on the Zuftons and more on Silversun Pickups.

She just amazed me with that artist Auf Der Maur. It could just be me, but the vocals, the way the song was arranged, and the gutiar riffs made me think of Led Zeppelin immediately. Sounds like one of their songs.

Annie Lennox indeed rocks! I've loved her music sense I 1st heard Sweet Dreams, and then her 1st solo stuff as well. She, like Pat Benetar have aged well like the finest of wines, and can still contribute to the music industry when they feel the need to.

Amy Lee....yeah she's got a hell of a voice, no doubt. And Fergie. omg, Fergie! I remeber hearing that 1st album, Walking on Pavements, follwed by an interview she did for CBS' Sunday Morning news show, and I knew she'd be someone to keep an eye on. That last album proved it. "Set fire ot the rain" is still my favorite track off that album, as bittersweet as it is. Her vocals man...her vocals....

karl said...

Nice reading, Random. For me Pat Benatar really raves it, her ' We Belong Together' always reminds me of my college days at Cambridge.
We must be two seasons behind here in England of Sons Of Anarchy, its always shown here late at night and never promoted - I think Ive missed the opening episodes of the past three seasons because no-one knew it was on.
On an unfortunate note, I'll be off the posting for a couple of days as tomorrow [the 5th] is the first anniversary of our mum's passing so the family is coming over. Will resume normal [well, abnormal] service prob next week. Im working on a massive post about Wonder Woman for next year if youre interested.

Randomnerd said...

@karl, we'll miss you mate. Dan and Dale and Shlomo will just have to up the references to anal sex to fill in. (Get it? Fill in?) I'll be thinking good thoughts for you and your family.

@ everyone who mentioned Lennox and Benatar. Those two did cross my mind, and also have roles on my iPod frequently. It's just not what I'm playing right now. Catch me in a month when I start going all weepy and nostalgic and I guarantee you I'll be posting their stuff on facebook. Again.

@Dale, Why do you think Auf Der Maur caught me so hard? Yeah, most bands take their influence from Zep in one way or another, but few of them actually pull it off. Of course, she can pull of almost anything and I'd love it at this point.

Thanks so much for all of your comments fellas! You always know how to make me feel loved. :)

Dale Bagwell said...

@Karl: My condolences again to you and your family. I definitely feel fot you and know where you're coming from on that. I don't like to share this around a lot, but my own dad is currently battling Bladder Cancer. So yeah, it's going around like the flu these days.

Looking forward to your WW article, serious or of full of sex jokes, I care not sir. I'll be a captive audience for that one;)(Get it, captive;)

@Ging: I defintely do. As soon as I heard the beginning, and then the follwoing guitar riffs, I was like, "man this sounds a lot like Led Zeppelin" Again, I would't be too too suprised to find out this was a cover, it was that good.

As for the anal sex references, looks like I'll be the unofficial Pied Piper of anal sex.....lines for awhile. GodDoomit Karl!lol

Dan W said...

the "Pied Piper of anal sex"... well I guess it is a wind instrument.

Dale Bagwell said...

@Dan: LOL, yes, yes it is. Toot toot!;)

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