Thursday, January 23, 2014

What The Fuck Were They Thinking?: Death-Stalker


I was loading and posting pics yesterday, to post for yesterday's new blog post. There somehow, as sometimes happens, wound up being a bunch of drafts. I erased them, but in doing so, knocked the original numbering of this blog a bit. Today would've been the 493rd post. Now it'll be the 488th. The hell man? Now I'm that much farther away from 500. Fuck me.

So for today's edition of WTFWTT, I'm using the same dude from yesterday, Death-Stalker. Well technically it was his mother that was the main villain, but fuck it, I'll use him anyways.

So, Death-Stalker.

He started out alright. Nice name, cool powers actually. In fact when you look at them:
"Interdimensional travel and  Death-Grip gloves that grant the ability to kill a person upon contact"
They make him sound like one touch hombre.

Here's some more info on the nature of his powers:

"Accidental exposure to "T-radiation" altered Sterling's physiology, making it so that he normally existed in a dimension congruent to Earth. While in this realm, he could watch and listen to events on Earth without being observed from Earth by any means. By willing himself to do so, he could shift into the Earth dimension to varying degrees. He could become visible, but intangible, or visible and tangible as he desired. He could shift from one state to the other instantaneously. Also, while completely in his interdimensional state, he could cover distances more rapidly, enabling him to disappear from one Earth location and reappear at another far sooner than if he had traversed that same distance on Earth. The Death-Stalker could not continuously manifest in the dimension of Earth for more than several hours at a time. His "cybernetic death-grip" device, stolen from AIM, was worn in his gloves, which emitted a dose of microwave radiation when activated by mental command, crippling or killing (depending on the duration of contact) any living creature in contact with it. This self-described "touch of death" energy has been described as microwaves, but seems to have properties of both lightning and truly intense cold. The Death-Stalker, however, had to tangibly materialize in full on Earth for the device to be effective—a "lone weakness"[3] which Daredevil learned he could exploit to attack Sterling. All in all, Philip Wallace Sterling was a brilliant criminal mastermind—running a global "espionage syndicate"[3]—in addition to being an accomplished inventor and scientist with extensive knowledge of advanced scientific apparatus."

So how did he get this way?
Apparently he was somewhat of a brilliant inventor, and invented a Time-Displacer ray, or "T-Ray" which allowed him to target and send someone to another dimension.
Well he and his crew, called the Unholy Three, all ganged up on Daredevil. he beat 'em all, and broke the T-Ray in the process, which someone targeted and fucked with Philip Sterling's(That's his real name btw) 
body, turning him into said Death-Stalker.

So with a person who could jump and warp into other dimensions, become intangible, and could kill you with his touch, how did this guy turn into a fucking lame-ass?

Because he had all those powers and could never get the job done. Year after year, he'd go after Daredevil, and get his ass handed to him.

Finally, in Daredevil#158(Frank Miller's 1st issue), while fighting DD in a dark and hardly-lit graveyard, Death-Stalker gets killed when DD tricks him into materializing blind right in the middle of a headstone. Bam! Fucking dead, and game over for that sum' bitch.

Again, this is a guy, power-wise, who should be on the level of an Iron Man, Dr.Strange, or Avengers, or FF, and he gets taken out by the poor man's version of Spider-Man. Damn!

Apparently the Death-Stalker name didn't die with Sterling though.

Nope. In Villains For Hire#1, we see a new female Death-Stalker. Who she is or how she got her powers was never explained that I know of. Huh.

Hopefully she'll do a lot better than her predecessor, but that all really depends on the writer at the time.
Good luck bitch;)

   Yep, that's how I want to go out. Just like that. NOT!

Have a good to great weekend bitches!


The King of Thessaly said...

"Death-Stalker, NO! Don't you know where you are???" Fucking classic as fuck! Damn, he went out like a bitch!!! "But... the *choke* ...tombstone!" Hahaha~ I love that panel. Very cool stuff.
And Rule 63 Death-Stalker?; allllllllright. Giggity giggity, giggity goo!!!

Tiger OA1 said...

I don't know what they were thinking but I kinda like this guy (kinda). And like you said the new version is a woman AND a man. Don't know how or why. They didn't explain it in the series.

Dale Bagwell said...

@King: Right? How fucked up is that? You have all that power, can't be tracked with conventional means, and yet gets jobbed out by DD like that. Fuck that's sad man. Dr. Strange or Thor, or Quasar yeah, but DD? Shit man.....

Rue 63 strikes again indeed. And she's hot piece of ass too, to make a suit sexy like that. Crossbones tried to blow her head off, but she shrugged it off, saying "You can't kill what's already dead." So she's a zombie now? I'd still do her, but still....

@Tiger: New version is a chick only, but they've never explained where she came from or how she got her powers. So maybe it's the same guy, just returned as a chick. Hey, it's working for Loki.

karl said...

Death-Stalker does have such a lame-ass power whatever it can else could it explain how one hero can fall for it and not another?
Het Dale, can I make a plea? Your post refers to Stalker's 'dying mother' you know my own mother passed recently, could you kindly remove those two words from your post? Sorta gave me a funny turn reading that, hope you don't mind.
Btw, last night I read an old Avengers tale from the 70s, a crappy tale called #Five Dooms To Save Tomorrow' written by none other than...Harlan Ellison! What a load of old cods, all concerning some chess game the Avengers are judging [what the fuck?!?] when some nerd suddenly gets some universe shattering power for no apparent reason, and the Watcher orders him to kill some random innocents. Couldn't make head nor tails of it. No wonder Ellison never wrote much - and it was based on one of his old stories.

Dale Bagwell said...

@Karl: I've heard of what you're talking about yeah. He did some sporadic work for Marvel in the 70's, and yeah, that one really shouldn't have been adapted to comics, or at least not the Avengers. Damn what I dud that was.

As for the other matter, of course. No problem man. I feel kinda' bad now for not catching that. Thanks for pointing that out. Again, no problem Karl:)

googum said...

Was that his mom's tombstone? Otherwise, someone's in for a weird next Memorial Day...

There was a lot of weird, sorta sci-fi stuff in some old DD issues, before Frank Miller turned it around and brought in millions of ninjas.

karl said...

Have you heard that DeathLok - the half human/robot cyborg from the 70s Amazing Adventures - is going to be in the later episodes of Agents of SHIELD? Cannot wait.

Dan W said...

Ha - years ago when I entered my birthdate in a widget it told me this was the comic released on the week I was born!

Never read it, but glad it's not in a museum yet like me :)

Dale Bagwell said...

@Googum: I have no idea, but how cool,but fucked up would it be if it was right?

@Karl: Yeah I read that on FB, and then some friends of mine at my LCS said the same. Good for them, but from what I hear the show still sucks.

@Dan: Right? Naaaaw, no one would stick you in a museum unless you suddenly developed a third eye, sex arms, or turned into an American overnight;)

Dan W said...

Sex arms? Heck if I had sex for arms I'd be doing the talk show circuit! When I'm in town will you shout a brother a brewskie - I'll have spent all mine on twinkies.

Dale Bagwell said...

@Dan: Deal and deal mate. Ball's in your corner;)

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