Wednesday, April 06, 2011

"There's gonna' be a slobberknocker tonight for sure"

Recapping yesterday's post, I started off my Fantasy Fight section with the JLA fighting the JSA, the Authority, and the Squadron Supreme. Today we get to see how the SS fairs against the team they were copied from.

3). JLA vs. Squadron Supreme

I'm going to use the original, and mostly remembered team of Squaders, as JMS's version of the team is basically the same with the exception of the costumes and more adult-like settings. To me, JMS's SS is very similar to The Authority, so I'll just stick to the classic team. More than likely you'd get the same results even if this version is more kill happy.

Wonder Woman                                                                                               
Flash(barry allen)                                                                                            
 Green Lantern(hal jordan)                                                                             
 Martian Manhunter                                                                                        
The Atom                                                                                                          
Green Arrow
 Black Canary                                                                                                   
 Elongated Man                                                                                               

 Squadron Supreme
Power Princess
 Doctor Spectrum
 Skrullian Skymaster
Cap'n/Blue Eagle
The Shape
The Whizzer
Lady Lark
Golden/Black Archer
Tom Thumb

As you can see I used the classic roster of each team, as the main SS roster reflects the satelite-era JLA roster.

I imagine both teams eye-balling each other up and down, with the JLA thinking the SS is just another Criminal Syndicate of Amerika, or something along those lines. Nothing the JLA hasn't faced before right?
For the sake of time on my end, let's just say that it's a gigantic one-on-one battle with Superman fighting Hyperion, Flash vs. Wizzer, and so on. This should be fun.

Flash vs. The Whizzer- I'm giving this one to Flash. He's quicker, smarter, and winds up pwning "Whizzer."

Green Arrow vs. Golden/Black Archer- They both seem to have a fetish with bird ladies, both are cocky, and both are, of course archers. The main differences between the two is that Ollie's a better trained fighter and a better aim when it comes to shooting arrows. Golden/Black Archer's own profile says he has near perfect aim, not perfect as I believe Ollie's is. Ollie wins this one while remarking how similar this other guy looks.

Wonder Woman vs. Power Princess- These two are truly matched up evenly, with similar powers and strength. So who wins? In my opinion WW gets the edge over PP due to her Amazonian training and gifts bestowed upon her by the gods.
Lasso vs. shield? WW wins.

Black Canary vs Lady Lark- BC's the better fighter by far. BC wins.

Elongated Man vs. The Shape- Plastic man fighting Shape would've been funnier, but Ralph's no slouch either. EM wins.

Firestorm vs. Nuke- Yeah Firestorm gets the win due to versitility of powers.

Martian Manhunter vs. Skrullian Skymaster- MM by a nose. That and he has more powers even he doesn't know he has.

Green Lantern vs. Dr. Spectrum- This would really be a good fight, and both are evenly matched. I'm giving this one to Hal due to fight experience, but damn would it be close!

The Atom vs. Tom Thumb- You wouldn't be able to see it, but it'd be over real quick. Tom Thumb maybe a tech whizz, but Ray Palmer's the man, Atom wins with his patented 180 pound punch.

Zatanna vs. Arcanna- After reviewing Arcanna's profile, I'm not quite sure Z could have this in the bag. Arcanna has intimate knowledge of quantum physics and can alter reality. She's more a double for the Scarlet Witch than Zatanna. That being said, it comes down to speed; can Zatanna say her backwards spells faster than Arcanna can alter reality? I'm going to say they both use spells against each other simulatinously, eliminating themselves from the battle. Draw/no contest.

Hawkman vs Cap'n/Blue Eagle- This fight's over before you can finish shouting "Birrrrrrrrrrrrdmannnnnnnnn!" Hawkman wins.

Aquaman vs. Amphibian- I had to review Amphibian's profile as well, and I have to say based on his abilities, 'Phibby might just be alittle tougher. You can read his profile here: and you be the judge. It looks like 'Phibby might be stronger, but his mental powers aren't as strong as Aquaman's. His profile says he can lift 10 tons, and the deeper he goes in the ocean, the stronger he gets. Kind of like Namor huh?  I'll give this one to Aquaman, but it'll be a hell of a fight, and ole' Arthur's going to be hurting for a good while.

Batman vs. Nighthawk- Batman wins this one on the simple fact that he cheats if he has to to win. Not that he would in this fight, but it might come to that.

And now for the main event......

Superman vs. Hyperion- Much like the Apollo/Superman fight, this battles goes all over the planet, outer space, and back to Earth. Hell if Superman was cold-blooded, I'd imagine after seeing how evenly matched they both are, he'd throw Hyperion into the sun to finish things. But he's not, so this fights goes on for hours, maybe even a day or two. Hyperion's atomically-powered; Superman is powered by the sun. I believe in the end, it looks like Hyperion almost wins this one, of course this being a team fight, the JLA busts a move and heads over to attack Hyppie. Supes says no, and then pulls out a last-ditch series of blows, and ko's Hyperion. Batman with the assist though due to covertly sending pure sun rays Clark's way. But then of course this is the Pre-Crisis version of Superman, and in that case this fights over in about a minute. It'd take that long for a stubborn Hyperion to fall after being hit with a planet-smashing punch to the face. Oww! That's gonna' leave a mark!

Your winners: the JLA

And for something new......
I had this crazy idea for an issue of Doom Patrol where aliens abduct Negative Man and Robotman and force them to fight in an intergalatic wrestling match. Yeah I know it sounds silly, but crazy/silly is what the DP's all about right?
Besides Stan Lee and Jack Kirby did it by having the Thing abducted to fight in an intergalactic gladiator match during their run on FF, so why not?
This is how I imagine it looking like......

And you're looking at the new Doom Patrol World Tag Team Champions!
Yeah the wrestlers in the skit weren't alien, but hey sue me. I don't have alien figures laying around and I have to use what I got. Next time, when I have more time, I'll expand further on this.
And yes I believe Larry and Cliff would win.....why not?

I'm out.....

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