Friday, September 15, 2017

So, Who Would Win?: Kurt Busiek's Thunderbolts VS. Warren Ellis' Thunderbolts

TGIF!!!!!

Oh what the hell, haven't had a Friday post in awhile, might as well make the most of it.
And that means, another exciting edition of So, Who Would Win?

This week's combatants are Kurt Busiek's Thunderbolts and Warren Ellis' Thunderbolts.
Yes that's right, a battle of the Thunderbolts, 'cause why not?

You know how it is, if you have a team/franchise that's been awhile, there's always the temptation to ask well which version or particular era of that team/franchise is better than certain others?

Well today I'm asking out of these two well-known and popular incarnations of the Thunderbolts which version is the superior version, the originals or the original Civil War version?


To help determine that, we'll have to look at the members of those teams and how they ultimately stack up against each other.

Let's take a look at the original Thunderbolts first, shall we?

They first appeared in the Incredible Hulk#449 (1997) and quickly shook things up when it was revealed at the end of the team's first issue, that the seemingly heroic new super-team that just took over the FF's home and headquarters, were in fact Baron Zemo and the Masters of Evil in disguise.
After that shocking revelation, it was on like neck bone sucka', to see just how long Zemo's ruse would last.

Zemo's Thunderbolts:

1). Citizen V - 
AbilitiesScientific genius
Master swordsman and hand-to-hand combatant
Skilled strategist

2). Mach 1 - 
AbilitiesHighly intelligent
Extensive knowledge of mechanics and engineering
As Beetle and MACH-I/IV:
Powered armor grants:
Superhuman strength and durability
Flight via artificial wings
Variety of weapons systems

3). Atlas - 
AbilitiesSuperhuman strength and durability
Size and mass manipulation

4). Songbird - 
AbilitiesSupersonic speed
Sound and vocal manipulation
Sonokinesis
Sonic screams, waves, and burst projection
Echolocation
Echokinesis
Hypnotic song
Ability to create "solid sound" constructs

5). Meteorite - 
AbilitiesSuperhuman strength, speed, stamina and reflexes
Gravity manipulation
Flight
Photon blasts
Intangibility
Light generation
Minor molecular control

6). Techno - 
AbilitiesElectronics and mechanical genius
Robotic body

7). Jolt - 
AbilitiesOriginally: Kinetic powers, energy control, super-human agility, electric shocks
Later: Electrical control and discharges while in energy form

I chose to include Jolt even though she wasn't originally a part of Zemo's team. She came around the 4th/5th issue, so not quite an OG member, but kinda'....similar to how Cap's retroactively a founding original member of the Avengers even though he didn't join until the 4th issue after the team was already established.

Norman Osborn's Thunderbolts first appeared in Thunderbolts#110 (March 2007), and came about due to the aftermath of the first Civil War, in which Tony Stark decides create the Marvel version of the Suicide Squad....basically. This incarnation of the team would eventually become the Dark Avengers in 2009 during the Dark Reign era.

Osborn's Thunderbolts:

1). Green Goblin - 
Abilities
  • Superhuman strength, stamina, durability, agility and reflexes due to ingesting the Goblin Formula
  • Regenerative healing factor
  • Genius-level intellect
  • Proficient scientist
  • Skilled in hand-to-hand combat and martial arts
  • Utilizes goblin-themed weapons and a Goblin Glider

2). Bullseye - 
AbilitiesExpert martial artist
Exceptional physical condition
Use of edged/throwing weapons and conventional firearms
Spinal column and various other bones laced with adamantium
Innate ability to throw virtually any object as a projectile

3). Moonstone - 
AbilitiesSuperhuman strength, speed, stamina and reflexes
Gravity manipulation
Flight
Photon blasts
Intangibility
Light generation
Minor molecular control

4). Swordsman - 
Abilities
(Andreas von Strucker):
Concussive bolt projection
(Fenris):
Flight
Phenomenal acrobat
hand-to-hand combatant
Force blasts and flight while in physical contact
(Swordsman):
Sword usage

5). Songbird - 
AbilitiesSupersonic speed
Sound and vocal manipulation
Sonokinesis
Sonic screams, waves, and burst projection
Echolocation
Echokinesis
Hypnotic song
Ability to create "solid sound" constructs

6). Penance - 
Abilities(As Speedball):
Force field generation
(As Penance):
Energy blasts

7). Venom - 
Abilities
As Venom and Spider-Man:
Symbiote grants:
All of Spider-Man's powers
Limited shapeshifting
Immunity to Spider-Sense

8). Radioactive Man - 
AbilitiesGenius nuclear physicist
Radiation manipulation
Armored suit grants:
Superhuman strength and durability
Flight via boot jets
Hand-blasters
Computer and radio transmitter and receiver
Smokescreen
Backpack rocket launcher

Well right out the gate, Zemo's team is outnumbered 8-7, and then there's the shock for both teams to realize they're sharing two members with Moonstone and Songbird.
That's defintiely gotta' fuck with both teams mentally going into this.
Then there's the dueling power and skill-sets, with Osborn's team possibly pulling ahead again, but that's only once both Songbirds and Moonstones have taken each other out.

What would really be interesting to see is who can out-manipulate and betray who, especially with two world-class manipulating scumbags in Baron Zemo and Osborn. 
Goddamn if this wouldn't be the epitome of a pissing contest between the two. The bragging rights alone would be worth seeing who comes out on top.


So, 

Kurt Busiek's/Baron Zemo's Thunderbolts





VS.

Warren Ellis'/Norman Osborn's Thunderbolts





Who wins and why?
As always I'm curious who you think would be the last Thunderbolts team standing.


I'd be remiss if I didn't pass along some bad news.
Wednesday we lost famed actor Frank Vincent due to complications he suffered during open heart surgery.

If he looks familiar to you, he should, seeing as how he gained fame playing Italian gangsters throughout his storied career. 
His most famous and well-known role had to be when he played Billy Batts in the movie Goodfellas( My absolute favorite movie ever)

Damn shame to lose such a talented and very well-respected veteran actor and all-around damn fine human being.
To my fellow Leo(we shared the same birthday),

Salute, Frank Vincent.....






2 comments:

googum said...

Busiek's in three rounds. While Osborn's got more murderers, and will go for the throat; Zemo's got the tactical skill to out-think him.

Dale Bagwell said...

Yeah? It's possible, although both men have extremely huge ego that can cloud their judgement. It'd be interesting to me how the two Moonstones deal with each other, and if they both team up and turn on both of their respective teams.

I'd be down to see Zemo win, and it'd be really easy to mess with the psychos, like Bullseye and Venom, so we'll see.

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