"(Super) Perfect Strangers"

Special Weekend edition folks! Yes, I got my computer fixed, so I'm ready and willing to corrupt the minds of future generations. You have been warned!

Now, you're probably asking, "What the hell's up with the title?" Simple. Anyone from my generation that watched a lot of TV in the 80's knows the title is a play/joke on a sitcom from the 80's called Perfect Strangers. If you don't know, then to to YouTube you must go!

 Go ahead, I'll wait. Watched it yet? Alright then enough of that and on to the feature skit:

-Cap and OMAC both stare at each other, meeting for the 1st time ever.

Captain America: "So...."

OMAC: "So....."

Cap: "OMAC right? I've heard of you before. You're some super-soldier from the future right?"
OMAC: "Yeah something like that. And you're Captain America, the famous super-soldier from WW2 correct?"

Cap: "Yes I am. Can't believe we've never met before even though we share the same creator, papa Jack Kirby."
OMAC: "I know right? Small world. So....."

CAP: "So...nice hair."
OMAC: "Thanks. Would you believe it's as strong as your shield? At least that's what I've heard."

Cap: "No kidding huh? So you come from the future right? Can you tell me about it?"
OMAC: "Yeah, let's not go there. Too many bad memories."

Cap: "PTSD?"
OMAC: "Oh yeah!"

Cap: "I heard that. War really is hell isn't it?"
OMAC: "Brother, don't I know it! You have a kid sidekick too?"
Cap: "Yeah, like you said, let's not go there."

"How do my nails look?"

I told you all I'd be back. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

And now on to our feature skit titled, "How do my nails look?":

Nite-Lik: "I, Nite-Lik of the mighty Red Lantern Corps,  doth declare a pox on both your houses!"

Low: "Screw you ugly!"
Maash: "Yeah, shut it ugly!"

Nite-Lik: "Ugly? Ugly!? Who the hell are you guys to call me ugly!? Look in the mirror much you two?"

Low: "Yo' momma bitch, that's who."
Maash: "Ha ha, that's telling him."

Nite-Lik: (Pointing to both) "I say again, a pox on both your-"

Nite-Lik: "Oh what's this? Ooh, I'm so long overdue for a manicure. I wonder if Pai Meng accepts walk-ins 'cause I need to get my nails did"

Low: "What!?  And here I thought he was supposed to be tough."
Maash: "No, more like his breath is, the fucking fetus-head lookin' queen."
Both: "Ha ha ha ha."

Seems like a rough night to need to get your nails did huh?
Until next week guys, keep it cool, keep it classy.

"Beware the Creep(er)"

Hey folks, been awhile I know. I had a fun time at my not-so local comic book shop where I picked up a ton of good shit(and no I don't mean feces!)

I bought a few figures(as usual) on the cheap; namely an old ML Nick Fury, ML Namor(who I've wanted for years!) Face-Off Daredevil, and the gold variant of DCUC Captain Atom just because he was the the only DCUC Captain Atom there. What'cha gonna' do right?

Alright enough boring stuff about me, it's the skits you came to see, so let's get to it:

This skits titled "Beware the Creep(er)" and you'll see why.

Creeper: "Hey there you. Are you tired? because you've been running through my mind all day."

Zatanna: "Oh God! Like I haven't  heard that line before from the Flash, or any other lame-ass with a hard on!"

Creeper: "Touchy, touchy, tooooouchy! Tell me something sweetness, I know you recite your spells backwards, does that apply to moving your tongue backwards too?"

Zatanna: "That does it! Now  you've really pissed me off!"

Zatanna: "Mrofsnart eht Repeerc!"

Creeper: "yeah, like this'll fix me!(I'm being sarcastic just in case you didn't already know)"

Zatanna: "Oh you, you, you little creep!"
Creeper: "That's CREEPER to you, and you know, this feels oddly familar. Oh well, giggity, giggity, giggity-goo!"

Zatanna: "Oh yeah? Well how about this!?"

Creeper: "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

Zatanna: "Ugh! Oh god what have I done?"

Creeper: "I don't want anybody else, when I think about Zatanna I tough myself ohhhhhh ohhhh!"

Scarred yet faithful readers? If not, there's always next week's exciting episode.
Have a good one.

"Someone's knocking at the door, someone's ringing the bell..."

Hey people.
Yes I know it's been awhile, so sue me. No wait, don't because I don't have any money.
Anyways, I figured I'd post a new piece because I have truly missed you all and really missed doing this; as reading my buddy Googum's skits having been making things harder and harder on me as well.

So what's new?
Well I've successfully bought and completed the whole entire Apache Chief/Super-Friends wave of figures. Yes, I'm now the proud owner of my 1st ever completed C&C figure!

credit: to thefwoosh.com

He looks awesome, even though he looks more like a native-American chippendale or Geronimo on steriods depending on how you look at him.

The bad news is that I had to buy El Dorado, or El Chico as I like to call him as well. Yeah he sucks, but at least now I have a super-powered Mexican Mesero(that's waiter in Spanish) to serve chips and salsa to the rest of his Super-Friends.

Alright, here's a new skit of mine. The pics are actually a few months old, but I never posted them, so they're new to you.

This is called "Mite I be of of some assistance?" enjoy.

Bat-Mite: Greetings fellas, my name is Bat-Mite and I just happened to hear you guys were looking for a new 3rd member for your little team, and I had nothing else to do, so I said "what the hell" so here I am.

Robotman: Uhh, wait a minute. Aren't some sort of genie or magical whatzidozit that causes trouble and random mischief?

Negative Man: He's an imp Cliff, just like Mr. Mxypltz, or something like that.

Robotman: Yeah, just whut I thought; trouble we don't need. Sorry lil' guy you gotta' go. We don't need more trouble aroubd here. if we did, we'd already sign up that kook Mr. Nobody or that weirdo Ambush Bug.
Bat-Mite: But, but.....
Negative Man: Now let's not be too hasty there Cliff! He does have magical powers after all, and when was the last time we had someone on the team with that particular skill set? Besides, he's harmless, aren't you little fella?
Bat-Mite: Yes, yes I am! But oh so very helpful!

Bat-Mite: I also know who batman is. Wanna' know?
Robotman: Who doesn't know who that guy is by now? Ya' got anything else to offer us?
Bat-Mite: I can show what Wonder Woman looks like naked.
Negative Man: Sold! You're in!
Robotman: Welcome to the team lil' buddy, hope you survive the experience.

"Meanwhile back at the ranch....."

Hello people,

yes it's me again, and yes it's been awhile, but what can I do?

The computer's permantely FUBARed, and I'm forced to work from my local libarary.

Anyway, here's my attempt at new(and hopefully funny) skits for the new year. Hope you all enjoy.

The 1st one's a short I call "Wasted Time."

Captain Cold
"Where the hell is he!? I've been waiting here for over an hour!"

Hobgoblin
"Hey Cold, fancy meeting you here."    














Captain Cold
: "'Goblin? What the hell are you doing here?"

Hobgoblin: "I'm here on business if you know what I mean. Afterwards, I figure I'll go out fo a ho and and a show HA ha ha ha!"

Hobgoblin
: "By the way, have I ever told you how much I just simply love your outfit? What are you supposed to be anyway, some Eskimo-fucker or Eskimo slave-master or something?"

Hobgoblin
 "HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Captain Cold
 "Yeah I'm being given fashion tips from an idiot who still dresses up like it's Halloween all-year 'round, and walks around with a big 'ol Grandma purse! Hell you're so cheap, I bet that big ol' pocketbook of your's isn't even real, it's probably a knock-off!"

Hobgoblin  "Now you see here Captain Parka, this man-purse of mine is very handy and chic. Tim Gunn said so himself! Besides it isn't a knock-off, and I'll prove it to you..."

Captain Cold
"Well smart guy, out with it!"
Hobgoblin: "Damn it to all hell, I've been sold a knock-off! It's not a Berkin bag after all! I'm gonna' track that loser who sold this to me and kill him!"


The next one is simply titlted "Thank you for smoking." Hey I like the movie, and it applies to this skit, honest!

Deadshot
 Hey folks, it's your kinda-friendly-depending on what day it is-favorite assassin here, and I figured I'd take time out of my busy scheduhle to talk to you about one of my favorite vices besides killing people."

"Yessir, when it all gets too stressful, or after a successful mission, be it Suicidal or otherwise, I like to relax with a good smoke.

"And that's why I only smoke these bad boys, and not Brand X. No sir, no shit-ass, second-rate cigerette pack for me, only these bad mama-jamas!"

Catman: "Floyd, what the hell are you doing man?"
Deadshot:" making some quick and easy cash buddy man!"








Deadshot: " Besides I have to salvage my rep anyway I can without taking anymore lumps from Batman or Dan Didio. Seriously Blake, have you even read how bad Sucicide Squad is?"
Catman: "No, I just use all those NuDCU titles for my Litter Box, which I don't use for myself...very often."

Happy New Year Bitches!!!!

A brief update kids!

I do continue to read this blog and comments section, so don't worry I'm still around....you know like a bad fart in an elevator.

I think I might try posting new skits by doing the following:

I'll post the pics, and write the captions underneath to go along with the pic, since I still can't use mspaint.

By doing this, (the skits)it'll essentially become a prose piece, you know like famous writers and Grant Morrison have done in the past. Idk know how it'll all work, or even if it will, but I have try something since not posting a new blog is killing me(well not really, but it's damn frustrating!)

So bar with me as I go medievil in this new year.

have a great weekend guys

PS. if this doesn't work, blame googum!
Not don't, he's cool!

"This is the end, my beatiful friend, the end...."

Well folks I really did it this time!
In the course of downloading various classic rock mp3's, I unwittingly downloaded a mega virus to my computer. I should've known better, shouldn't have been as greedy as I was, but I couldn't help myself. Like Larfleeze, I simply wanted more and more, and now I'm paying a heavy price for my actions.

By unwittingly downloading this mega-virus, I can no longer use Windows media player(can't play any of the music I downloaded or burn them) and I can't even use mspaint, which I used to create my sometimes funny, sometimes not skits.

So, I'll continue to leave this blog up so I can further scar future readers/passer-bys, but I'll no longer be able to update it. It's been a fun ride while it lasted, but now the fun's come to an end.

I'll continue to read and support other great bloggers like Goo, Dan, Martin, and others, so you'll still see me on the comments' section guys!

I'll be forced to use my local, friendly-neighborhood library now, so visits will be once a week.

Thanks everybody!