What The Fuck Were They Thinking: The Shocker

TGIF!!!!!

Okay, okay, so right of the bat, you're probably thinking,
"You're talking about the sex toy/sex finger position right?" or "The Shocker? Isn't he that loser Spider-Man villain who looks like a melted oven mitt from the 70's?"

Maybe both, due to the nature of his powers, but definitely the latter.

Either way, today he's the newest inductee into the hall of shame, in today's edition of What The Fuck Were They Thinking?..

The Shocker, whose real name is Herman Schultz(so he was doomed to be a schmuck right out the gate, Gee, thanks Stan;) was your everyday, run-of-the-mill common criminal, who was secretly an engineering genius.
 How is he an engineering? Because he made/learned how to make a pair of vibrating gauntlets while in the slammer.

And thus Marvel Comics' first(probably) unintentional sex toy for women was born.

Well not really, but it should've been. He might've been more successful in life by going that route.

But I digress.

First appearing in The Amazing Spider-Man#46 (March 1967), and created by Stan Lee and John Romita, The Shocker was actually successful in first go-round with our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. of course he had Spidey at a huge disadvantage since Spidey had a bum arm from fighting the Lizard in the previous issue, but hey, a win's a win any way you can take it right?

Spider-Man later recovered enough to avenge said jobbing, and after that, Schultz became one of yet many a punching bag for Spidey and any other costumed hero in need of an ego boast that day.

And trust me, he's played the lovable loser role to perfection over the years. But he's also been featured in several Spider-Man cartoon series, had his likeness made into a few action figures that I know of, and even starred in a mini or two. 

Most recently he's been featured in the criminally underrated and under-appreciated comic series, The Superior Foes of Spider-Man.

I guess my main gripe isn't so much his powers, which if you look them up, are pretty damn solid.
It's his outfit.
Seriously, look at it.....


He looks like ugly ghost of a broken George Foreman grill or an old, unloved waffle iron.
I guess "Jazzy" John Romita burnt his hands while pulling a pan out of the oven, cursed himself for not wearing oven mitts, and then thought to himself :

  "Hmm, those oven mitts over there; they're mocking me for not putting them on. Fuck it! I'll show them and create a super-villain out of 'em."

Or something like that.


So based purely off the outfit alone, Stan and John, What The Fuck Were You Thinking!?

That's me for this week.
Hope you guys have an awesome weekend.