"They call me the breeze.....I keep rolling down the road."

Well kiddies,
this is my 1st post as a 31 year-old, and frankly it feels the same as I did when I was 30. Go figure huh.

So I was visiting family in upstate Greenville, and found time to find a nice comic book store. It was small, but packed to the fucking rafters with toys, and one of the biggest and complete collections of trades I've ever seen! So I couldn't help myself, and bought a really nice one, called Tales of the Multiverse: Batman-Vampire. 

Yes, the whole vampire-Batman trilogy by the creative team of Doug Moench and Kelley Jones. And trust me, if you've ever seen Kelley Jones' work, then you know how he was born to draw Batman, especially as a vampire. Trust me he really does, as he's always drawn Batman with long, exaggerated ears, and there on full display in this collection. I highly recommend it, if you happen to run into it. Good, good stuff!

And of course no visit to a comic book store is complete without feeding my addiction for more action figures. And boy did I luck out.

I snatched up the DC Direct Identity Crisis Elongated Man, who has two inter-changeable rubber arms, ala Mr.Fantastic, and a neck that you can pull up a good ways. He's really nice, even if the face doesn't exactly translate as well, based off whoever sculpted him. But he's damn decent, and will hold me over until I ever run into the new DCUC version that's coming out next year via the DCUC Subscription club.

-photo is courtesy of itsalltrue.net

I then snatched up the two head combo of the GLC wave figures Medphyll and Nautkeloi. They are very cool, even though Medphyll's head makes him look like the Guardians gave a power ring to a talking broccoli stalk, and the Nautkeloi head's super loose; as in it doesn't like to stay on. I don't know if that's just the one I got, or if other people have the same problem. Other way, it's a very cool and unique figure.

Finally, besides snatching up the new Green Lantern#11, I also picked up the DCUC version of one of the Metal Men, Mercury. Normally I wouldn't because I'm not that much of a big fan of the figures in general, but he does come with a valuable piece for my C&C Bane figure. So all he's missing is his legs, and then he'll be done. So if anyone's got any spare Bane Legs, throw 'em my way please:)
There'll be a future short skit based off him missing his lower half that you guys might enjoy. And yes, all the easy jokes will be included.

I'm really starting to warm up to Mercury though, as he's bad-tempered and extremely sarcastic, so he'll be loads of fun in future skits. Plus that giant scissor-hand's cool as hell too! He looks like he's flipping you bird, but with a big pair of scissors attached. Very nice:)

So all-in-all, I made out pretty damn well. This weekend I go to my home away from home, Heroes and Dragons in Columbia. And oh yes, there will be blood.....nah, but there will be figures! Lots and lots of figures!

And with that, let's go see what's going on in Mr.Morbid's neighborhood shall we?

-Professor Zoom and Johnny Quick argue amongst themselves as to who really is the Flash's fastest and greatest foe.

Prof.Zoom: "I'm the Flash's greatest foe you fool!'

Johnny Quick: "No, you hyped-up twinkie with deer antlers, I am!"

Zoom: "Grrrr!"

Quick: "Grrrrr!"

Just then, The Flash arrives!

The Flash: "Hey. hey quiet down you two! Now what seems to be the matter fellas?"

Zoom: "Tell him Flash. Tell Mr. Johnny-not-so-Quick that I'm your greatest nemesis ever!"

Flash" "Well yeah, you do have a point there."

Quick: "No I am! Tell that moron over there, that unlike him, we're actually correctly color-coordinated. That and I'm faster, so that makes me your greatest enemy!"

Flash: "Well, yeah I guess that's a good point as well."

-Both men argue incessantly about who's the Flash's greatest enemy, causing the usually calm and collected Flash to become really annoyed and blow his top.

Flash: "Fellas, fellas! Look, you're both equally evil and useless.

-points to Zoom.

"You, you claim to be a professor, but obviously that wasn't for color theory because all you did was rip-off my costume and reverse the colors. Nothing more, nothing less; thus making you an idiot. An annoying time-traveling idiot, but an idiot nonetheless!"

-points to Johnny Quick.

"And you, what the hell's up with your costume. Yeah, you're color-coordinated alright, but what the hell's up with those antlers you have? It's like Nicola Tesla designed your outfit, but then said fuck it when he got to the ear-pieces. You look ridiculous for God sake's man! And those 'lighting stripes of yours.....God awful. I can't tell if those are lighting bolts, or someone pissed on your chest.

Now both of you scram, before I really get annoyed!"

-Zoom and Quick both look at each other in amazement at what just happened.

Zoom: "What crawled up his ass today?"

Quick: "I don't know. Maybe he's not getting any. That'll do it."

Quick: "Anyways, I still say I'm the Flash's greatest enemy."

Zoom: "No, I am and I can prove it. One word: Flashpoint!"

Quick: "Huh. Yeah you win. I mean, Me and the Syndicate may have done some fucked up shit, but we never tanked an entire universe's continuity that caused an unnecessary reboot and lost countless readers. Yeah you win."

Zoom: "That's all I'm saying."

 Bonus extra cover:

Take us out Lynyrd Skynrd........

"When the music's over.....turn out the lights"

So according to Bleedingcool.com and various message and comic boards, it looks like DC comics just might be pulling off a major relaunch of all its titles this September. Apparently Flashpoint#5 will be the only comic that DC will distribute on Aug 31st, leaving many to wander what they'll publish/distribute the following week, which is Sept 6th. I don't know if DC's really planning on doing this due to the fallout of Flashpoint, but I hope not. It's already becoming too much of a common practice to relaunch or restart comic titles over from scratch with a new issue number one. I figure that's due to sales, and the possible reason being that comic fans really like fresh, new number ones. Marvel's been doing this recently over the last couple of years, with DC right behind them. Personally, I don't like this. I mean certain titles like Iron Man, Captain America, and Fantastic Four only recently re-numbered back to their original numbering before their own various restarts and relaunches. And as for the DC side of the track, the biggest two titles that they have issue-wise, are Action Comics and Detective Comics, with Batman trailing behind. Action and Detective have both lasted up to 900 issues a piece; well Detective's close. A poster by the name of Barry Allen on the CBR message boards said he liked to see both comics reach #1,000 is his lifetime. I imagine that'll be hard to do if DC restarts everything over with new number ones.

I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.

Also, in a rather said bit of news, I just found out that former Pro-Wrestler Randy "Macho Man" Savage died earlier today. He suffered a heart attack while driving with his wife along a Tampa highway. He swerved into on-coming traffic and crashed, and later was pronounced dead at the hospital. He was only 58, and had just married his current wife Barbara last year. She survived with minor injuries, but sadly he did not. My heart felt condolences go out to his family and friends. He'll truly be missed, and joins a very long list of former pro-wrestlers who dies before their time. I know I'll miss him.
I hope he's snapping a Slim Jim in Heaven while diving of the top of those ropes in God's wrestling ring.

And of course, as Googum already posted on his blog, as have numerous people, some Christian nut claims the world's ending this week. He claims on May 22, a major earthquake will hit New Zealand and continue on to attack the whole world. So, if you don't hear from me Monday, you know what happened.
Have a good weekend, and try not to die......

A Flash.....Point!

So crazy times all alright huh? Ashton Kutcher replaces Charlie Sheen on 2 and Half Men, Donald Trump wisely decides not to run after showing he couldn't handle the media scrutiny, and

That reminds me, there's another crazy world out there called Flashpoint out there. In that world, Barry Allen no longer has his powers but his mother's alive, Cyborg takes Superman's place as that world's #1 hero, Batman is Bruce Wayne's father, Thomas Wayne, WW's castrated and killed all British men, and Aquaman's sunk most of Europe. Whew, that's alot to take in. Now if you think things are tough for us, imagine how tough things are for our poor heroes:

 

Have a good day

Flashpoint, Flashdance, let's call the whole thing off!

Hey guys, one quick apology for last week's post. No, it's not that it was overly harsh or contained adult language, I don't give a fuck about language, see what I did there? Seriously though, despite having to now use Microsoft Paint now in order to create my skits, and I can't really help that yet so please bear with me, I'm apologizing because last week's skit just wasn't that funny. It was a rush job and it showed. So, yeah sorry about that. I'll do better next time. Hey, you might laugh, but I think that's pretty damn white of me if I say so myself.

For those that know, DC's next summer event is called Flashpoint. Basically, Prof. Zoom, the Reverse Flash has gone back in time/is messing around with time so much that the DC Universe's will become transformed into another reality. It's already been compared to the X-Men's Age of Apocalypse, so I guess that gives some clue into what to expect this summer. Numerous DC titles gave been cancelled in the name of freeing up writers and artists to work on the 16 mini-series and 4 one-shots. If you haven't already and are interested, I suggest heading over to DCcomics.com and to find images, clips, and interviews with the various writers and artists involved with the project. You can do the same on various other comic news sites like Comicbookresources.com and Newsarama.com.

Now I know, even though Flashpoint hasn't come out yet, there's already a great stink about if you happen to read the message boards. Some if it is warranted when you look at some of the titles that were cancelled to make room for these event mini-series. Titles like Doom Patrol and Freedom Fighters were cancelled, but not some other like Titans and The Outsiders, even if these other titles weren't selling as much as some of the others. I've posted my opinion about this on the message boards or blogs, but that's neither here nor there. I won't cast judgement on Flashpoint just yet, since some of the titles stemming from the even sound pretty interesting, but yes I wish it wasn't at the cost of cancelling DP or a fan-favorite title like that. But, business is business, and at the end of the day DC owns these characters not us. Some of the intriguing titles/concepts I think is:

-Batman running casinos
-Captain Cold as Keystone City's number one hero, despite being a rogue
-Aquaman being a bad-ass and sinking Western Europe then fighting WW
-Cyborg in Superman's role as most popular hero, while Superman is still a kid stuck in a secret lab
-The all-new Secret Seven led by Shade the Changing Man
-Deadman and the Flying Graysons

There's all that and more, so I think there'll be guaranteed something for everyone.

I wrote a little skit about it, and here, here it goes: