Well folks this is it; today's my 200th post. Oh don't worry, it's not that big of a deal, as Dan does 200 posts a day on his aussie head, so no big whoop there. I will say I am glad and a little pleased with myself for having stuck with this for so long. As I've mentioned before, I have creative ADD, so that means being amused with one project, getting bored, and then moving on to something else. Commitment issues much? Not in the relationship department, but creatively, yes, very much so.
Anyhoo, here's my 200th post named after one of my favorite Ted Nugent songs, "Cat Scratch Fever."
Catman: "Hey pretty kitty, it is still considered bestiality if we do it with or cat-suits on?"
Cheetah: "How the hell should I know? This isn't a costume, this is my real skin you jack-ass! You're thinking of the other Cheetah."
Catman: "Oh yeah....Grandma Cheetah. Ehh, and no!"
Catman: "Sooo, you free tonight?"
Cheetah: "Seriously? After not even knowing this is my real skin, you want to go out with me?"
Catman: "Pretty much, yeah."
Cheetah: "Fuck it! I did "Snapper" Carr, so this can't be that bad. Take me home daddy, I'm all yours tonight!"
Catman: "Hell yeah!"
Catman: "Oh yeah, ummm. Wait what the hell's that? Is that kitty litter? Fuck it, I'm hardcore!"
Cheetah: "Umm hmm, that's right fucker, pull my tail!
Cheetah: "Aww, yeah, yeah, that's the spot. Pull me tail harder you son of a bitch!"
Catman: "Ye-ahhh! Damn you're hot tonight baby! I'll pull that tail all night long, I don't give a fuck! Damn you're a dirty girl!"
Dex-Star: "Oh hey guys have you seen------Whaaaaaat!? Inter-Species Erotica!? Harugphmprh!"
Catman: "You can watch all you want, but you are not getting in on this, capeice? I don't care what Lady Gaga says, it is gay on a three-way.....unless it's two chicks, then it's okay."
Ha ha! As a friendly reminder, always remember to have your pets spayed or neutered.......
Hot skit coming through! As in fresh off the presses, because I just took the pictures and finished this skit today folks. So yeah, you're welcome:)
Today I finally make use of my CSA Owlman figure, and his also debuting opponent, 1st Appearance Batman. As in Batman when he carried a gun. Yeah. Think about that little fun fact, whilst you simultaneously recall how he became Batman in the first place. Crazy huh? What can I say, this was fresh off the Pulp era of "Heroic" crimefighters. If they didn't have a superpower, odds were they were packing heat.
So with that in mind, I give you "The Bat who shot Liberty Valence."
Owlman: "Well, well , well. Look who it is. Grampa Batman himself. And look, you're still wearing those gay purple gloves too! What are you going to, slap me to death with your sissy hands? Ha ha!"
Owlman: "And oh look; you have a gun too. What are you going to do with that thing? Shoot confetti and rainbows out of it? Knowing you, you probably have a whole gay pride parade in that thing Ha ha."
Batman: "How about I shoot you in the damn face with it? Is that tough enough for you?"
Owlman: "Seriously? You're not going to shot me. Everybody knows Batman doesn't k----------"
Batman: "Well this Batman does, because I'm the goddamn Batman.....Bitch!"
Bucky-Cap: "Oh hey Batman. Have you seen my gun lately, because I have been looking everywhere for it?"
The goddamn Batman: "Does it look like this?"
Bucky-Cap: "Yeah, yeah that's my gun. Were'd you find it?"
-Bucky-Cap suddenly sees the now dead Owlman lying on the ground.
Bucky-Cap: Aww shit, I did not just see that. You know what, you keep that. It's more your color anyway since it matches your costume and all."
The Goddamn Batman: "I think I will Buck, I think I will since those cheap bastards from Mattel didn't bother to give me one."
Yeah Mattel, what gives? The 4Horsemen did an awesome job sculpting this version of Batman, even though the head could just as easily go to the Alex Ross/Kingdom Come version. But still, no gun? It's part of his freaking history folks, he used to use a fucking gun! Not for very long, but he did.
Anyways, the title of this skit should sound familiar to some of you, or at least to your parents and/or grandparents. It's a riff off of the old western called "The Man who shot Liberty Valence", starring Jimmy Stewart and John Wayne. It's not a bad movie at all, especially for me since I don't usually watch old westerns. Youtube it if you're interested enough.
Well that's me, so have a good rest of the week and weekend folks.
Monday's my 200th post, and I think you might like what I got in store for you guys. Maybe not, but we'll see.
Here's a quick one today folks. It's been sitting around for awhile, and I just found my dialogue/script notes so I could finish it. So enjoy this musical blast from two months past!(See what I did there? Yeah, you did)
This is for you Star;)
Negative Man: "Ohhhh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz. My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends. Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends. So ohhhhhh Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz."
Robotman: "Dammit Lar! Will you shut up for a minute? I can't even think around here will all of your yarbling and crap. It's killing my mechanical ears."
Negative Man: "Not a big Janis Joplin fan I take it. Well how about this? "I'm a dancing, dancing, dancing; I'm a dancing machineeeee. Oh baby!"
Robotman: "Yeah I get it; The Jackson 5, ha ha, very funny. Now Come on Lar, cut it out already."
Negative Man: "Don't stop 'til you get enough."
Robotman: "That does it! We're goin' to the Chief so's he can fix ya'! I swear, I think that radioactivity's finally affectin' your brain!"
Negative Man: "Baby pleaseeeee, go all the way.....it feels so right...being with you tonightttt!"
Robotman: Alright Casey Kaseam, who's that?"
Negative Man: "The Rasberries."
Robotman: "Cranberries? What ya' on your period or something?"
Negative Man: "No the band's called the Rasberries."
Robotman: "Sounds like a bunch a silly fruits ta me!"
Robotman: "Tell me something Lar, did your mom happen to drink while she was pregnant with you?"
Negative Man: "Ha, ha. Why?"
Robotman: "Good grief!"
Bonus scene:
Negative Man: "Uh Cliff, could you help me up? I'm kinda' stuck like this."
Robotman: "But you were doing so good there Fred Astaire. Naw, I wouldn't want to impede on a great artist like yourself."
What it be like people? I'm sorry was that a little too gangsta' for you?
Today's skit involves another brief shout-out to that comedy classic Super Troopers.
See if you can guess which comedic line comes directly from the movie.
Enjoy!
Nite-Lok: "And that was the first time I got space-herpes."
Dex-Star: "Hurpmaghhhafh!"
Nite-Lok: "Oh it was easy to cure, but my private parts burned for almost a week."
Dex-Star: "Wait, so who gave it to you?"
Nite-Lok: "Um, I don't really want to say, and let's leave it at that."
Dex-Star: "Are you serious bro? You just don't tell someone you got space-herpes, but then don't reveal who gave 'em to you. Come on, spill."
Nite-Lok: "Okay now this is going to sound bad at first, but keep in mind that it hasn't actually been proven.....yet. She was a stunning creature named Dai-Glo, and as it turns out, she maybe, MAYBE, is my sister."
Dex-Star: "Whaaaaaaat!? Your sister!? Hurargphmfgharm!"
Nite-Lok: "I said maybe. We all look alike where I come from anyways. Oh do stop that retching. It's disgusting."
Dex-Star: "G**Damn man! And to think they say I'm nasty. At least I never committed incest. Although there was that one chick I banged that looked very familiar, but I though it was just kitty litter in my eye. Oh God, Huargmpghargpmf!"
Kind of reminds of that jokes from Clerks 2. You know, the one about Inter-species erotica? Good times.
Speaking of things that are inappropriately funny, one of my new favorite shows on Comedy Central is a show called Tosh 2.0. You might have heard about it, and then thought "What the hell's that all about?"
Well I'll tell you what it's all about: It's a show that stars comedian Daniel Tosh(if he wasn't white, I'd swear that'd be an awesome Jamaican name) as he and his staff go through funny clips from the internet. Now yes I know there are dozens of shows like this out there, or it sure seems that way, but this one I swear is good.
With bits like his Web Redemption, Tweetment(funny as hell non-medical advice) and Video Breakdown, Tosh 2.0 proves its way better than those other shows. Of course what really made me a fan of the show, is Daniel Tosh. Let me explain: He's not just funny, he's inappropriately funny! He cracks wise on stupid people and on people or situations where you feel kind of bad to laugh at, but you do anyway. That's what he does, but better. He says just about anything, but well within the limits of the typical standards and practices followed by most cable networks. In sort, he's funny without having to resort to cussing.
Plus the man's extremely quick-witted. Now sure you can say "But that's because he's going off jokes already written by a team of writers." Maybe. But I'd liked to think, as he often proves with his 20-second time clock where he uses as many disses/insults as he can think of in that time span, that it's all him.
Here's some samples of of the show, and that inappropriate humor I love:
This one's called "Is it racist?" and if you watch the clip, you'll see why.
Here's another one where he lets those wondeful people on Twitter write out his own will:
And finally one more clip to illustrate his comedic genius. Things you should never say as you run into a room:
and part 2:
Yep yep, this is why I'm a big fan of the show. It fits my sense of humor to the fucking T!
And hey I'm not complaining because I'm doing what I love, but the next two guys in today's skit aren't as happy about their current employment status. Will that change? Let's find out.
Blue Devil: "So, it looks like we're back in business now with the whole reboot thing going on. It does feel good to be employed again, but I'll admit I'm not too crazy about my new outfit. See?
It's like I died and woke and up in Rob Halford's closet, mixed with a little Chris Angel for extra spice. Eww!
Oh, and here's yours:
That one kind of looks just like your old one."
Black Vulcan: "Whatever man, that don't even look like me. And shit, at least you got a job man. I mean I have all these damn powers, and I still don't even rate a money loan commercial or a kid's birthday party!"
Blue Devil: "Hey don't knock a kid's birthday party man! All the free cake and ice cream you want, and sometimes you get to hook up with a single mom or desperate housewife. Heh, heh. Not bad for a clown gig huh? Besides, we both have jobs now partner. You're in the same rebooted boat as me Black Lighting. Yeah!"
Black Vulcan: "I'm not Black Lighting fool! I'm Black Vulcan! Damn, even the blue-skinned demon guy shows me no respect."
Blue Devil: "Oh shit, I'm sorry man. It's just....you......well you know?"
Black Vulcan: "Know what you horned, honky racist? That all of us black guys with electrical powers look the same? Is that what you were gonna' say? Man fuck you and John Wayne!"
Blue Devil: "Well yeah, don't you?"
Black Vulcan: "*Sigh*....Yes. I blame it on those motherf**king white devils in charge over at DC. They screwed Tony Isabella, and now they're screwing me. Damn!"
This is dedicated to Tony Isabella, famous creator of Black Lighting. If you know anything about his long problematic history with DC, then you know how the recent developments hasn't exactly helped their strained relationship any. It looks like DC is looking for a possible legal loophole by possibly/maybe renaming Black Lighting to Black Lightening, as a way to retain sole ownership of said character. Dirty, dirty move DC! And yes, just changing those few letters makes the possibly new name look that much more ridiculous.
I really just don't get what is up with DC lately. They've successfully screwed over the creators of Superman, forced CC Beck out of business and then bought up Captain Marvel only to continually shit on him and his family, run off and royally screwed Alan Moore over the rights to Watchmen, and of course this as well.
Is it due to the inherent corruptness and greed of corporations/large businesses, that when they reach level, they automatically turn into grade-A assholes?
And yes I know they're a business in a business to make money, but that doesn't mean you have to leave your morals and good conscience at the door.
Well on to brighter topics, as the action figure Gods smiled down on me recently. While I had no luck @ Wal-Mart, I did stumble onto some really nice finds @ K-Mart.
Right now they seem to have a 50% off sale on all toys, and really helped me out when I found these in giant aisle display:
Yeah these guys.
I intitally skipped them the last time I was @ Toys R' Us, but then I found them buried behind the new Batman movie figures of Bane and Batman. I was going to just buy Catwoman, but then she rang up as only 6$. Ha, ha! So I quckly ran back, and picked up the 1st App. Batman as well.
You can go to Itsalltrue.net for a real comprehensive review, but take it from me, these are really nice figures.
Then I saw another figure there that isn't usually there:
Yep, this is the Arkham Asylum version of Nightwing, but carried on the Batman: Legacy wave. I passed him over last Friday, but then after reading and watching some reviews on him, decided to snatch him up yesterday. And yes, he too was only 6$. Go me.
Normally I wouldn't get a DC figure that wasn't exclusively from the DCUC brand. Just ask Goo about how far my snobbery goes concerning only buying those and Marvel Legends figures. But since he was roughly in the same scale, and has mostly the same type of articulation you'd find on the DCUC version, I got him anyways. The pain job's snazzy, and he looks great detail-wise. He comes w/ his black sticks, and a small mini-poster, as do all/most figures from the Batman: Legacy line.
Plus I'm really not sure when I'll have an opportunity outside of buying the DCUC version online, to get a Nightwing figure.
Speaking of Wally world, I was surprised to find this little bugger there near the magazine section:
For only 10$, I got this nice TPB. It collects Batman: Vengence of Bane, Bane of the Demon, and some excerpts/origins from the 52 series.
So not a bad read, and it really gets the reader and/or potential new fan into the last Nolan directed Batman movie that comes out July 20th. I myself can't wait, and will break my solemn vow just this once, to go to an actual movie theater, brave those miserable and annoying kids/teens/tweens, and watch the Goddamn Batman on a movie screen. Folks I haven't watched done this since the last one came out a couple of years ago. So I'm really stoked to see it.
So what did you do this past weekend?
Also, a possible new feature over at the House of Fun, is video of the theme song for the day.
I see it as another chance to show of my musical knowledge and interests. You fortunate people can be entertained and possibly be introduced, or re-introduced to old/new classics.
For today's selection, I picked a very appropriate song, given the today's topic.
Here's Public Enemy, and one of many hits from them, "Fight the power".
What? Who said you had to be only black to enjoy PE?
So how was your 4th of July? Good? Bad? Turrible?(terrible in Cleveland speak)
Well fear not, because I have a brand-spanking new skit to wash down yesterday's festivities.
So sit back and relax, and enjoy your holiday hangover helper.
Enjoy!
Hawk: "Hey Dove, have you seen the Creeper around lately?"
Dove: "Uh yeah. The last time I saw him, he was riding around on a bicycle screaming and meowing at random squirrels he saw just to mess with them. The whole thing's pretty funny if you see it."
Hawk: "What!? I knew the Creeper was crazy, but that's just fucking sick!"
Dawn: "Nawww, he's harmless. In fact in his own warped way he's just a sweetheart.
Hey, there he is now! He sure looks like he's having a good time"
Hawk: "Okay first that Deadguy, then that pathetic Jersey Shore-lookin' reject you met in that club, and I wouldn't even into get into depth about that tranny in Midway City, and now Creeper? You really, really need to re-think your choices in men. Seriously. Get help."
-Yeah this scene was influenced by Pee Wee Herman's 1st movie, Pee Wee's Big Adventure.
Creeper: "Aww, wook at that widdle one! I think I scared him to death.
Oh he's not dead he's only sleeping....or dancing, I can never be sure with little animals.
God I love being me! If I wasn't, I think I'd maybe be an anal-retentive crimefighter with a bat fetish, or maybe a deranged clown with Asperger's. Ha, ass-burger!
I'm sure around this time today, you're grilling burgers and dogs, drinking cold beer, and getting ready to blow shit up with fireworks. God bless ya' if you are, because our brave men and women serving in the military give and continue to give us the opportunity to do all this.
Speaking, of the military, this leads into an very opportunistic and strangely appropriate post for today.
I recently read on the comicbookresources.com forum, a thread where some people asked if Captain America was gay. I too wondered about that, especially given how now GA Green Lantern Alan Scott was recently turned gay. But don't worry, I'm not turning Cap gay. But it is interesting to know what he's into since he's a man straight out of the 40's.
Let's have a look shall we?
Captain America: "Hey Bucky, remember back in the war when we used to have war-buddies?"
Bucky-Cap: "Uh yeah, Cap I do."
Cap: "God those were good times. Hunkering down in the cold and often, blood-filled trenches, with nothing but a war-buddy to keep you warm and grounded to reality. Of course nowadays you have that "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Good, good stuff. Best thing Clinton ever did besides getting a blowjob from that nice young woman from Hooters."
Bucky-Cap: "No Cap, Obama repelled that policy awhile ago."
Cap: "Oh. He did, did he? Damn shame. I wonder what they'll do now?"
Cap: "Did I ever tell you back in the 60's we used to call blowjobs LBJ's? Yeah, LBJ himself thought that was a hoot. Of course the "L" sometimes meant different things. Sometimes it meant Long or Little, depending on the size of the President's little Commander-in-Chief. If you get my drift."
Bucky-Cap: "*Sigh*, yes Cap, I get it. No, this isn't awkward at all. Somebody just kill me now!"
