Wednesday, June 13, 2012

In Sinestro we trust

Just a quick one today folks. Well a quick one for me, anyways:

Hal: "Ugh my aching head! Uh, the that's the last time I let Guy talk me into going shot for shot with Tony Stark for awhile. Damn, that man's an animal! He's not even human! Uh, even with one of the most powerful weapons in the universe on my hand, and I still can't fix my hangover."

Sinestro: "Hello Jordan. What's your problem this time?"

Hal: "Oh great, it's you! I don't have time for your shit right now, so come back later when my headache's gone."

Sinestro: "Hangover again? How predictable Jordan. Here, use this."

Hal: "What in the hell is that?"

Sinestro: "It's an old Korugarian device that's great for curing headaches, hangovers and small amounts of brain damage. So it'll cure your hangover, but not your stupidity."

Hal: "Fuck you Sinestro."

Sinestro: "It was good enough for Abin Sur."

Hal: "What, really!? Well....if it was okay for Abin Sur, then okay. Thanks Sinestro. I guess you're not that bad after all."

Sinestro: "Ha ha haha! Fool! I can't believe he fell for that "If it was good enough for Abin Sur"line. That idiot has no idea I just placed a living virus on his head. Ha ha, priceless."

Hal: "Damn Sinestro was right! I feel a lot better now."


John Stewart: "Hey Hal I--, what the hell!? Hal you got Despotellis the living virus on your head!"

Hal: What!? Arrgh! But I thought? Sinestro!!!!!!"

Yeah that funny little guy is kind of neat. It was bitch trying to keep him on Hal's head though, since even with scotch tape he still kept slipping and sliding off.


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

"The Doctor will see you now"....

Another day, another dollar. Well not for me, but for someone somewhere probably.
I finished writing some new skit material, now I just have to wait for the weather to improve so I can start taking pictures and then post. Damn you weather!

Here's one I did finish, and it's a little thing I call "The Doctor will see you know"....

Dr. Strange: "Tony, have you seen my cape? I-, oh for the love of Hogarth! Tony give me back my cape!"

Iron Man: "Come on Strange, I look totally fucking pimp in this thing.

Dr. Strange: "Tony, you have no idea what kind of magical forces you're messing with. You could unleash an untold amount of destruction and devastation just by wearing that thing."

Iron Man: "Oh come on, you're just mad because I look better in this thing than you do. Besides, according to an old issue of What If?, I was Sorcerer Supreme instead of you once. See:


"See? I make this shit look good!"

Dr. Strange: "Sigh. That was another world Tony. It hardly counts at all"

Iron Man: "Yeah so? Plus, I can make up cool spells too. Check it out: 
"By the loose whores of the Sunset Strip, I banish you straight to the hell of an AA meeting!"
 or 

"By the drunken antics of Lindsey Lohan, I sentence you to 100 hours of community service!"

Dr. Strange: "Sign."


Iron Man: "Besides, I can't give it back to you because there's a waiting list to use your cloak."

Dr. Strange: "There's a what!? Dammit Tony!"

Nick Fury: "Damn straight there's a line Captain Hocus Pocus, and I'm next after the Booze hound over there."

 Dr. Strange: "Well how in the hell do I get home now?"

Nick Fury: "Click your heels together 3 times and say there's no place like home. No? Fine just use my jetpack."

Dr. Strange: "I really need to find better friends than this. I hope Wong's making tea, because I have a massive fucking headache!"

Nick Fury: "The name's Fury, Dr. Fury sweet tits. I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, except bubble gum's for pussies and I'd rather chew on a cuban, so there."

-Look familiar? It should:
Thanks Goo!



Daredevil: "Sweet, I think I can see again! Oh the colors, the beautiful, beautiful colors!
That better be the cloak and not a brain tumor doing this."

Luke Cage: "Yeah boyyyyyy! By the sweet, funky shades of the Harlem Globtrotters, I am Dr. Love!"

Luke Cage: "That's right, that's right. Because I'm a smooth pimp, who lovesssssss the pussy! And this here's my blind manservant, Whitey!"

Daredevil: What!? I'm Daredevil Luke."

Luke Cage: "Uh yeah, this is my manservant Daredevil. He can't see too good, but damn can this man find the pussy. Now can you dig that suckaaaaaaa?"

Daredevil: "I can dig it."



Monday, June 11, 2012

"A look at what could have been....."

Hey people,
How was your weekend? Was it everything you'd though it be and more?

I didn't really do too much this past weekend myself. I was mostly lazy(as is usual huh Goo?)
Although I did manage to snatch up the Green Lantern Classic 3-pack(but more like 2-pack) of B'dg, Dex-Star, and Despotellis.

I admit that I mostly got these little guys because they were are on sale for $12, and the C&C Stel torso piece. So he's almost up and running, but is missing both arms, and a leg. Poor bastard!


Then friday, I broker down and bought Cheetah; again mostly for the part she had with her, namely Trigon's other leg. My K-mart had both the modern version w/black top and black pants, which does look good, but I prefer the original, so now I have one more OG member of the Legion of Doom.

I don't know why, but I have a funny feeling I might actually buy the modern one later as well. Don't ask me why, but I guess I'm just a masochist that way. Plus I saw online, how someone made a cool custom Tigra figure using the modern Cheetah base. Not bad either.
Here's the link:
http://kylerobinsoncustoms.com/toysoup/viewtopic.php?f=41&t=2079
 and here's the picture:

Speaking of, it's a shame to see the DCUC line end so prematurely. From what I've gathered from Itsalltrue.net, the line won't restart until next year. There are lots of reasons why the line was stopped for now, depending on who you ask, but it all boils down to consumer backlash over poor distribution and the last assortment of figures. Then the whole Club Infinite subscription-only  line began, and fan enthusiasm plummeted, especially after being told of the DCUC line being converted into an all-new All-Star line, and the NuDCU figures that were advertised . At least I think it is, because those figures looked craptastic. Well maybe not the Flashpoint Plastic Man, but that's just me.

It's a real shame the GLClassics and Batman:Legacy lines didn't last long either. I think I know why the GL line didn't last, and that was probably due to an over-saturation of GL figures. I know that sounds silly considering this was during last year's "Year of Green Lantern", but I think that, plus a poor economy caused this line's downfall.

Personally, I'd have loved to see two more waves. Think about it, we never did get a proper Parallax figure, and that could've easily been solved by using the GLC waves as a way of doing it. Just use the CSA's Power Ring head, and a new body, and there you go. And here's a thought; the Lantern Deputies of DCUC Wave 18 could've been  GLC Wave 3. Just think of the assortment of characters we could've seen instead.

And then there's the other villains that Mattel and Geoff Johns have seemingly forgotten. I'd fix that in these two waves, and add some other GLCorps members.


Wave 3:


1). Parallax.


2). Evil Star w/ small Starlings


3). Count Vertigo


4). GL Kyle Rayner( traditional 90's costume)


5). Arisa


6). Saint Walker


7). Indigo Lantern  Indigo-1?


 C&C: Hector Hammond

Wave 4:

1). Lord Sonar


2). Goldface


3). Major Disaster


4). Alpha Lantern, maybe Boddika?


5). Dr. Polaris


6). Red Lantern Bleez


7). Star Sapphire Fatality?


C&C: Krona or a Guardian


These are mere suggestions, but I imagine a good bit of these like the old school silver age villains such as Dr. Polaris, Major Disaster, Count Vertigo, and Lord Sonar would sell pretty well. I can only hope right?

Next up, is the Batman: Legacy line. Poor sales and poor character selection combined to doom this line to cancellation as well. If another 2 waves could have been squeezed out, we might have seen the rest of the more popular members of Batman's Rogues Gallery, and even a few heroic supporting characters as well.
I add more figures to the wave and the traditional C&C's to help boast the "gotta' have it" factor of the line. Here's how the line-up I'd make for Waves 3 and 4:

Wave 3:

1). NuDCU Batman


2). The Ventriloquist w/Scarface


3). Dr. Hugo Strange or Doctor Hurt


4). Jason Todd Robin


5). Talia Al Guhl


6). Batwoman

C&C: KGBeast


Wave 4:


1). Super Powers Penguin


2). Jason Todd Red Hood


3). SA Clayface


4). Batzarro


5). Ra's Al Guhl


6). Azrael(Michael Lane)


C&C: Killer Croc


With those out of the way, the next logical possible lines of figures, at least for me, comes down to Superman and Flash. More than the other JLA'ers(sorry Aquaman and Wonder Woman) Superman and Flash have the more recognizable cast of villains and heroes that would make up and ideal wave of figures, not to mention cover those that haven't already been made in the proper DCUC line.

Here's my suggestion for figures that would make up the two waves each of both respective franchises.

Superman: Man of Steel:

Wave 1:


1). SA Metallo w/chest piece that opens up and holds tiny piece of glowing kryptonite


2). GA/Earth-2 Superman


3). Proper Guardian or Jor-El or Red Sun Superman


4). Pre-Crisis Supergirl


5). Modern Parasite


6). Turtle Boy Jimmy Olson


C&C: Modern Brainiac

Wave 2:


1). Business Suit Lex Luthor


2). Gangbuster


3). Emperor Joker Black costume Superman 


4). Lois Lane w/Mr. Mxylpltz


5). General Zod


6). Conduit


C&C: Doomsday


Now for the Flash wave of figures I'd suggest:


Flash: The Fastest man alive:


Wave 1:


1). Wally West Flash


2). Max Mercury


3). Weather Wizard


4). GA Johnny Quick


5). The original Trickster


6). Black Flash/Death Flash


C&C: The Turtle w/ floating turtle craft


Wave 2:


1). The Top


2). Heatwave


3). Abbra Kadabra


4). Jesse Quick


5). Bart Allen Kid Flash or Impulse


6). Zoom II or SA Captain Boomerang or Captain Boomerang II(Owen Mercer)


C&C: Girder or Solovar


Finally, if it ever came to this, I'd like to see a Justice League-specific line of figures. This would complete the rest of the popular silver age villains and heroes that never made or wouldn't normally be included in future DCUC waves.

Justice League:

Wave 1:


1). Elongated Man(Red and black costume/ w purple and white costume variant)


2). Vixen


3). Felix Faust


4). Chronos


5). Prometheus


6). Vandal Savage or Ocean Master


C&C: The Shaggy Man

Wave 2:

1). The Key(SA w/ MA variant)


2). Queen Bee (MA w/SA variant)


3). Dr. Light


4). Vibe 


5). Satellite Era Zatanna


6). Proper SOTA Atom or Fire or Ice


C&C: Proper Despero or Congorilla


Whew! So that's what I'd do if I was in charge of Mattel and had a lot more money to spend as far as materials and supplies go. I know Mattel claims they only have so much money to devote towards sculpting, accessories, etc. But it would be nice to get better quality figures to reflect the rising costs. I don't blame the 4Horsemen because they have to work with what's given to them, but it would be nice to see consistent double-joints/double-knees, etc, from now on with future waves.

Here's hoping DC/Mattel gets its shit together for next year, both retail-wise and subscription-wise, or else the same problems are going to pop up again. God I hope DCUC doesn't become on-line retail only!


Thursday, June 07, 2012

"Desperate, but not serious"

If the title of today's post sounds even vaguely familiar, it's because you are or were, a fan of Adam Ant in the 80's.

I discovered this lost/forgotten little gem of a song last week while watching the VH1 Classic channel. I never heard the song or saw the video before, but I got to admit it's pretty damn catchy. So yeah I like the song, and the snazzy riff, but the main thing I like about the song is the title itself. "Desperate, but not serious." Yeah, that pretty much sounds like my current love life, or rather the lack thereof. I've been currently trying out the whole internet dating thing, but let's just say it's not working out too well, and leave it at that. Definitely not a route you'd wanna' go, but are kinda' forced to if you find your city's current crop of potential girlfriends leaves much to be desired. Ah yes, the thrill of the chase eh?

Here's the video:



Gotta' love the 80's huh? And now that I think about it, it kind of fits the old reports that Adam Ant was a raving, paranoid lunatic, who was convinced that someone was going to kill him. Was he perhaps listening to too much Rockwell at the time? Add to that the "reports" that he was hooked on drugs, and yeah I guess I'd be paranoid to if I was up to my eyeballs in shit that made me see stuff that wasn't there; you know the wonderful drugs like Meth, LSD, Crack, Bath Salts, and Synthetic Marijuana. Oh and there's also Goo's favorite, Windex. Don't believe me? Go ask him. Hi Goo!

Alright, on to the funny, and today's skit that involves that wascally wabbit himself, Bat-Mite! Oh yeah, and the the Dynamic Duo are there too.

Bat-Mite: "Greetings Dynamic Duo. It is I, Bat-Mite, and I'm bored. And you know what that means...."

Robin: "Holy gosh and gee wilikers Batman! How are we going get rid of Bat-Mite this time?"

Batman: "Easy chum, easy. Bat-Mite's a harmless little elf, so there's no need to worry about him. We'll just trick him into leaving like we always do."

Robin: "I don't know Batman, Bat-Mite seems harmless, but he is just like that Mr. Mxyplytz guy that Superman fights all the time. Maybe we shouldn't take him so lightly."

Batman: "Nonsense Robin. We'll just ignore him like we usually do and he'll go back to wherever he comes from. Besides, I have to take a big Bat-Dump, so I'll let you handle this one by yourself."

Robin: (Sarcastically)"Gee, thanks Batman."

Bat-Mite: "Hey! I heard that! Why are you two fags talking like I'm not even here?"

Bat-Mite: "So I'm harmless eh? I'll show you who's harmless!"

Batman: "What the hell!? I feel so strange."

Robin: "Oh fuck! This isn't going to end well"

Bat-Mite: "Ta-daaa! How you like me know Batman?"

Robin: "Holy shit! Bat-Mite just turned Batman into a shot-glass!"

Bat-Mite: "So I did junior, whatta' gonna' do about it? Cry?"

Robin: "Well gosh, could you at least fill it up? I think Batman would want it that way."

Bat-Mite: "Hahahhahahaha! Ain't I a stinka?"



Yes folks, that is an honest to god Batman shot glass. I got that at Spenser's last month(Thanks Starrypluto!)
There was a Superman one too, and some others, but I forget who they were. I just wanted the Batman one 'cause he's one of my favorite DC superheroes. And yes, it's as awesome as it looks, especially when you're drinking a shot of Crown from a Bat-Shot-glass. Fucking A! and that's why I love America.

Have a good weekend people.



Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Reviewing a Dark Horse

A couple of weeks ago I watched the documentary on George Harrison's life, George Harrison: Living in the material world, by famous director Martin Scorsese, and damn what a really nice one it is!

Here's the link to the trailer in case you guys haven't already seen it:


I readily admit that my favorite member of the Beatles is Paul Mccartney. I love and enjoy his music, both his contributions to the Beatles, his Wings', and solo stuff. After that I guess is John, then George, then poor Ringo's last. Sorry Ringo.

That being said, after watching this well put together documentary on Harrison's life, made me appreciate him even more that I'd thought possible.

Watching the over 2 hour movie, Scorsese beautifully illustrates the type of life Harrison lived, and what he encountered as a rockstar and celebrity. He does that through various interviews with friends and family members and film footage of concerts and events he was part of. These interviews and film footage make you feel as though you're there right alongside Harrison, going through these things right along with him, as if you're really there.

You learn how spiritual he became, starting in 1966, when he first became aware of Indian music and Hindusim. He threw himself into that so heavily, that he even convinced the rest of the Beatles to join him on a trip to India to meditate and better themselves mentally after feeling burned out enough to stop touring altogether. There they met with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, who taught them all about Transcendental Meditation, and the like. Of course, in the end, certain things happened that caused the whole trip to be seen as a disaster.

This didn't dissuade George from his spiritual path, but only served to strengthen his resolve. Over the years he would continue his spiritual and musical growth outside the Beatles after they officially broke up in 1970, and that became evident with the continuous flow of material he put out one after another. This occurred because while in the Beatles he only contributed a small amount of songs for their albums, while John and Paul wrote the majority of the hits. Over time he stockpiled many classic songs, such as "All things must pass", "I dig love", "Awaiting you all, and "Wah Wah."

Then there's his historic first of it's kind, concert for Bangladesh in 1970.
This was all due to George Harrison's good friend and mentor Ravi Shankar, coming to him to tell him about the plight in Bangladesh at the time. Harrison and record produce Phil Spector(yeah that crazy guy)set it up, and he along with a bunch of other friends and musicians performed 2 two-hour concerts live to be recorded on film. This film contains footage from the concert, and what a performance it was! Even ever faithful Ringo was here, although John and Paul were not.


The concert raised millions, and was regarded as the standard with which future celebrity benefits were modeled after.


Other things touched on in the documentary that stood out to me was his relationship with friend and fellow Musician Eric Clapton. These two shared a life-long friendship, and even shared girlfriends!

You see Harrison used to be married to Patti Boyd, who became over time romantically interested in Eric Clapton. Soon things came to a head, and Eric was upfront with his friend, and told him how much he had fallen in live his friends' wife. Clapton claims Harrison told him to "take her", and so Clapton did just that. The interviews with Boyd and Clapton on this topic are very interesting to watch. I knew Clapton had fallen in love with Boyd, because as the world knows, that's where his famous hit song "Layla" comes from, but to hear the progression of how that all came about, and Harrison's nonchalant attitude about the whole thing kind of had me going "huh?"
Of course their friendship survived all that, and they continued on as friends until Harrison's death.

That's another topic that is very interesting to hear about. Harrison became diagnosed with throat cancer in 1999. Following that was an attack on his and his wife's lives by a deranged man who felt he was "on a mission from God" to kill him. Both Harrison and his wife Olivia survived the attack, but Olivia felt the brutal attack seemed to cause a remission of the cancer.

He ultimately succumbed to a brain tumor, and passed away in 2001.

What struck me was how Olivia was explaining that Harrison was preparing himself for death. He was preparing his spirit throughout his life to leave his body on his own terms. Very fascinating. Would that we could all do that.

And of course there's little bits in-between all that, like how he personally financed Monty Python's first movie, "The Life and Times of Brian, by putting up his own house as collateral. So yeah, you can blame/thank Harrison for that depending on how you feel about them.

And of course there's a little group called The Travelling Wilburys......

If you haven't ever checked this movie out, or have have heard about it, but been on the fence about it, I strongly urge you to see it, beg, borrow, or steal it. It's just that damn good!

Scorsese demonstrates here why he's so good when it comes to movies and documentaries, that you'll find yourself instantly becoming both a fan of his, and Harrison's. So go check it, and you won't regret that you did.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Tales from the Top Shelf: Hulk hate customizing!

What's up guys?

I just went to bleedingcool.com, where I usually go to get interesting comic news, and I came across the 1st 5 pages of Darwyn Cooke's Before the Watchmen#1.

Here's the link to those pages:
http://www.bleedingcool.com/2012/06/05/the-first-five-pages-of-before-watchmen-by-darwyn-cooke/

I have to say, not only does the art look damn fine, but the way the story and narration is framed is very well done. Now I know most of you who have read this blog in the past, know I haven't been that kind towards the whole "Watchmen Sequel" business from DC, especially considering what a big fuck you this is to Alan Moore. That being said, I am changing my tune a little, only in the fact that as far as Cooke's contributions go, so far it looks good.

I don't know how the rest of the mini's will do, but I am intrigued by what Cooke's doing. I've always loved and appreciated his art, ever since first discovering him in the early 2000's. And of course I bought his awesome work and love letter to DC's Silver Age, The New Frontier.(although I need to get on the ball and buy the 1st Vol.) Hell, I even bought the New Frontier dvd movie because I liked this project so much.

So while I still think DC is blatantly dicking Moore over, and shamelessly putting this out to distract from how poor their sales for the NuDCU titles are doing(with the exception of GL, Batman, Aquaman, and JL), I realize perhaps I was being too quick to judge some of the creators involved. Perhaps they'll encourage new fans to check out the original. If they did, it's not like that'd be a bad thing......

On to my original work, here's a fresh new skit for you guys under my Tales from the Top Shelf series. It's a quick little ditty about the Hulk. Enjoy!



Spider-Man: "Hey Hulk, something I've been meaning to ask you for awhile."

Hulk: "Leave Hulk alone puny web-head!"

Spider-Man: "No man, it's cool, it's cool. I just wanna' know what's up with all that white stuff on your head?"

Daredevil: "What white stuff? I don't see any white stuff?"

Spider-Man: "That's because you're blind Matt, sheesh! You'd think a guy would remember being blind."

Hulk: Web-head no want to know; it embarrassing."

Spider-Man: "C'mon Hulkie, it can't be that bad."

Hulk: "Okay, Hulk tell. Puny human try to customize Hulk into a Solomon Grundy figure, but not finish job. He put weird white liquid into Hulk's hair, turning it white. Then puny human color in Hulk's blue pants with black magic marker, making Hulk's pants a messy black. But puny human no finish job, and now Hulk look like hot mess."

Spider-Man: "Oh my god that's freaking hilarious! Aha haha ahahahaha. Oh man, that explains the dirty looks the Legion of Doom have been giving us from the bottom shelf though. Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Black Spider-Man: "Oh man this isn't going to end well for Pete. He shouldn't be laughing at Hulk like that. Hulk's gonna' fuck him up for this."

Daredevil: "Yeah, this isn't going to end well for Peter. I need to get the hell of here once I find my cane."

Captain Marvel: "Just keep perfectly still Mar-Vel or else that perverted publishing company that stole your last name will find you and kill you off again in a stupid crossover or story-line again. Hmm. But it is work. No, I'll stay still. Safer that way."

Hulk: "Why Web-head laugh at Hulk? Web-head think what puny human do to Hulk funny? Hulk show you what's funny! Hulk Smash!"

Spider-Man: "C'mon man, I wasn't laughing at you just the situation. Oh boy!`whistles`"

Daredevil: "Yeahhhh, I'm leaving before I get blood on newly washed uniform."

Black Spider-Man: "Yeahhhh, I'm leaving before I get Pete's blood all over my costume. I just got this thing washed, and blood does not come out easily."

What the Hulk said is true. In my own half-assed way I tried to make a custom Solomon Grundy out of the Gray Hulk that came from the ML Galactus wave. I put white-out in his hair, and used a permanent black marker to color in his pants. I even have an old torn-up coat from an old Toy Biz Mr. Fixit Hulk from the 90's to use for him. Unfortunately I got bored quickly, as I often times do when trying to be creative, and left poor Hulk like that. I don't know what to use to get the white-out out of his hair, so I guess he's stuck like that. Maybe I can still pretend he's Solomon Grundy anyways. That way, I'd have all of the Legion of Doom, except for Giganta, Black Manta, Cheetah, and Grodd.

Oh well........


Monday, June 04, 2012

Short-Shots 2:Attack of the Son of Short-Shot....

Hey People,
having a bitch of a time with my internet, so excuse the delays.

I've had a hell of a weekend, and not the good kind of hell either! I won't bore you guys with the details, because if you wanted to hear/read someone moping about how unfair life is, you'd simply listen to an emo music channel or something. Suffice to say, life isn't and leave it at that.

Someone said "Life is a shit sandwich sometimes, and we all have to take a big bite and swallow." Truer words have never been spoken.

But enough with all that, you came here for the funny(I hope), so let's get to it.

The 1st short skit features the two Batmen I have, the Detective version, and the GA version. I've been wanting to do this particular skit for awhile, but just now got off my lazy ass to make it. Enjoy.

Batman: "Time for bed young man. You have to hit the books hard in the morning, plus your early morning workout."

Robin: "Awwww, but Bruuuce. I don't want to go to bed early. I think I'm old enough to stay up to 10:00pm now, don't you think?"

Batman: "You heard me Dick. Time for bed."

Robin: "Gosh darnnit! Green Arrow lets Roy stay up late."

Batman: "And that's why Roy's doing so well now as a drooling, drugged-up idiot."

Robin: "You're a drooling idiot!"

Batman: "What was that?"

Robin: "Nothing"

GA Batman: "Bruce, it's way past your bedtime young man. "

Batman: "Awwww, but daaaaaad. You said I could stay up late tonight!"

GA Batman: "No buts young man, or else I'll spank yours. Off to bed with you now."

Robin: "Ha ha. You have to go to bed early too."

Batman: "Shut it Dick!"

And finally, here's a skit Dan can get behind, mostly because it's filled with his two favorite fellow Aussies:

Captain Boomerang: "Oi ya' wallaby-lovin', fire-startin' Billy. How the hell are ya'?"

Pyro: "Well if it isn't my favorite bludgerin' bluey? How are ya' ya' damn bogan you? Going to chuck a sickie are ya?"

-Now Imagine furbies, but speaking Austrailan. Yes, it's still gibberish you can't understand. But it's worse. It's with an accent. That's these two.

Cap'n Boomerang: "Come on ya' cockie, let's go out for a coldie."

Pyro: "Can we go to the nearby Outback Steakhouse you reckon?"

Cap'n Boomerang: "Now why would wanna' go to that piss-poor place you silly dag you? They ain't even a proper dinkin Australian restaurant."

Pyro: "I know. That's why I want to go there and burn the whole place to the ground, right along with all those stupid bloody gits! I'll cock a fat watching those bloody yanks burn to death. Well that and the bloomin onion. Amazing appetizer it is."

Cap'n Boomerang: "That's what I like about you Pyro ya' crazy dunny rat. You're always good for a laugh. But now that you mention it, a bloomin' onion and a right mug of Fosters' is right what the doctor ordered."

Both men singing at the same time:

"We come from the land down under. Where women glow and men plunder? 
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? 
You better run, you better take cover." 


And no, I didn't cock a fat when I thought of you Dan. Damn you Aussies have some weird fucking slang! I swear man......






"Closing time. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here."

Well..... I kinda always knew this day would come, and it sure has. It's been a hell of a ride, but it's time to for it end. Ti...