"The Soul-Spell of Father Bliss"

Quick random thought: I was just re-reading the early issues of Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross' Astro City, and in the beginning arc of the title run(#'s 4-9) Aliens pose as superheroes in an attempt to remove them as a threat to their plan to take over Earth. Gee, I wondered, where have I read that before? Oh yeah, that was the main plot of Brian Bendis' Secret Invasion storyline event from the summer of '08. Now I don't know if Bendis ever read Astro City or not, but the fact that he re-used a common plot-point, especially one written in early '97 makes me wonder. I'm not saying he out-right copied Busiek, but I'm saying he possibly didn't either. You be the judge. Oh, and for the record, in my opinion, Busiek's alien invasion was better than Bendis', and it didn't force you buy countless and pointless tie-ins either. Just a thought is all.

For today's Random......Comic......Review.....I decided to review a favorite issue from the 1st Swamp Thing series. Yes, I'm still doing that, so get used to it. I'll at least do one more after this one. This one comes not from the team of Wein/Wrightson, but by the creative team that followed them after they left.

Swampt Thing#15, "The Soul-Spell of Father Bliss" by David Micheline and Nestor Redondo. (Mar-Apr 1975)

 

The story starts off with a bad storm erupting throughout the Louisiana swamp, home of the erstwhile Swamp Thing.  It seems Swampy's hiding out from his friend Lt.Cable, when all of a sudden he finds himself struck by a powerful bolt of lighting. While unconscious, Swampy's friends, Cable,  Abby, Mr. Bolt, and a man named Luke, are shown to be looking for Swampy only a short mile away. They're tired, but committed to finding their friend. Swampy later awakes to find someone helping him up. The older man introduces himself as Father Jonathan Bliss, and he seeks to help and comfort ST. ST decides to go with him to his church to help heal his wounds. Father Bliss leads ST into a old, abandoned church, leaving him to rest in a pew. Father Bliss leaves St in search of ointments, but secretly heads towards to a small, secret chamber. Father Bliss then starts talking to a glowing red orb he calls Nebiros. "Yes dark one, you have chosen well! Our unassuming friend will make the perfect pawn for bringing about the END OF THE WORLD!"

The story then switches scenes to Mr. Bolt, as he searches a section of swamp land, looking for Swampy. He turns around after seeing a giant shadow creeping up on him. A grappling cable appears out of nowhere and captures Bolt, taking him away. Back to the old church, where Father Bliss tries to explain to ST how the church came into such a decrepit state. He blames his former congregation, claiming they had forsaken God and the church, and that they were against all attempts by Father Bliss to bring them back to God. He further states that he had to turn to less conventional methods in an attempt to to save their souls. Father Bliss convinces St to remove some rubble in order to reach his workroom. After doing so, they both go down into the dark and musty workroom, where various mystical artifacts reside. Father Bliss then positions himself in front of an ancient spell-book, and starts to chant an ancient incantation. The chanting lolls Swampy into a very relaxed state of mind, so much so, that he fails to notice the glowing red orb that was seen earlier.

The orb begins to suck the energy out of ST, who only notices what's going on when it's too late. He loses consciousness and falls down to the ground, as Father Bliss comments "I am sorry my son, but there was no other way! Very well Nebiros, do what you will, he is yours!"

The scene switches again back to Cable and his companions as they stumble upon the very church where Father Bliss and their friend is. (Talk about coincidence huh? What are the odds this would ever happen in real life? Only in comic books my friends, only in comic books.)
As they approach the church, they suddenly see their friend. But Abby's quick notice something's not right with Swampy. "Matt, wait! There's something wrong with his eyes!" But before Cable can react, Swampy nails him with a wicked back-hand, knocking him out. ST then goes after Abby, but their new companion, Luke, shoots ST, but to no avail. ST attacks him too, and quickly takes all three of them inside the church. They all awake to finds themselves chained up down in Father Bliss' workroom. There, they notice the glowing red orb, which contains an image of a fallen Alec Holland inside. Bliss calls the orb a Transcendental Globe that houses souls, such as Hollands. Father Bliss goes on to explain that the orb acts as a way station between worlds, allowing a demon named Nebiros to come to our world and possess people. He says that Nebiros needed a host-body to survive in our world, and Swampy's body served as an ideal host. Bliss further claims that when Nebiros becomes fully charged up that he'll have enough power to unleash Armageddon on the world, which is supposed to bring God back down and make people believe in him again. Nice plan huh?

Cable points out to Father Bliss that by allowing Nebiros to bring about Armageddon, that there won't be anyone alive left to believe in God. Bliss starts to question Nebiros, but Nebiros brushes Bliss off, saying "I assured you nothing fool, save the continuance of your own trifling existence! For now I am at full strength and I thirst for the feast of ruin that has been promised me!"  Hey at least he's consistant ain't he folks?
Nebiros then decides to feast on poor Luke's soul, tearing it apart like it was nothing! Cable then attempt to further reason with Father Bliss, asking him if this is his idea of salvation. Cable, continues wearing down Father Bliss in an attempt to dissuade him from what he's doing. Just as it appears that Cable is finally getting through to Bliss, Nebiros turns his attention towards Cable, preparing to tear to his soul apart too. Bliss attempts to stop him though, by uttering a spell designed to remove Nebiros from Swampy's body. But Nebiros proves to be already too powerful and goes after Bliss in attempt to stop him. Somehow Cable gets free, with Abby telling him to smash the globe in order to stop Nebiros. Cable smashes the orb/globe, driving Nebiros out off Swampy's body. All this does is piss Nebiros off even more, and he goes after both Cable and Abby once again. But he's stopped by a now conscious ST/Alec, and they both wrestle around until Nebiros gains the upper hand. Nebiros is now in need of a new host body, which Father Bliss readily offers with his own. "No evil one! you'll not harm these innocents! It was I who brought you into this world, and if anyone must suffer for it...let it be me!"

Nebiros does just that, and quickly inhabits the old priest's body. Unfortunately for him, he didn't count on the old man's body being too frail to contain all of Nebiros' power, as they both suddenly burn to death. Father Bliss let's out one final plea, saying "Forgive....me..." before becoming completely consumed in roar of fire. ST and the others high tail it out of the church just as it begins to cave in on itself, burying Father Bliss and Nebiros. The reunited friends lament Luke's death, until they notice the missing Bolt swinging high overhead.

Next: Night of the Warring Dead.....

I liked this issue because of the character of Father Bliss, and how far he'd go just to regain his follower's faith in God again. This who story proves the old saying right about how the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. It seems that's definitely the case here.

Have a good one......

I'm all glee-ed out!

Here's a quick one or today, as I show what happens when a show like Glee gets introduced into the Bat-Universe. It's not pretty.

Yessir, the Goddamn Batman is not a fan of Glee! And to think the Riddler was just trying to be helpful! Oh well.......

As for that little caption from an old issue of Batman, I snagged that from Comicbookresources.com and their top ten goofiest moments in Batman list. Check it out; it's actually pretty amusing, and it's where Batman chastises Robin for "being gay." Yes he actually says that folks. This was back in the 40's before GLAAD came along and would get all up in your kool-aid for making a gay joke.  Ah the good ol' days.......

"I got the Doomsday Prophecy blues"

So, the crazy 89 year-old preacher that claimed the world was gonna' end last saturday is back, and this time he swears it'll happen on October 21st instead. He claims he got his math wrong, and that's why we all didn't burn up and go to hell. Harold Camping, the man responsible for all last week's hysteria, now says instead of 5 months worth of pain, suffering, and needless destruction, it'll all happen at once on Oct. 21st. A Yahoo.com article states Camping claimed earlier in 1994 the world would end then. Maybe he wants the world to end since he's so damn old and decrepit I guess. Numerous news sources talked about him, and now someone else weighs in this topic: you know him very well; you know him as The Spectre.

Oh, and Happy 70th Birthday Bob Dylan!

"The Man Who Wanted Forever"

Well folks, we're still here, so I guess the world didn't end after all. I personally thinks it's sad when doomsday prophesies like this one are trotted out to further scare people into accepting a religion that wouldn't normally follow, or to even cause such an unneeded panic in the first place! The world's bad enough and grim enough as it is without some religious fanatics causing undue stress and worry for the rest of us "Sinners." I hope the people/sheep that fell for this crock of shit feel realllll stupid! And then to make matters worse, I find out that last Thursday or Friday, some woman sacrificed/killed her son in order to prevent the end of the world from coming or as an offering to save her soul or some such nonsense. This is truly a crazy and dangerous world we live in folks; truth really is stranger than fiction at times!

Let's see, watched the season finales of The Simpsons, American Dad, Bob's Burgers, Family Guy. The simpsons one was fine, as was ADad. Bob's burgers was good, while I was disappointed about the Family Guy one. They did their final chapter of their Star Wars tribute they've been doing, called "It's a Trap!" More like "It' Sucks!" The only thing that was slightly interesting was the Seth Green jokes, and then later Seth McFarlene gets his too. I know it's not cool to piss on the creative work of others, but it seems to me that over the last couple of FG seasons, Seth's been "phoning it in", and that shit needs to stop. If you're running out of good ideas for the show, and after what, almost 10 seasons who wouldn't, then you should end the show on top. This wouldn't happen though, because Seth's getting paid damn good money not to, so there it is. It could be just me, but most of the season finales of these shows just aren't that good! Oh well.....

Due to the positive reviews I've been getting regarding my Swamp Thing comic reviews, I'm posting another one. Enjoy:

Swamp Thing Vol.1 #2(Dec-Jan 1972-73) "The Man who Wanted Forever" By Len Wein and Berni Wrightson.

This issue marks the 1st App. of Anton Arcane, who under Alan Moore was really written as an evil sonofabitch! Incest, devil-worship/witchcraft and more were just some of the numerous crimes Arcane committed. Here, he's just getting started, as Lein reveals how this guy wants power badly no matter the cost!

The issue starts off almost parallel to the first issue, as Swamp Thing/Alec's shown hiding out amongst the Louisiana swamp while watching his and his wife's killers being loaded up into a meat-wagon/Ambulance.
While watching them, he flashes back to how it all started, which was covered last issue. He remembers being confronted by his soon-be-killers, being blown up, emerging from the swamps as a new creature, and finally the small measure of revenge he obtained by killing his killers. He's too wrapped up in thinking how his life went wrong to notice a pack of weird and grotesque creatures slowly ganging up on him. Then a weird talking brain/hand hybrid creature shouts out orders: "Swiftly my Un-Men, capture him swiftly! The master will not tolerate your failure!" Yes folks, this is also the 1st appearance of the Un-Men!

ST/Alec just wants to be left alone, and struggles to fight them off! Then one of the Un-Men, Ophidian, a snake-like creature slithers into action and hypnotizes ST/Alec to go to sleep. ST/Alec passes out, leaving himself open to the UN-Men's tender mercies. Meanwhile, Lt. Cable, who's not that far away, hears some commotion. He looks up to discover a large plane flying overhead with ST/Alec chained up underneath the plane. He vows to follow ST, who he mistakenly believes killed Alec and Linda Holland.  We follow ST's journey from the swamps of Louisiana to the European countryside, where ST's taken to a huge, but strange-looking, creepy castle over-looking a small European town. He's then chained up crucifixion-style on some slabs of wood and marched up into the the very heart of the ominous-looking castle.  Then, just as they all approach the castle's gates, ST wakes up! "Chained...they had me chained! The scenery is different but the situation is the same!" He begins to fight with the Un-men again, noting a nearby window and thinking to leap out of it. Before he can, a voice shouts "Now, now my pets...you shouldn't be so rough with your new playmate!" The voice belongs to an old man who introduces himself as simply Arcane! Arcane offers his hand to ST, and ST takes it, as they both go inside the castle. It is here, that Arcane explains how he sought ST out because Arcane's discovered the secret to immortality, but his body's too old and frail to use it. ST's body, on the other hand, seems perfect enough to withstand the ritual needed to obtain the immortality. He then takes ST/Alec on a tour of his castle home, which acts as home/confinement to his numerous experiments that all look like Frankenstein rejects. he explains to ST/Alec how they all came about: "Using my gathered knowledge, I sought to build myself a new, more enduring form, synthetically! My Un-men are the result of my first experimentations, crude, but totally dedicated to me!"  He then goes on to explain to ST/Alec how he found him using an ancient mystical mirror. I need one of those for the house myself.

Arcasne continues on about how he knows of ST/Alec's condition and how it all happened, including the death of his wife Linda. He then says the magic words to ST/Alec with this proposition: "How would you like to be human once again, Doctor Alec Holland?" Arcane goes off on how he can fix ST/Alec and make him human again, all the while ST/Alec's simply staring real hard out the window. Arcane continues to prod him, "What's wrong with you man? Don't you want to be human? Don't you care?", all to which ST/Alec responds with a heart-felt "I, care!"  Arcane then proceeds to give ST/Alec a physical, exploring his plant-like body with a boyish glee. Arcane then says "I would say your body is exactly what I've been looking for!" in a way you just know is not going to end well at all for ST/Alec, and off we go! The scene jumps back to Lt.Cable who's just gotten other government agencies to look for ST. Unbeknownest to hm, the big boss of the Conclave from last issue is secretly listening in on Cable via the dog's microphone also from last issue. He too wants to find Swamp Thing, if only to get revenge on him for killing his men.

Back to Arcane and Swampy, as Anton Arcane shows ST just how he's going to restore ST to normal again. He'll use the mystic Soul Jar to do it, along with an incantation that will basically cause Arcane to get the ST body, while reverting Alec Holland to his normal body once again. Arcane tells ST/Alec to want it while he chants, and after a brief period of pain, Alec Holland awakens to his normal body again. He's initially shocked off course, but deals with it quickly enough. Arcane, now in ST's body talks easily to Alec, something that Alec himself had much difficulty doing. Arcane assures Alec that everything's fine now, and Alec takes off for some time to himself.  Alec thinks to himself how incredible this all is to be free of being a monster, and then pines for his lost wife Linda. After all that, he goes off wandering the castle looking for some drinks, when he overhears Arcane's true reason for trading bodies w/Alec; He ultimately wants to destroy the quiet village underneath his castle and amass even more power for himself, and with his new body he figures he's unstoppable. And he might be just that! Alec runs off towards the soul jar, but it's guarded by a giant 4-armed monster. The monster snatches up Holland, trying to break his back, when Holland strangles the monster out using his nylon robe. With the monster defeated, Alec gets ready to smash the jar, when Arcane runs in to stop him. "Holland, don't! For God's sake man, you'll ruin everything." Arcane pleads. To which Holland replies "Yes, Arcane...for God's sake", and smashes he soul jar. Holland reverts back to Swamp Thing, and Arcane back to his old body. Arcane's not finished yet though, as he orders his creatures to attack ST, while he runs off. ST fights through them to get to Arcane, forcing Arcane to jump out one of his castle windows. The Un-Men all stop, and then after thinking for awhile on what they should do, they simply do what they've always done, and follow their master out the window. ST/Alec's left to ponder what just happened, and then walks off for home. But he doesn't see a very Frankenstein-looking creature watching him!

Next issue: The Patchwork Man!

So what'd you guys think? Not bad huh? And yes we know Arcane's not really dead yet, but ST doesn't! I don't have the next issue, so I can't review that one, but I do have more in this early series. Maybe I'll get to them later. I'm out of here.

"When the music's over.....turn out the lights"

So according to Bleedingcool.com and various message and comic boards, it looks like DC comics just might be pulling off a major relaunch of all its titles this September. Apparently Flashpoint#5 will be the only comic that DC will distribute on Aug 31st, leaving many to wander what they'll publish/distribute the following week, which is Sept 6th. I don't know if DC's really planning on doing this due to the fallout of Flashpoint, but I hope not. It's already becoming too much of a common practice to relaunch or restart comic titles over from scratch with a new issue number one. I figure that's due to sales, and the possible reason being that comic fans really like fresh, new number ones. Marvel's been doing this recently over the last couple of years, with DC right behind them. Personally, I don't like this. I mean certain titles like Iron Man, Captain America, and Fantastic Four only recently re-numbered back to their original numbering before their own various restarts and relaunches. And as for the DC side of the track, the biggest two titles that they have issue-wise, are Action Comics and Detective Comics, with Batman trailing behind. Action and Detective have both lasted up to 900 issues a piece; well Detective's close. A poster by the name of Barry Allen on the CBR message boards said he liked to see both comics reach #1,000 is his lifetime. I imagine that'll be hard to do if DC restarts everything over with new number ones.

I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens.

Also, in a rather said bit of news, I just found out that former Pro-Wrestler Randy "Macho Man" Savage died earlier today. He suffered a heart attack while driving with his wife along a Tampa highway. He swerved into on-coming traffic and crashed, and later was pronounced dead at the hospital. He was only 58, and had just married his current wife Barbara last year. She survived with minor injuries, but sadly he did not. My heart felt condolences go out to his family and friends. He'll truly be missed, and joins a very long list of former pro-wrestlers who dies before their time. I know I'll miss him.
I hope he's snapping a Slim Jim in Heaven while diving of the top of those ropes in God's wrestling ring.

And of course, as Googum already posted on his blog, as have numerous people, some Christian nut claims the world's ending this week. He claims on May 22, a major earthquake will hit New Zealand and continue on to attack the whole world. So, if you don't hear from me Monday, you know what happened.
Have a good weekend, and try not to die......

"Dark Genesis"

Hello all. After just re-reading the six issues I have of the original Swamp Thing run, his re-introduction to the DCU at the end of Brightest Day, and his Mattel exclusive DCUC figure, I've found myself in a Swamp Thing frame of mind. Nothing wrong with that I guess, as the big green fella's becoming popular all over again.

Here's his new action figure; I'm not totally sold on it because it's nowhere near as articulated as the rest of the DCUC line is. Still, it's not bad for what it is, and there might be some improvements before it goes on sale July 15th.

Now there's been a constant rumbling about ST's reappearance in BD. Mostly the criticism's about Geoff Johns' new(old) rendition of Swampy. Apparently Alec Holland and Swampy are to be one and the same, as opposed to Alan Moore's version where Alec Holland was killed, and Swampy found out he was a living plant that had Holland's memories. I think you can still enjoy both Moore and Johns' stories. One doesn't necessarily negate the other, unlike maybe what Moore did with Len Wein's original vision of ST. Still, it's a good time to be a ST fan, and oh guess what, John Constantine himself is also back in the proper DC Universe. I myself think the whole former Vertigo policy where vertigo characters couldn't interact with the regular DCU was bullshit anyways. DC owns Vertigo, it's a sub-branch of the entire DC line, but instead it was treated like it was a separate publisher that they had to get permission from to use certain characters. The whole thing was ridiculous, and I'm glad these two are back where they belong. And hey, there's still a Vertigo version of John Constantine still being published, so there shouldn't be any more bitching about the whole thing.

With that in mind, it's time for a Random.....Comic.....Review!
Today, we're going to take a look back at where it all started for Swamp Thing, or at least, his first issue of his 1st original series. So without further ado........

Swamp Thing#1(Oct-Nov 1972) "Dark Genesis" Written by Len Wein, Art by Berni Wrightson

 

The story starts off with images of various swamp creatures going about their daily lives in the swamp. We're then directed to a single barn in the swamp. It's being watched over by a strange creature from a distance. He stands, waiting patiently for something or someone. "They will return...those who killed me! They will return...and I will be waiting!" The creature continues to silently stare intensely at the barn. It's then that the creature starts to reflect on the moments that led up to this point. A Lt.Cable brings a husband and wife team of scientists out to a deserted, but refurbished barn deep in the heart of the Louisiana swamp.  This is a top-secret location known to a very select few due to the important research project the couple are working on. Lt. Cable leaves the scientists to their work after reminding them how important their work is and how many individuals would love to get their hands on the Bio-Restorative Formula the scientists are working on.

The story flashes forward to a few days later, where Doctors Alec and Linda Holland are busily working on the formula. All of a sudden there's a knock on the barn door. Thinking it's Lt. Matt Cable, Dr.Holland opens the door. Standing there is a man calling himself Ferrett, and his two associates. "We three represent a private organization interested in purchasing your Bio-Restorative Formula." Ferrett says. He offers Dr.Holland a blank check and insists he takes it. Alec Holland refuses, and before things get rough, one of the associates notices a patrol car coming. The three take off, but warn Dr.Holland to accept the offer. The Hollands inform Cable of what transpired, and he reminds them how dangerous the project is. He leaves, but then another visitor to the couple arrives. This time it's a dog. Linda convinces her husband to keep the dog, which Alec reluctantly does. What they don't know, is that the dog is carrying a hidden radio transmitter in it's head, planted there by the organization that earlier confronted the Hollands. We're then shown who's the boss of that organization, called the Conclave. He wants the formula, even if it means killing the Hollands. The next day, the men from earlier show up to renew their offer to Dr.Holland. Again he says no, and is attacked by one of the thugs, Bruno. Bruno knocks Alec out, and the gang of thugs rig the barn to blow up with explosives. Dr. Holland comes to, noticing the explosives. But it's too late, and the explosives go off, sending a burning Holland to stagger blindly out into the swamp to find comfort from his pain. He proceeds to disappear into the bog, leading his wife and Cable to believe him dead. After the funeral, Cable drives Linda Holland back to the barn, where only she can complete the formula. A harsh rain begins to pour down in the swamp, causing a strange hand to emerge from the muck! Slowly and steadily a figure emerges from the swamp. It's alive! It's Swamp Thing! What was once Dr. Alec Holland slowly makes its way back to the barn. It sees it's reflection, and cries out in horror. Cable and Linda Holland are startled by the noise and open the door, only to unintentionally let the dog out. Cable chases after it, only to be hit from behind by Bruno. Ferrett and Bruno force their way into the barn, killing Linda. Meanwhile, ST notices the dog trapped in the bog. He rescues it, only to hear a loud gunshot. "Nooooo! Linda, my linda...if they've hurt you..." Swampy takes off towards the barn, only to find Linda already dead. He curses himself for saving the dog when he could have been there for her. Pissed off beyond reason, Swamp Alec goes after the men who killed her. Ferrett and Bruno try to run down Swamp Alec with their car, but to no avail! Swamp Alec smashes the fuck out of the car, causing Ferrett to fly out of the window. Bruno goes after Swampy, but he's killed off in blow! Ferrett tries to shot Swampy down, but that doesn't work either. Swampy kills him too, only to be shot out by Lt.Cable, who thinks Swampy attacked him and murdered Linda. Swampy takes off, with Lt.Cable swearing to find him. Swampy's just come down from his state of rage, and is feeling depressed now that his wife's dead and he's a freak. "Dr.Holland had all the answers....he was an intelligent man...but Alec Holland is dead, and in his place stands only a SWAMP THING."  Suddenly we see a mysterious figure observing all of this. "There, my pets, is the one we have spent years searching for. There is the one we must have. Fetch him my pets! Bring him here...to me!"  End of story.

So what'd you think? Yes it's a depressing story at the offset. Stories like this usually are, but things get a whole hell of a lot weirder before this series is done. I'll probably review the rest from here, as I have the next issue after this one. The collection then jumps around a lot, from 1,2, then 13, 15, 16, and finally 19.  I got these issues from my father-in-law, so that's why the collection skips around alot. Not bad though. Len Wein is a pretty good writer, and we all know how awesome Berni Wrightson is! This team sadly wouldn't stick around past the 3rd issue. Instead, Nestor Redondo would fill in for the rest of the series, and damn is he awesome! I love his detailed art. There were other writers on this series too, like David Michelinie and Gerry Conway. So not too shabby huh?

"Your Cheatin' Heart....."

Wow what a week so far huh? Former California Governer, Arnold Schwarzenegger just revealed this week to that not only did he cheat on his wife Maria Shriver(which we all figured that),and not only was it with the family housekeeper that lived with the Scharzenegger family for 20 years, but that he had a child with the housekeeper! Apparently the Governator had a love child with the woman in 2001, two years before he ran for governor. He's been paying child support all this time, but how he managed to keep the whole affair secret until now I'll never know. Yes folks, Arnold's now joining the now time-honored tradition of cheating politicians. I feel for his wife and kids, who know have to reconcile the fact that not only did their dad cheat, but that there's a new addition to the family. I wonder what they'll get him for Father's Day?

Yes, it's shit like this that gives men everywhere a bad name. Women already call us dogs and pigs, and Wonder Woman wants to castrate us obviously, and who can blame them?

Speaking of well-known horndogs, check this guy out:

Now that I'd pay to see happen in comic.

A Flash.....Point!

So crazy times all alright huh? Ashton Kutcher replaces Charlie Sheen on 2 and Half Men, Donald Trump wisely decides not to run after showing he couldn't handle the media scrutiny, and

That reminds me, there's another crazy world out there called Flashpoint out there. In that world, Barry Allen no longer has his powers but his mother's alive, Cyborg takes Superman's place as that world's #1 hero, Batman is Bruce Wayne's father, Thomas Wayne, WW's castrated and killed all British men, and Aquaman's sunk most of Europe. Whew, that's alot to take in. Now if you think things are tough for us, imagine how tough things are for our poor heroes:

 

Have a good day

Ask the Monkey-God!

Had a nice weekend, got too drunk last Friday night, and had a successful yard sale the following Saturday morning! Oh God, but I was hungover as hell though! You know how it goes; you start off with a pitcher of beer, then you get brave enough for a couple of mixed drinks, then that turns to a couple more drinks, and then when you get home, more drinks. I'm just glad I ate all of those hot wings, fries, and celery, or else I would've had to blow chunks. Now don't get me wrong; I'm not glorifying drinking to excess. I'm just saying be careful when out drinking; you could bite off more than you planned on chewing that's all. But Heather and I do enjoy our weekly Friday nights, where he drink pitchers of beer with hot wings, burgers, or Mexican food. It's just good fun. Although fun was not the mood I was in after having to get up the next morning @ 5:30am to get ready for our yard sale. I was a zombie for the first couple of hours, but believe it or not we did pretty good. At least a bunch of junk that was filling up much needed space is no longer an issue.

Well, last week and this week are the weeks for the season/series finales of all your favorite shows. Smallvile wrapped its series last friday, and others are due this week as well. I'm looking foward to How I Met Your Mother's season finale, as well as The Office and Parks and Recreation. P&R is quickly becoming as funny and memorable as the Office once was, and I figure it will replace the show in the ratings when/if the Office finally ends. Last week's episode with Tom's snake juice liquor was funny as fuck! I highly recommend looking it up @ either NBC.com, Youtube, or Hulu. Trust me, that episode's worth it!

Speaking of funny shows, it looks like Ashton Kutcher's replacing Charlie Sheen on Two and Half Men. I'm not sure how they're going insert into the show, but one suggestion is that Charlie's dead or takes off with Rose, leaving Alan and co. to inherit the house. But then Ashton shows up as Charlie's bastard son/forgotten relative, and tooks over ownership of the house. Show's creator Chuck Lorre claims to have an answer, so I guess we'll all have to wait until this fall to found out what's the deal.

So, you're probably wondering who's the Monkey God mentioned in title right? Well, here he is:

So what do you guys think? He'll be back if you guys want more. And he's not kidding; there's another Planet of the Apes movie coming out this summer. This time it's called Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and it's a prequel explaining how the apes came to rule Earth. I'm skipping it, but I think my buddy Googum might be interested. Right Goo?